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June 2013 Moms
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Working moms by choice

FunkyPhoenixFunkyPhoenix member
in June 2013 Moms
Just curious to hear from those who chose to go back to work rather than stay home (but could have done so) -what contributed to that decision and do you regret it?

I'm in the process of making this decision now and see pros and cons on both sides. At the end of it, I think I might regret missing out on the time with DS by working but would never regret staying home... Leaning that way but really miss having my own identity and bringing in an income. It would be the difference of watching our spending closely or having plenty of income to go toward savings, college fund, vacations, etc.

What has been your experience?
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Re: Working moms by choice

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    SilverEFSilverEF member
    I work part time so it's the best if both worlds. It gives me time with mister but I still have adult interaction.
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    KateNP2013KateNP2013 member
    I previously worked full-time but switched to part-time work for several reasons:

    I can keep my skills up in my field. This would allow me the option to go back to work full-time without having to start over. I worked hard and made a lot of sacrifices to get to this point in my career.

    We have income to put toward my retirement, V's college fund and I have my own money. I also carry the benefits for the family.

    It gives me a little bit of sanity when I get out and have adult conversation. It is nice to not be known as "V's mommy" sometimes. I do have an identity apart from my kid.

    At the same time, I am off 4 days a week and still do mommy-and-me stuff. The time that I am away from her at work makes me appreciate the time with her all the more.

    The only con could be the potential loss of income one would get from working full-time. I am happy with my current work-life balance and am satisfied with my current income though.

    Hope this helps you with your decision and good luck.
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    FunkyPhoenixFunkyPhoenix member
    Thank you all for the responses. I know it is most certainly a personal decision that no one can make for me. I'm just curious as to how other moms came to their decisions to see if there's a point I hadn't considered. Also wondered if there were any stories of women going back to work then later deciding to stay at home, or looking back wished they had. I guess that's my fear, especially considering I had such difficulty having him and he may be my only baby. It's meant the world to me that I've been with him to see him giggle and roll over for the first time. It's the firsts I fear missing. However, as @WasNotWas mentioned, I'm not a true child care professional either and many days I feel beyond burned out with doing this 24/7. I feel that I would be more balanced if I had my own time away doing something I enjoy.

    Not an easy decision and I know I'm so blessed to be in this position. Thanks again for your feedback ladies!!

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    BC&LMBC&LM member
    I don't know if I had much of a choice, really, because it would be hard to maintain a decent lifestyle without us both working. However, if it were an option, I absolutely would have stayed home with LO. I hate seeing him only a couple of waking hours a day because he goes to bed just a couple of hours after I get home. I hate the fact that I am exhausted by the time I get done work, and I can't be as energetic with him like I was on maternity leave. I hate how he has been perpetually sick in some way since he started daycare. I hate not being able to take him out to the park, zoo, aquarium, botanical gardens, etc. during the week like I used to do; it's nice and quiet then, so he enjoys it more than the busy weekends. So, for me, if we could easily afford to live off my husband's income, it would be a no brainer. I am kind of a homebody anyway, so I am totally cool with only going out with friends a couple of times a month for my adult interaction. But I know some people get antsy just being around kids/spouse all the time and no one else, so I can understand why it might not be others' cup of tea.
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    numbersgirl08numbersgirl08 member
    It was never a consideration for me to stay at home - I always knew I would work. I put in a lot of hours for my career and really enjoy my job and what I do, I never considered quitting that. Similar to &wasnotwas, I'm not a child care professional, and I feel like I would get burnt out staying home. Our nanny gives N constant one-on-one attention and I like that she has another baby to play with during the day (we have a nanny share) and gets used to being watched by someone else.

    I think it depends on you. I think I'm a better mom working. There are some women who are better moms staying at home. I think that's the best question to ask yourself. It's easy to get caught up in what you think you might miss either way, but what will make you be the best mom you can be?
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    WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    @42butterflies exactly! It took us 15 minutes today to figure out Bradley was singing Feliz Navidad when we were decorating :)
    image
                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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    momofcatanmomofcatan member
    I always thought I would want to be a SAHM but don't have the option for financial reasons. I am at home right now because I get one year mat leave. I am looking forward to going back to work, this mat leave has made me see I am not cut out to be a SAHM. I even wonder now if DD would be better off in daycare with a professional than home with me. I don't miss adult interaction or feel crazy at home, but I being with DD 24/7 burns me out and I feel like SHE needs more than what I can give her. That being said I am still taking my year with her now, partially because I don't want everyone to look at me and know I couldn't handle it, but also because I still feel getting the year long mat leave is a great opportunity I don't want to give up.
    I would love to be able to work shorter hours so I can be home more for my kids, but I could not stay at home full time.

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    Greywolf12Greywolf12 member
    I still have another six months of maternity leave, but I'm definitely going back. I am making the most of this year and enjoying every minute of it, but I know I wouldn't be a good stay at home mom in the long term. The other thing I think about is that if I stayed home, I would definitely work when she's in school, but with my career I couldn't take five years off and come back to the same level I'm at now. Things change too fast.
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