I have a name worry

babylimas · November 2013

I'm so convinced on naming him Graham, but last night I realized he'll probably have a speech impediment. That might be cruel if he can't say it! My little Gwam. Now I'm questioning the decision. Haha, I'm so over thinking this.

SmittyPants · November 2013

I LOVE Graham and pushed hard for it. We ultimately decided to name this guy after a family member so we're not using it. I think if you love it, stick with it.

Andreabills · November 2013

LOL! I love Gwam, I vote leave it. Also, I have an 8th grader that still says "hew" instead of "here" during attendance...it doesn't seem to bother him a bit.

wearebirds · November 2013

My husband had a speech impediment when he was younger and had some trouble with his name, but he never had and issues with it (it corrected itself by the time he was in school).

babylimas · November 2013

But on a more practical level - do you think there could be a problem with identifying himself? People understanding what his name is when I'm not with him?

SassyFlats · November 2013

I don't think if he said "Gwam" anyone wouldn't understand "Graham." Speech impediments aren't that uncommon and "Graham" isn't an incredibly uncommon name.

If you love it, I think you should keep it. Things will work themselves out. It's not like you're trying to name him Rory or something. THAT would be so much more difficult assuming he will have trouble with R's.

SassyFlats · November 2013

And now I keep saying "Woah-wee" and over-thinking THAT. @-)

Andreabills · November 2013

babylimas said:
But on a more practical level - do you think there could be a problem with identifying himself? People understanding what his name is when I'm not with him?

I don't really think so, especially if it is someone around kids a lot. I'm a middle school teacher, but I have no problems understanding the little guys who have speech issues. Anyone that he is in contact with in a school/medical environment should be adept enough to understand him.

legallyginger · November 2013

Andreabills said:

But on a more practical level - do you think there could be a problem with identifying himself? People understanding what his name is when I'm not with him?
I don't really think so, especially if it is someone around kids a lot. I'm a middle school teacher, but I have no problems understanding the little guys who have speech issues. Anyone that he is in contact with in a school/medical environment should be adept enough to understand him.

I totally agree. I love the name Graham. I don't think he'll have trouble- most people will understand. And like pp said, you never know what name he could have trouble saying.

Andreabills · November 2013

Also, this whole conversation made me think of this book.

jennybean80 · November 2013

My DS calls himself 'Decwan' or 'Decan' all the time. Most people figure out it's Declan even though it's not a super common name! I say stay with Graham if you love it!

KariB509 · November 2013

If he has a speech problem, most likely he won't have it forever. That's what speech therapy is for. And how often is he going to be saying his own name?

KariB509 · November 2013

Also, DS's name is Owen and for a very short period of time he pronounced it "O-MEN" but now he can say it correctly. Now sometimes I just call him Omen because it was so adorable lol

babylimas · November 2013

KariB509 said:
If he has a speech problem, most likely he won't have it forever. That's what speech therapy is for. And how often is he going to be saying his own name?

I have been reading and he is likely to have one forever with the physical differences. (Likely hearing problems and the thickened tongue.) I know he'll be in speech therapy starting early. Obviously I don't know anything until he's here and even until he grows up and we see the extent of his capabilities. It's just an easy thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things.

ladyglittersparkles · November 2013

I think if you love it keep it!
Graham is fairly common name so I believe he and others will pronounce it correctly. And not that my opinion matters but I love the name

talitha712 · November 2013

I wouldn't worry about that if you love the name. And for what it's worth "r" is a later developing sound - usually develops by age 6. So if your little guy doesn't have it right away don't worry. And speech therapists are there for a reason if need be. Articulation problems are usually no big deal to correct, especially if caught early.

Drhonor · November 2013

I love Graham! And I just know that he will too

You are an awesome momma thinking about these things for him.

pepperedmoth · November 2013

Hmmmmm. I think you're right that with the speech production problems that often go with Down's the R MIGHT not be fixable. (OTOH, it might!) Whatever decision you make, I'd do it with the adult Graham in mind rather than the child Graham.

Either way, Graham is really a very lovely name that any child would be blessed to have.

cdnmomma · November 2013

I love graham and think Gwam is quite endearing.

pepperedmoth · November 2013

babylimas said:

KariB509 said:
If he has a speech problem, most likely he won't have it forever. That's what speech therapy is for. And how often is he going to be saying his own name?
I have been reading and he is likely to have one forever with the physical differences. (Likely hearing problems and the thickened tongue.) I know he'll be in speech therapy starting early. Obviously I don't know anything until he's here and even until he grows up and we see the extent of his capabilities. It's just an easy thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things.

Hah, I'm sure! You have what my social worker/therapist BFF would call "great insight."

And seriously, if this is your coping mechanism right now, it's not a bad one! It's nice to worry about things you can actually CHANGE. We could come up with a list for you: "SOLVABLE problems to think about in the middle of the night."

babylimas · November 2013

pepperedmoth said:

babylimas said:

KariB509 said:
If he has a speech problem, most likely he won't have it forever. That's what speech therapy is for. And how often is he going to be saying his own name?
I have been reading and he is likely to have one forever with the physical differences. (Likely hearing problems and the thickened tongue.) I know he'll be in speech therapy starting early. Obviously I don't know anything until he's here and even until he grows up and we see the extent of his capabilities. It's just an easy thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things.
Hah, I'm sure! You have what my social worker/therapist BFF would call "great insight."

And seriously, if this is your coping mechanism right now, it's not a bad one! It's nice to worry about things you can actually CHANGE. We could come up with a list for you: "SOLVABLE problems to think about in the middle of the night."

Ha! I love it. I need a list. I need things to DO. I'm a girl of action.

pepperedmoth · November 2013

If it'd legit be helpful for you, I bet one (or more) your docs can help with the list. I actually do that with my patients fairly frequently. They have a medical problem that feels emotionally overwhelming (from losing bladder control to having their cancer recur). I ask them what their big fears really are around the issue --- to break down what they're worried ABOUT. Then we break those down into elements we can work on and elements that we can't change.

Even a fear of one's own death is usually a fear of specific things (pain, loss of dignity, children being OK on their own, etc), many of which are solvable or at least alterable in some way.

katykatykaty · November 2013

pepperedmoth said:
If it'd legit be helpful for you, I bet one (or more) your docs can help with the list. I actually do that with my patients fairly frequently. They have a medical problem that feels emotionally overwhelming (from losing bladder control to having their cancer recur). I ask them what their big fears really are around the issue --- to break down what they're worried ABOUT. Then we break those down into elements we can work on and elements that we can't change.

Even a fear of one's own death is usually a fear of specific things (pain, loss of dignity, children being OK on their own, etc), many of which are solvable or at least alterable in some way.

I love Graham and would still use the name if I was you.

Also, I use this method when I'm stressed or worried about something and it always makes me feel better, so I highly recommend it.

SassyFlats · November 2013

Focusing on things you can control is definitely a great use of your energy. With everything out of your hands, I could never blame you for turning to things you can affect.

@Pepperedmoth has some great insight-- you should totally talk to your doctor about the things you can do something about. Just so you can focus on those things and take action where possible.

You're going to get through this!

Yenemous · November 2013

I agree with pp that people will know he means Graham even if he does have a little trouble with it. If you love it, keep it. It is a great name after all!

NortyLeigh · November 2013

This cracks me up because my son's name is Graham and this thought never crossed my mind. My husband's biggest worry in naming him Graham was that kids in school would call him Graham cracker!

I agree with everyone else, if you love it (and I sure do!) don't worry about how he will say it. Many kids can't say their names correctly when they are young. My
Nickname as a kid was Norty because I couldn't say my name for a long time and thought my name was Norty instead of Courtney!

ETA: correction

[Deleted User] · November 2013

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babylimas · November 2013

Thanks everyone.

His full name will be Graham James, so we figure if he's unable to pronounce we can just start calling him G or even James. Like everyone said, it doesn't really matter until he's an adult so I shouldn't worry too much.

carrieandtim · November 2013

I think Graham is beautiful. And I love Gwam.

(My daughter calls herself Babby...instead of Abby right now. Most adorable thing.)

EmmetsMom · November 2013

I love the name Graham! Go for it! My husband had a speech impediment as a kid and got speech therapy. He doesn't have any issues anymore. Btw... His name is Tyler, or as he would have sad back then, Tyworw!

NortyLeigh · November 2013

TallAsh said:
@babylimas, I think Graham is awesome, but we can create a task force to come up with a different, yet similar name if needed.

@pepperedmoth, you are awesome. Can we be friends?

@NortyLeigh, that is adorable. My mom used to baby-sit a little girl who called herself Jeffiner, as she was unable to pronounce Jennifer. Kids are so stinking cute.

Haha! I love kids! My best friend in college, also a Jennifer, called herself Niffer as a kid for the same reason. We still sign cards to each other as Niffer and Norty.

I have a name worry

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