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Feeling guilty

greenicgreenic member
in Preemies
I am new here. Son was born this week at 34.5 weeks - early enough to scare me. I was feeling so guilty that I did something to cause preterm labour. Today we found out our son has 2 major heart defects and will need surgery at some point (need to meet w/ drs next week). Well now I am feeling even more guilty like I did something early in my pregnancy to cause these defects. I know I shouldn't think like that but I can't help it. Now being early doesn't seem so bad compared to what we are faced with now. Why do small innocent babies have to suffer so much!
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Re: Feeling guilty

  • jennybean80jennybean80 member
    I totally understand the guilt, I spent a lot of time feeling like that when my DS arrived at 27 weeks (did I do something, miss a PTL sign, etc). It's very destructive though - I know it's hard but try to put the guilt behind you and focus on the things you can do to make him happy, healthy and comfortable! Spend time doing Kangaroo Care when you can, breast or bottle feed him if he's ready for oral feeds. Get the nurses to let you help with bathing and diapering him. Good luck to you, and congrats on your DS's arrival! FX that the surgeries go smoothly!
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  • ashleymarie512ashleymarie512 member
    I totally understand how you feel! My body did evict LO early (preeclampsia and HELLP) and I still think about how I could have kept her in longer if I had been more aware.

    Same as pp said, be as involved as possible! They are so strong, it's amazing what they fight through. I hated seeing my LO suffer through all the pokes and sticks and tests, but her strength also amazed me. I think I cried more during the six tries (and four blown veins) trying to put in an IV than she did. Hang in there, I'll be sending thoughts for successful and smooth procedures!
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  • BLPL101BLPL101 member
    My water broke at 35 weeks and I feel guilty too. I just feel bad that I couldn't keep her in longer.
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  • greenicgreenic member
    Thanks for the support! We are there with him as much as we can. I have held him skin to skin but not as much as I'd like. He has been under the lights for jaundice the last 2 days. Looking forward to it tomorrow.
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