Trouble TTC

AF on Thanksgiving (CP's mentioned)

I posted in the IUI check in but i'm pretty bummed out and figured i'd start a new post to let things out. AF on Thanksgiving morning...I even knew this was going to happen. My cycle was the same as last month...I stim, trigger, have the IUI, gain 5lbs, wear big black sweaters to work all week to try to hide the crazy bloat (God forbid anyone asks if i'm pregnant I think i'll flip out), get a migraine a week later which shows my hormones are going down, AF comes early at 11dpiui. I know i'm just venting but none of this makes sense to me. I'm able to get pregnant twice on no meds and have 2 chemical pregnancies but on medication I can't get pregnant at all! (I did have 1 suspected CP while on femara). I just don't get why things aren't working, especially my last 2 cycles on injects since I seemed to be responding well. And then I have to hear about people who have been trying for just a few months and get pregnant right away. I am absolutely sick of congratulating people when they get pregnant and then congratulating them again after they have their kid and i'm still sitting here feeling like a damn failure and not even feeling like i'm at square one! I'm taking a few months off from the meds especially because of the way I responded the last 2 cycles with the weight gain and the OHSS. I do have an appointment to meet with my RE and I know exactly what he's going to say- one more IUI then move onto IVF. I'm petrified. I don't have the money for IVF and even if we did IVF there is no guarantee it will work. I don't know if it's the hormones right now or what but i'm usually a pretty strong person and I feel like i'm losing my mind! I thank this board for letting me vent and i'm sorry if i'm being a downer... I wish none of us had to go through this. 

Me and DH: 32, TTC since 2/2012
Dx: lean PCOS, low hormone levels, 2 CP's before seeing RE, MTHFR heterozygous
IUI #1 with clomid and ovidrel: BFN
IUI #2 with clomid (unresponsive), femara, ovidrel and novarel: Possible CP
IUI #3 with femara, ovidrel and novarel: BFN
IUI #4 with Follistim (115 iu) and ovidrel= BFN, developed OHSS, benched- 2 weeks of birth control pills
IUI #5 with Follistim (75iu) and ovidrel= BFN........Taking a medication break for a few months
IUI #6 with Follistim (75iu) every other day, femara and Lupron trigger= BFN
*Taking a long break to get healthy and research/prepare for IVF*
Goal: gain 5 lbs, gluten/dairy/soy/nut free
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Re: AF on Thanksgiving (CP's mentioned)

  • Oh, hon. Big HUGS.

    This IF journey is so confusing because there are no clear-cut answers to the question "why??"

    I am so sorry you're hurting. 

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

    CafeMom Tickers


    January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
    image 

  • I feel the same way sometimes. No your not alone in this. We are here. Vent away. Sending you big ((HUGS))
    BabyFetus Ticker

    Me-39, HSG 2/13- clear. DS-IUI #1-3/13,300iu Menopur 12 days,3 days Cetrotide, Ovidrel Trigger-BFN. IUI #2 06/13, BFP EDD: 02/22/14 m/c (cp), IUI #3- BFP EDD: 5/17/14 m/c 09/13. Blood work/RPL panel- nk cell/MTHFR mutation- negative. Blood work all good. Unexplained reason for m/c. IUI #4 BFP m/c (cp) 10/13. IUI #5- 12/13 Cancelled. No response. (1)follicle. IUI #5.1- 2/14. IVF Bound

    ********************SAIF/ PAIF/ ALL ARE WELCOME***********************
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  • I'm so sorry you're hurting. IF is a bitch. I've had dark days like that before. It's tough, they come and go. I wish I could say something genius and comforting, but all I can say is you are not alone and the board is here for you. Sending many hugs your way.
    Me: 33 - PCOS & Hypothyroidism DH: 35 - SA is good Married since 2010 (together since 2006) TTC since June 2009 (we knew we would have issues and wanted family right away after we got married). No pregnancies yet. May 2013 - started first round of Chlomid & ovidrel cycle.
  • Hugs
    Ready to take the road less traveled. 
  • You have been through so much. There's a way through this difficulty but sometimes it's so hard to see it, especially when another set back appears. Just do the next thing, whether that's a break or a change of scenery or a second opinion... Hugs!

    *Ticker/Siggy Warning*

    Me: 37 DH: 38 TTC since 2011 DH normal Dx: DOR (AFC ranges from 6-11; AMH 0.16; FSH 11.9; E2 45) 11/13: 1st IVF converted to IUI due to poor response to high dose antagonist protocol (only 3 follies) = BFN 12/13: IUI #2 letrozole + Bravelle = BFP, beta #1 156, beta #2 196 (diff. lab), beta #3 1037; 1st ultrasound @ 5 wks 1 day = 6 mm gest sac; 2nd ultrasound 6 wks 1 day = tiny flickering heartbeat; 3rd ultrasound 7 wks 1 day 10.3 mm embie growing away! 

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm sorry you're struggling, and I don't have any advice because I am pretty down right now too. So you're definitely not alone ((hugs))
    Pregnancy Ticker

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Me (28) - DOR (AFC <10, undetectable AMH, >10 FSH), homozygous E429A MTHFR
    DH (29) - MFI low count and morphology

    September 2013 IUI#1 - Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN
    October 2013 IUI#2 - Letrozole + Menopur + Trigger + IUI = BFN

    Nov 2013 IVF/ICSI #1 - Protocol: BCP prep, high doses Menopur and Bravelle (12 days), ganirelex
    Results: 5 retrieved / mature, 4 fertilized, 1 arrested and 3 complex abnormal after day 3 PGS = Cancelled after ER
    Jan/Feb 2014 IVF/ICSI #2 - Protocol: Estrogen priming, high doses Menopur and Bravelle (11 days), microdose lupron
    Results: Cancelled after 11 days of stims due to low response and E2 levels
    Feb 2014 IVF/ICSI #3 - Protocol: No prep, low dose Menopur (6 days), ganirelex, Bravelle booster with trigger
    Results: 1 retrieved / 0 mature = Cancelled after ER

    Officially moving on to embryo adoption! We used and love Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park
    October 2014 FET #1 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 4 from match #1, BFN
    December 2014 FET #2 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 4 from match #1, BFN
    March 2015 FET #3 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 6 from match #2, BFN
    May 2015 FET #4 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, lost 2 to thaw, transferred 2 of 6 from match #2, BFN
    October 2015 FET #5 - Natural cycle, lost 1 from match #3 and 1 from clinic backup to thaw, transferred 1 backup, BFN
    February 2016 FET #6 - Natural cycle, transferred 1 from match #4, B FREAKING P!
    Beta 1 = 162, Beta 2 = 316, doubling just over 48 hours

     

  • I'm sorry you're feeling down. IF sucks so bad. Hugs
    Me: 30 DH: 30 ~ TTC #1 Since August 2011 
    BFP #1 2/28/13, Ectopic, Tubal surgery 3/25 
    Began RE testing 8/8, Dx Unexplained, 
    IUI #1 11/1=BFN Moving on to IVF 
    IVF #1 12/2 ER 8R 7M 4 fertilized
    12/7 Transferred 2 "perfect" little blasts 12/17 BFN
    New DX= DOR, I fu*kng hate IF
    1/14 Hysteroscopy, new clean uterus!
    IVF #2: bcp, Lupron, follistim 300, menopur 225. 2/21 8R 4M 3F. 3dt of 2 perfect embryos. 1 little penguin 
     3/10 BFFN
    Regrouping. Seeing reproductive immunologist Dr. Kwak Kim 6/10 
    Kwak Kim protocol: Metformin 1000mg, vitamin D 4000iu, vitamin E 400iu, baby aspirin, Metanx, levothyroxine 75mcgs 
     Surprise BFP 9/21!!! Beta #1 247, Beta #2 630. Miscarried 10/13

  • Thanks for the responses. I appreciate every one of them. 

    @STBMrsMiller I'm sorry you're feeling down and hope you're feeling better as well. 
    @1983lindsey Thank you for the information. The clinic sounds like a great option but I live in NY. I have to do some more research about low cost alternatives in the area (if any) since my insurance does not cover anything for IVF. Thanks again for your response. I hope things work out for you as well and it does make sense in your case to skip the last IUI and head to IVF if you're ready. 

    Me and DH: 32, TTC since 2/2012
    Dx: lean PCOS, low hormone levels, 2 CP's before seeing RE, MTHFR heterozygous
    IUI #1 with clomid and ovidrel: BFN
    IUI #2 with clomid (unresponsive), femara, ovidrel and novarel: Possible CP
    IUI #3 with femara, ovidrel and novarel: BFN
    IUI #4 with Follistim (115 iu) and ovidrel= BFN, developed OHSS, benched- 2 weeks of birth control pills
    IUI #5 with Follistim (75iu) and ovidrel= BFN........Taking a medication break for a few months
    IUI #6 with Follistim (75iu) every other day, femara and Lupron trigger= BFN
    *Taking a long break to get healthy and research/prepare for IVF*
    Goal: gain 5 lbs, gluten/dairy/soy/nut free
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    3T June Siggy Challenge- Celebrity Crush: Woody Harrelson
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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