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May 2014 Moms
ABColeslaw
member
Angel Baby Elisabeth Adelle April 2008
@pandadair
ABColeslaw
member
Are you going to tell us what color those cupcakes were or what?
Asher Benjamin and Lola Aisling
Infertility
PCOS, Progesterone Deficiency Disorder, Multiple Miscarriage
Clomid, Metformin, Ovadril, PIO, P17 Iron/Platlet Tranfusion
My Spring Babies!
Angel Baby Elisabeth Adelle April 2008 Asher Benjamin April 2010
Lola Aisling May 2014
This discussion has been closed.
Re: @pandadair
ETA: I did a good job of being excited while everyone was there. So, I at least managed to not make it super awkward for everyone. And my husband is an adorable, bumbling fool when I get upset and he doesn't know what to do, so that aspect of it has been pretty enjoyable.
Glad the cake was yummy!!!
My sister wanted two girls...I take it as a compliment, because she loved having a sister. Her first was a girl, but the second as not.
At the A/S for my nephew (BIL and I were there) you could totally tell the whole time that he was a boy, before they even officially got to the area. And my BIL and I looked at each other panicked and my sister caught us. And she was so upset, because she was hoping she was the only one who saw it, that she yelled at us. Stop looking! Just keep it to yourselves. And when the tech told her it was a boy, she started crying hysterically. They couldn't even finish the scan. She had to take a break, let someone else go before her, and then come back to finish.
She refused our traditional "After gender shop" and literally laid in bed and cried for three days. She was terrible. She would only emerge to say things like "You name him, I don't care"
Anyway, it took her a long time to come around, she went to see a therapist to deal with some of it. But now her and my nephew are like "this" seriously. It is like the greatest love story ever. He even looks just like her and has her personality.
I feel ya! I always said I would not know what to do with boys because I am such a girly-girl. And now here I am with a DS and another one on the way. I will have 2U2 - both boys!
I was rally ok with DS1 being a boy...I think it was my short-lived by comparison, but nonetheless painful IF diagnosis. I was a little bummed when I found out this 2nd LO was a boy...even cried a little. I pretty much know that we are done with this one as we will have 2U2 and my "IF" condition (severe DOR/borderline premature ovarian failure) means another one is unlikely unless we shoot for 3U3...which isn't going to happen. I have always wanted a little girl...even, embarrassingly, have some little girl outfits from before I was ever even pregnant with number 1. But, alas, it was not meant to be. Sigh.
The only thing that I can say that makes me feel better is that having had a DS already, when they are born they are pretty much sex-less. Other than not being able to put giant, ridiculous bows in their hair and dress them in tutus and rhinestones (which I guess you could even if it was a boy if you wanted to do that sort of thing...I certainly have some male friends who love their tutus and rhinestones), a baby is a baby. They don't come of the womb "acting" like a little boy or girl. And by the time they get older, you will love them so much that it won't matter! You will even start to think that boys are way cooler than girls and all of your friends with just girls are missing out. I know this may not make you feel much better now, but maybe it will down the road...Plus, I try to remind myself that this way I can stay the princess/queen of the house and don't have to share the limelight with another little princess.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Awww, try not to beat yourself up about your reaction. I know that despite my best intentions, I'm placing all sorts of expectations/hopes/whatever onto this kid well before it's born, and I think I'm going to have a similar reaction if we find out it's a boy (I'm most likely one and done). It may seem like an irrational reaction, you may have sanctimommies condemning you because you should only want a health baby, but it's okay to let yourself grieve a little bit! Of course it's not the end of the world, but it's different than what you had hoped for, and change/adjusting expectations is hard whether or not one is pregnant, you know?
aw i totally understand this! i want a girl so bad. i've just always imagined myself with a girl, even dreamt about it. at this point i think i've almost convinced myself the baby is a boy, i think it might be coming from a self preservation standpoint more than anything, because if i prepare myself for a boy now, maybe it'll lessen the "blow" if it's not.
but i totally have no idea how i'll react when i find out for sure.
one thing that helps me get excited about a boy is to imagine a mini version of my husband.
I have been wondering about this myself! Couple of things.....
This is my third pregnancy. It took me a LONG time to decide that I wanted to try again, and I decided to try again SOLELY to see if I could get a girl. I waited long enough, however, that I was sure I would be okay if it was another little boy. That said:
My first pregnancy I wasn't phased when they said boy. That was fine with me.....the second, I had a reaction that sounds similar to yours. On the table, during the scan, at the high risk center, the technician said boy and I instantly cried. She thought it was happiness.....my friend was with me, and she knew it was not happiness. She took me for a bean burrito at taco bell to make it better.
I went back and forth being okay for the rest of the pregnancy. I will tell you, that boy is almost 9 now, and I love him more than I ever thought I could love a person. Not in that cheesy, maternal way (although that is there also) but that boy is a male version of me. He is a sarcastic, bossy blue eyed devil. He is perfection.....and I am lucky.
I know that you already know you will feel better about it, I just wanted you to know that bean burritos might help
Seriously, <<<hugs>>>
That said, I really appreciate all the supportive words from everyone. I knew I'm not unique in my reaction, but you guys are very helpful. And thanks for checking in on my cake, @ABColeslaw! I feel so special that you thought of me ;;) .
Fo sho!
One thing that makes me feel better about possibly having a boy is being able to take the opportunity to help him become the kind of man that I would want for the awesome hypothetical daughter I didn't have.
I'm about to get all weird and sappy. I actually don't question my ability to raise a boy (Anymore than a girl, anyway. I'm a FTM and obviously don't know what I'm doing), nor do I worry that I won't be able to relate, that they're not as cute and cuddly, or whatever. As much as our generation was raised to believe we could be whatever we wanted, I think there will be even fewer barriers for our children. I think women will continue to achieve greater things, and I want(ed) my daughter to be one of them. Like it seriously made me goofy excited for no reason when, while my husband was active duty, they announced they would begin integrating the submarine force. Awesome! It just made me picture our little girl wanting to be a Navy nuke submariner just like her Dad and knowing that she'd actually have the option. I know we will raise an amazing, progressive guy that will be a supportive partner to whomever he ends up with. I'm just being a goober right now.