If we want to talk offended, I am sort of offended that people think I am a moron who doesn't realize there are obtcles to breastfeeding. I'm arguing for better healthcare for women for crying out loud!
I don't think that anyone disagrees that better healthcare for women and more education and support for breastfeeding are positive things. When you say ads like this aren't putting anyone down and breast milk doesn't get recalled its clear you don't get it at all.
But the french fries are not the only thing they are eating all day, every day for a year. These types of posts are basically saying you are feeding your child crap, multiple times a day, for a year.
I have no problem with education and letting people know the benefits of breastfeeding. But what you are failing to realize is that for a lot of people, it just does not work out for them. Until you have sat in the doctor's office hysterically crying because your child is just not gaining weight, I don't think you are really going to understand the impact these negative memes have on people, especially new moms. These memes are attacking the most vulnerable.
I will also say that my child lost so much weight because breastfeeding was pushed so hard, and I am a person who relies on what science tells me. Every single medical person told me that breast was best. Every single lactation consultant insisted that nearly everyone can do it. The breastfeeding boards gave a million and one helpful suggestions insisting I just needed to try harder. As a result, I pushed forward when I should have stopped. My child's health suffered. It took a lactation consultant to say "Breast is best, but formula is ok, too."
The message needs to be informative, without being shaming.
Apparently, I'm "qualified" to talk about this since I have cried w/ my LC as we worked things out.
Did you find out what was wrong? You are right, that a good lactation consultant should have said that the most important things was feeding the baby, that is what mine did. That said, the bolded is true. Is it hard to be that small percentage that can't do it? Yes. I have been there. But to say it doesn't work out for a lot of people just isn't true. Often, when it doesn't work out, there is a lot more to the story.
I still think the memes are silly and if they get you that upset, that is on you. Again, I've been there, I wouldn't have thought twice about crap like that b/c I know it is crap.
Like Amy said the education and information and support that most women get is far from what is necessary. The majority of OBs and pedis don't know jack about breastfeeding and that's the first person a woman goes to for help.
You may have had a tough time nursing but you were able to. If you went six weeks with nursing and pumping around the clock and at best you made 2oz of breastmilk in 24 hours and you read that the day after everyone told you that you fought the good fight but this was the best you were going to get even after you wanted to so, so badly you might not have the same reaction.
You right that I was more successful than 2oz/day, but it was somewhere between 50-60%of what I needed, so far from being able to like it "should" happen.
I guess it's hard to know how I'd feel in that exact moment, but most of us are not in that exact moment now as we react. I still think we are giving too much credit to a ridiculous meme.
Thank goodness we are not still in that moment, but I remember it vividly. It was a very difficult time, and I certainly would not want someone else to have those feelings just so I could pat myself on the back.
I can look back at it now from a logical, reasonable place. There was no reason found for my loss of supply, and saying it is uncommon is just not true. Whatever the myriad of reasons, many people either cannot or will not adjust their lives so drastically to BF a child. That is not selfish and they should not be made to feel so.
It was much easier to lose my supply the second time around when I could see my thriving, healthy son and have a touch of perspective. However, a lot of people are not there yet and do not have that reference point. I would feel terrible for adding fuel to the flames of self doubt just so I could feel better about myself.
Putting aside the touchy issue. From a marketing standpoint, positive encouraging marketing is much more successful than negative shame ads, especially when it is a health issue that some women are forced to choose for their children.
If you are pro-bfing education then you should be pro-positive educational marketing of BFing. Throwing around dumb messages that ridicule women's choices for their families in general should be considered a step backward for all of us.
I don't think people are turned off of BFing by the memes, I think they're turned off by the general attitude of people who formula shame. No one wants to feel judged. And I am equally annoyed by people who BF/NiP shame as I am by people who FF shame. I have no problem with educational material but things like this aren't educational, they're meant to show off "my kid has the shiny best ring and your kid has a shitty ring pop because you settled." I don't think most people "settled" most people had their hand forced by a physical inability to BF or by circumstances that made them unable to BF.
And does it matter why someone didn't BF, anyway? Why does it need to be pushed at all? BM is healthier, I agree, but people make whichever choice they want for whatever reason they want, why is it okay to judge them for how they want to use or not use their body? If someone wants to NiP then great, more power to her, I will be respectful and honestly not care. But I expect that in return. Post an informative article if you want, judgey facebook memes aren't doing anything but making some people feel bad.
Putting aside the touchy issue. From a marketing standpoint, positive encouraging marketing is much more successful that negative shame ads, especially when it is a health issue that some women are forced to choose for their children.
If you are pro-bfing education then you should be pro-positive educational marketing of BFing. Throwing around dumb messages that ridicule women's choices for their families in general should be considered a step backward for all of us.
Is anyone saying they aren't dumb?
Also, I would like to cross reference this post with the "What's Your Excuse" Facebook fitness lady thing. Remember how lots of posters didn't think that was offensive? That calling other women lazy fatties was cool?
I didn't read every single post, but obviously some people think they are not dumb because someone created them and they are getting shared all over Facebook. I'm just saying I think it's totally counterproductive. I BF both my kids while working full time and traveling, and it was hard, it kicked my ass, but I have friends who tried for months to BF and ended up with formula and they are still struggling with that decision to this day. The "formula is poison" messages are out there. I think it totally depends on where you live. I live in Seattle where FF is totally disrespected, so I see a lot more negative formula messages than positive BFing ones.
Memes like that are why I look at my healthy 6 year old and still have pangs of guilt that BFing didn't work for her. It wasn't due to lack of effort. On the contrary, I saw 3 different LCs, tried pills, tried everything. But at her 9 week visit she weighed the same, to the ounce, she had weighed at 3 weeks. I ended up switching to EPing that day, but it was too late to get a good supply established, so she had BM and 1 bottle of formula a day until I dried up entirely at 6 months. In order to pump 22 oz a day of BM I spent a full hour pumping 5 times a day. So 5 hours a day attached to the pump instead of spending time with my daughter.
Having now BFed both of her siblings I can confirm without a doubt that she had a really weak suction and was absolutely unable to transfer milk correctly. It took BFing her siblings to confirm that, although I had an inkling since I didn't feel anything at all when she was nursing and everyone said it hurt.
I also used to get dirty looks on playgrounds on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, where formula was treated like poison (ironically when I moved 20 blocks north before Emma was born I had someone let me know that WIC would cover formula if I couldn't afford it, there was no need to BF). It reached the point where a few times I would say things like "come on, drink for auntie" to my daughter so it looked like I was a sitter giving BM in a bottle because I was made so uncomfortable.
I would like to see better education in place so more women were aware of the benefits of BFing, but it's a multi tiered problem. Living in Harlem I saw many women FF because they weren't educated about it and myths perpetuate about it being inferior or not enough to truly satisfy a hungry baby. I saw many others FF because they were working two different p/t shift-based jobs and their employers were not (yet) required to give them a place and time to pump. Many went back a few days post partum, so BFing was a pipe dream. There was no time to establish a supply or solidify a nursing relationship before mom was back at work and dad or grandma or another relative was watching the baby.
Thank goodness we are not still in that moment, but I remember it vividly. It was a very difficult time, and I certainly would not want someone else to have those feelings just so I could pat myself on the back.
I can look back at it now from a logical, reasonable place. There was no reason found for my loss of supply, and saying it is uncommon is just not true. Whatever the myriad of reasons, many people either cannot or will not adjust their lives so drastically to BF a child. That is not selfish and they should not be made to feel so.
It was much easier to lose my supply the second time around when I could see my thriving, healthy son and have a touch of perspective. However, a lot of people are not there yet and do not have that reference point. I would feel terrible for adding fuel to the flames of self doubt just so I could feel better about myself.
No, it is true. Please find me a study that says not being able to BF is common.
Sure, people choose to FF all the time, good for them. That doesn't mean they could not BF. I am not calling anyone selfish or saying they must drastically alter their life.
I am sorry you were unable to pinpoint the reason for your lack of supply. If I had not received a diagnosis it would have been a lot harder.
While its true that few women are truly unable to breastfeed due to lack of supply, I think there are a lot of reasons why nursing is not possible. Mom could be severely anemic which would be unhealthy for baby or may need to go on medication postpartum that is incompatible with breastfeeding. Baby could have a metabolic disorder which makes them incapable of handling breast milk. My second child has hypotonia, a condition that causes low muscle tone so she literally couldn't suck for more than a minute or two. I suppose for a woman with a good supply that would be a nonissue and they could exclusively pump but I'm sure it's more difficult even with a woman who wouldn't biologically have supply issues to establish a milk supply with using a pump alone. I think when you add all the possibilities it's an issue that does affect a number of women.
Also I'd love to live where you guys live where formula feeding is judged less than breastfeeding. Statistics show that more than 3/4ths of moms attempt breastfeeding and half are providing breastmilk to some degree at 6 months. You can't even watch keeping up with the kardashians without getting the message that formula is the devil, ffs. I think pop culture is all over breastfeeding and I think the only negative breastfeeding messages I got were from much older people who raised kids when ff was all the rage and people only breastfed who couldn't afford formula.
I started a reply to this yesterday and apparently never finished it. The comparison between the diamond ring and the ring pop is really annoying and inflammatory. If the comparison was between a diamond ring and a lab-created diamond ring, then sure. At a glance, no one can tell the difference, and no one sees the blood, sweat, and tears that got the real diamond from the mines. A lab-created diamond is similar in most ways to a natural diamond, and it will still make jewelry that is just as lovely and sparkly.
If you ask the general public, any way you feed your baby is the wrong way to do it. Formula feeding? Don't you know breast is best? Oh, you're breastfeeding? How disgusting, I hope you don't plan to do that for very long. Wait, you give your child Gerber purees? Could you be any lazier? Wow, you make your own organic purees? What a waste of time and money! Hang on, you don't give your kid purees at all? They're going to choke and die! What do you mean your child eats dairy? Don't you know cow's milk is the devil? And on and on and on.
I've seen FF moms shamed and I've been told many times to just "switch to formula" when I was struggling with BF. DS dropped 14% below his birth weight and I had people shaming me for supplementing with formula until my milk came in and then others who were telling me to just FF. Sometimes you really don't have much of a choice and sometimes you do but that is each family's personal choice.
I can definitly see why the post offended you. I have a "super mommy friend" on Facebook who always writes and posts things about how she's amazing because she had a med free natural birth and how no one really needs csections, etc. As a mom who had to have an emergency c section and really wanted a med free natural birth I do get bothered by these posts but I've also realized that if that is what she needs to feel good about herself as a mom then that's fine. Being a mom isn't easy and sometimes we have to lift ourselves up in the things we are able to accomplish... Now I think there are healthier and nicer ways to do that which don't offend or shame people.
Re: Does anyone have a super mommy friend?
I don't think that anyone disagrees that better healthcare for women and more education and support for breastfeeding are positive things. When you say ads like this aren't putting anyone down and breast milk doesn't get recalled its clear you don't get it at all.
And does it matter why someone didn't BF, anyway? Why does it need to be pushed at all? BM is healthier, I agree, but people make whichever choice they want for whatever reason they want, why is it okay to judge them for how they want to use or not use their body? If someone wants to NiP then great, more power to her, I will be respectful and honestly not care. But I expect that in return. Post an informative article if you want, judgey facebook memes aren't doing anything but making some people feel bad.
While its true that few women are truly unable to breastfeed due to lack of supply, I think there are a lot of reasons why nursing is not possible. Mom could be severely anemic which would be unhealthy for baby or may need to go on medication postpartum that is incompatible with breastfeeding. Baby could have a metabolic disorder which makes them incapable of handling breast milk. My second child has hypotonia, a condition that causes low muscle tone so she literally couldn't suck for more than a minute or two. I suppose for a woman with a good supply that would be a nonissue and they could exclusively pump but I'm sure it's more difficult even with a woman who wouldn't biologically have supply issues to establish a milk supply with using a pump alone. I think when you add all the possibilities it's an issue that does affect a number of women.
Also I'd love to live where you guys live where formula feeding is judged less than breastfeeding. Statistics show that more than 3/4ths of moms attempt breastfeeding and half are providing breastmilk to some degree at 6 months. You can't even watch keeping up with the kardashians without getting the message that formula is the devil, ffs. I think pop culture is all over breastfeeding and I think the only negative breastfeeding messages I got were from much older people who raised kids when ff was all the rage and people only breastfed who couldn't afford formula.
I can definitly see why the post offended you. I have a "super mommy friend" on Facebook who always writes and posts things about how she's amazing because she had a med free natural birth and how no one really needs csections, etc. As a mom who had to have an emergency c section and really wanted a med free natural birth I do get bothered by these posts but I've also realized that if that is what she needs to feel good about herself as a mom then that's fine. Being a mom isn't easy and sometimes we have to lift ourselves up in the things we are able to accomplish... Now I think there are healthier and nicer ways to do that which don't offend or shame people.