Mixed feelings

Adam2010 · November 2013

As I get closer and closer to meeting this new LO I cannot help buthave mixed feelings. I find it harder and harder to conect to DH-we have been fighting a lot which is not like us. I know he is busy with work and often tired, however I have to ask for his help with DS#1 and with certain things around the house. A lot of the time he makes comments about not being able to relax and being tired and falls asleep right after DS#1 does. We do not spend any time together and I feel this is weighing on us. (DH works at 4 am and we do not have any days off toether. Plus, I am utterly exhausted. I am working full time as a preschool teacher and have DS#1 to take care of as well as a house to maintain and setting up for baby. I feel as if I cannot handle it all sometimes and it is weighing on the family. Although I feel so lucky and blessed to be pregnant again, I feel like "oh my, what have we done? Can we handle another child if we cannot handle everything right now?" And then because I feel this way I feel awful and like a terrible person. Do I really deserve this baby if I feel this way?
Am I alone in feeling this way or have any of you ladies felt like this? Am I just being crazy and hormonal?
Thanks for listening! sorry for the rant!

ksulli · November 2013

Not alone. I'm a little freaked about how we're going to keep our heads above water with all that needs doing when we have an almost 3yo and a newborn. But, we'll make it work. People do it all the time. The house may become a bit of a disaster, but I'm the only one that will notice.

as for you & your H fighting, I would expect it's just how you're both letting your nerves out. Sit down & talk about it. Just make sure you don't present it as, "you need to do more" and more as, "I'm freaked out about all these changes and need us to be in a good spot"

SuperKim13 · November 2013

I don't have any advice but I wanted to offer you some (((HUGS))). I would imagine it would be normal to experience this turbulence at such a demanding time. I hope you are able to find some time to connect!

OSUWifey09 · November 2013

I feel that way sometimes, too. With a deploying husband, an active little dude in full-day pre-k and a full-time job, I'm starting to freak out about how in the world I'm going to be able to handle things come January. I try not to think about it because it stresses me out so much, but it's also affected my marriage a bit. H and I finally sat down and talked about things, but things were strained between us before we sat down and talked through my concerns. My hope is that you and H can do the same so you can come back on the same page and you can not feel as overwhelmed. **hugs**

MamaWombat · November 2013

(((hugs))) Not having free time together can put a strain on any relationship. Hopefully talking through it will help, and probably time will, too. People I know with multiple children tell me that having a second kid to watch IS more work, but it isn't actually twice as much work; just a little bit more (well, more than a little bit during the newborn period, maybe). So, hang in there and I bet within 6 months after your new baby, you and YH will probably both feel more able to cope.

Mixed feelings

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