11 week old waking up early

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

My DD has been waking up between 4 an 5 just fussy. She's not hungry, but will wake up and look at mobile for a while then get fussy. We give her the pacifier and she goes back to sleep for like 20 minutes. Then this starts again. She doesn't actually get hungry until 7 or 7:30. It's like she just isn't tired anymore. She sleeps a total of 14.5-15.5 hours a day. Our nighttime routine is like this:

Feed usually around 7/7:30

Sleeping within 30-45 minutes (sleeps for an hour to 1 1/2 hours)

Wake her up around 9/9:15 for a last feeding

In bed within 20 minutes

She only takes about 10-15 minutes to eat, so that doesn't take long. Is it possibly that she is sleeping too long before her actual bedtime? Or maybe she needs to go to bed earlier? She goes 9-10 hours at night without needing to eat.

slh6363 · December 2013

Wow 9-10 hours that's pretty good...most babies STTN is only actually considered 5 hours. Maybe try giving her a bottle a little later like around 11 instead of 9. I know you said she's not hungry but that seems like a really long time for an 11 week old to go without feeding. The other thing that comes to mind is she having gas? My LO wakes up around 7 usually with gas.

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

MrsMuq said:
I'm kind of confused as to what the problem is here. Your baby sleeps for 9-10 hours overnight and then wakes up. She's sleeping an average of 15 hours a day. How many more hours do you expect her to sleep?

You could try shortening her naps during the day (although that wouldn't be my first choice), or maybe push back her bedtime a little, in 15 minute increments, to get her to sleep a bit longer in the morning. Or you could bring her into your bed and co-sleep for another hour or so after she wakes up.

She isn't sleeping 9-10 hours, she's going that long before she is actually hungry. We have gone nights where she's slept that long, but now she's sleeping like 6 hours and waking up just talking or being a little fussy. She's not hungry and she goes back to sleep after we give her the pacifier, but she wakes up again in 20-30 minutes. Then we repeat this until she is actually ready to eat. If she was hungry, I would feed her. But I've done that before thinking that's why she was up, and she barely ate and then just stayed up for over and hour laughing at her mobile and stars.

taraleanne · December 2013

Well, first of all, she's 11 weeks old, you really can't expect her to know what "early" is. Just because she wasn't hungry once or twice, doesn't mean she's not hungry now this time. Babies do funny things, they have their own way of doing things and they certainly don't go by the clock!! There's also growth spurts, teething, all sorts of things that would make her wake early, go through a regression, be hungry when normally she's "not". I would definitely try to feed her if she wakes up fussy and if that's not it then try something else..... Even now at 5 months my son sometimes wakes in the night to "play" and he basically does the same thing. We heard him this morning at 6am talking away, he usually doesn't wake till 730/8 or so. If he's not crying, I usually just leave him be, and he falls back asleep. Maybe that's what your LO will do if she's not fussy, but if she's fussy, she has a need. Maybe she wants you to play with her!! Also sounds like she's just had enough sleep and is bored? I don't know...but I also think you just sorta have to go with the flow.... her bedtime sounds fine to me, I wouldn't push it back, she'll just get overtired and then that leads to night wakings or having a harder time to sleep. Or take a look at how long her day time naps are and think about waking her to feed her more frequently during the day, get more sleep at night and possibly not wake her at 915 anymore....? good luck!

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

taraleanne said:
Well, first of all, she's 11 weeks old, you really can't expect her to know what "early" is. Just because she wasn't hungry once or twice, doesn't mean she's not hungry now this time. Babies do funny things, they have their own way of doing things and they certainly don't go by the clock!! There's also growth spurts, teething, all sorts of things that would make her wake early, go through a regression, be hungry when normally she's "not". I would definitely try to feed her if she wakes up fussy and if that's not it then try something else..... Even now at 5 months my son sometimes wakes in the night to "play" and he basically does the same thing. We heard him this morning at 6am talking away, he usually doesn't wake till 730/8 or so. If he's not crying, I usually just leave him be, and he falls back asleep. Maybe that's what your LO will do if she's not fussy, but if she's fussy, she has a need. Maybe she wants you to play with her!! Also sounds like she's just had enough sleep and is bored? I don't know...but I also think you just sorta have to go with the flow.... her bedtime sounds fine to me, I wouldn't push it back, she'll just get overtired and then that leads to night wakings or having a harder time to sleep. Or take a look at how long her day time naps are and think about waking her to feed her more frequently during the day, get more sleep at night and possibly not wake her at 915 anymore....? good luck!

Thanks. It really seems like she just wants to play. My LO isn't shy about letting me know when she's hungry (her pediatrician even joked about it after hearing her crying at her doctor appointment). The only reason I posted about this is because I didn't really think at this age she would start waking up earlier, when it isn't to eat.

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

MrsMuq said:

Juliebird8307 said:

MrsMuq said:
I'm kind of confused as to what the problem is here. Your baby sleeps for 9-10 hours overnight and then wakes up. She's sleeping an average of 15 hours a day. How many more hours do you expect her to sleep?

You could try shortening her naps during the day (although that wouldn't be my first choice), or maybe push back her bedtime a little, in 15 minute increments, to get her to sleep a bit longer in the morning. Or you could bring her into your bed and co-sleep for another hour or so after she wakes up.
She isn't sleeping 9-10 hours, she's going that long before she is actually hungry. We have gone nights where she's slept that long, but now she's sleeping like 6 hours and waking up just talking or being a little fussy. She's not hungry and she goes back to sleep after we give her the pacifier, but she wakes up again in 20-30 minutes. Then we repeat this until she is actually ready to eat. If she was hungry, I would feed her. But I've done that before thinking that's why she was up, and she barely ate and then just stayed up for over and hour laughing at her mobile and stars.

Okay - if she's in bed at 7/7:30, eats at 9, and sleeps until 4 or 5, she's sleeping 7-8 hours straight. And if she's not eating again until 7am, she's going 9-10 hours without food.

At this age, a) she's already STTN, b0 she's probably going too long without food.

I still don't get what the problem is with her wake up time - she's clearly sleeping more than enough based on your estimate she sleeps 14.5-15.5 hours total a day,

So, either she needs to nap less during the day, or if sleeping about 10-11 hours at night is her norm, you need to put her to bed later if you want her to sleep past 5. Or you need to adjust YOUR schedule to fit more with her sleeping needs - if that means you need to be up at 5a.m., I guess you need to go to bed earlier.

OK, I understand what you are saying. My total sleep time was based on her sleeping from 9:30ish to 7:30 straight. I keep track on an app and I don't usually stop it when she is awake at 4am on and off for the next couple hours. So basically, I think her total sleep time would be the correct amount with her sleeping from 9:30-
7:30. I'm not really concerned about that, I'm just using it as a reference. At her 2 month appt, she had gained enough weight and I told her dr that she goes 9-10 hours a night and she said that's great and didn't think she needed another feeding. Since she isn't hungry when she's waking up at 4, I just figured there was something I could adjust so that she would sleep until she was hungry.

Bamgal25 · December 2013

I'm curious as to why you think she is supposed to be sleeping past 5:00? Like you said in your OP, maybe she's just not tired anymore, though my vote is hungry. My DD has been waking around 4 or 5 and I do a short feeding and she goes back to sleep. I agree with PPs about offering to feed her and then if she doesn't eat much that's ok.

scamberlous3000 · December 2013

I have a 12 week old who eats every two hours during the day, cluster feeds in the evenings, then sleeps for about 6-7 hours at night (he just started doing this). I understand every baby is different, but I'm having a really hard time understanding how on earth your baby isn't hungry after 9-10 hours. How can you tell that she's not? Are you offering her food or just her paci?

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

I offer her the pacifier and she falls back to sleep in like 30 seconds. If I offer the pacifier in the day, and she is actually hungry, she screams her head off. My LO is not quiet if she it's getting what she wants. That's why I don't think she's hungry. She was hungry at her doctor's appointment, and her pediatrician got to hear her screaming. Right after that, I asked her if I should still be waking her to eat. Her response, with a laugh, was 'no, she'll let you know when she's hungry.'

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

I offer her the pacifier and she falls back to sleep in like 30 seconds. If I offer the pacifier in the day, and she is actually hungry, she screams her head off. My LO is not quiet if she it's getting what she wants. That's why I don't think she's hungry. She was hungry at her doctor's appointment, and her pediatrician got to hear her screaming. Right after that, I asked her if I should still be waking her to eat. Her response, with a laugh, was 'no, she'll let you know when she's hungry.'

ASmallWonder · December 2013

I'm not being snarky but why are you so hung up on her waking just to wake? It's not like they're only allowed to be awake if they're hungry. She's waking up because she's no longer tired, which is a perfectly acceptable reason.

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

elmoali said:
I'm not being snarky but why are you so hung up on her waking just to wake? It's not like they're only allowed to be awake if they're hungry. She's waking up because she's no longer tired, which is a perfectly acceptable reason.

Obviously, if that's the case I will just deal with it, but I don't really like my mornings starting at 4am. I know that can happen with babies, but the reason for the post was to see if there was anything I could do to make her wake up time later.

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

AFwifelife said:

Juliebird8307 said:

I offer her the pacifier and she falls back to sleep in like 30 seconds. If I offer the pacifier in the day, and she is actually hungry, she screams her head off. My LO is not quiet if she it's getting what she wants. That's why I don't think she's hungry. She was hungry at her doctor's appointment, and her pediatrician got to hear her screaming. Right after that, I asked her if I should still be waking her to eat. Her response, with a laugh, was 'no, she'll let you know when she's hungry.'

Maybe offer to nurse or a bottle. It really does sound like she is hungry and you are just temporarily soothing with the pacifier. I don't know why you are so adamant that she isn't hungry when you aren't even offering.

I also agree that she just might want to be up at that time.

I feel like I know her well enough to know when she's hungry. That's the only reason why I say she's not hungry. Obviously, I'm a FTM and learning as I go. But she has no trouble telling me in the day when she's hungry. She's been doing these long stretches for weeks now, and she's gained a pound in a little iver two weeks. Wouldn't her weight gain slow down if the long night stretches are too long for her?

llybeck · December 2013

Babies don't always act exactly the same and their patterns change all the time. My DD screams like that during the day when she's hungry but she almost never does at her 4am feeding. She is fussy, exactly like you are describing, and what she wants is food. Sure, she'll sleep for a little bit if I give her a pacifier but then she's up after a little bit because she's hungry! This is totally different than how she acts during the day.

The fact is, no matter how well you think you know LO you really don't know if she's hungry if you aren't even trying to feed her. We've all told you that's what it sounds like so what is it going to hurt to try?

And not to sound like an ass but you had a baby. It really doesn't matter that you don't like starting your mornings at 4, that baby dictates when you start your morning and that's just the way it is.

SnoopyLuv · December 2013

llybeck said:
Babies don't always act exactly the same and their patterns change all the time. My DD screams like that during the day when she's hungry but she almost never does at her 4am feeding. She is fussy, exactly like you are describing, and what she wants is food. Sure, she'll sleep for a little bit if I give her a pacifier but then she's up after a little bit because she's hungry! This is totally different than how she acts during the day.

The fact is, no matter how well you think you know LO you really don't know if she's hungry if you aren't even trying to feed her. We've all told you that's what it sounds like so what is it going to hurt to try?

And not to sound like an ass but you had a baby. It really doesn't matter that you don't like starting your mornings at 4, that baby dictates when you start your morning and that's just the way it is.

100% all this. My hungry baby is way different AM vs PM. Your LO is hungry. Some babies cluster feed in the AM and not just at night. You're just going to have to deal and count your blessings you get an 8 hour stretch. Many moms don't get that for months and months or until they've sleep trained.

taraleanne · December 2013

OP: my baby would go without eating that long when he was the same age too... and yes I think you'd find a weight problem if she was going too long. That said, one of the previous posters is right, her pattern may change for a while, esp during a growth spurt or just in general. My baby will also not cry in the morning either, even though he's just gone all night long without eating! He wakes up smiling and playing but I feed him and he nurses good. But you're right, you know you're baby better than any of us

It's possible that if you nurse her, she might go right back to sleep...I think that's common for babies, to have a long stretch of sleep, then an early morning feed then back to bed for a few hours. My baby used to do that then cut the morning feed eventually. I have heard of being able to put off hunger with a paci,but I never believed it myself. Anyway, good luck with all!

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

Thank you everyone for your responses. My DD woke up last night around 3:30. I tried the pacifier twice and the third time she woke up (around 4:15), I decided to feed her. She only ate for 3 minutes, but went right back to sleep and slept until 7:15. I really appreciate everyone's persistence with this. I never would have tried to feed her that early if it wasn't for your responses because she has gone 8-9 hour stretches without fussing at all, so I assumed she would do that every night. I thought I knew my daughter well enough to know that she wasn't hungry. I guess I don't have this parenting thing figured out as well as I thought I did.

CDMay2006 · December 2013

The thing is even if you had it figured out perfectly, her needs change quickly and often, so what works one week may no longer apply the next.
Also a lot of people don't realize it, but most babies give hunger cues (hands in mouth, etc.) for 10-15 min before they start crying. It's far preferable to respond to those cues before they cry, even if it's just a quick snack they need.

taraleanne · December 2013

Don't be too hard on yourself! Just when I think I have my son figured out he changes it up too! 11 weeks is young too, so it will get easier and more predictable as she gets older. You're doing what every FTM is, just figuring it out. It takes a long time, I know, I'm there with ya

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

Thank you so much ladies. My DH tells me all the time that I am too har on myself. I guess I just thought I would have this figured out better by now!

jazzyexpo · December 2013

Juliebird8307 said:

Thank you so much ladies. My DH tells me all the time that I am too har on myself. I guess I just thought I would have this figured out better by now!

Lurking.. but DD is 3 years old and I still don't have everything figured out.

It's all about learning as we go, we can't have all the answers

Juliebird8307 · December 2013

jazzyexpo said:

Juliebird8307 said:

Thank you so much ladies. My DH tells me all the time that I am too har on myself. I guess I just thought I would have this figured out better by now!

Lurking.. but DD is 3 years old and I still don't have everything figured out.

It's all about learning as we go, we can't have all the answers

I guess I better get used to it!

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