MIL Vent — The Bump
December 2013 Moms

MIL Vent

GRR! DH and I were just at his mother's house for a late Thanksgiving celebration. Whenever we go over there, we are always expecting a small family gathering, but she always invites strangers over (parents of her stepson's classmates, etc.) Well tonight was no exception. So what we thought would be a chill and relaxing night ended up being a little more stressful. At the end of the night, she informs us that she is going to let her ER nurse-friend, who works at the hospital that we are delivering at, know when we are delivering so her friend can be the first "great aunt" (again, this person is not related to us in anyway) ... to come visit us after delivery. I was so mad that she felt like she had the right to invite this person into our hospital room I almost screamed, but managed to leave without starting a confrontation. However, I am already planning my strongly worded text to her, letting her know she has no right to invite anyone into our room during our stay at the hospital. I want my freaking privacy after I give birth, and I certainly don't want to feel uncomfortable because of people who are practically strangers popping into visit us. GAH! Sorry for the rant. I'm just so annoyed right now.

Re: MIL Vent

  • This definitely crossed boundaries. Sorry.
    Rainbow Baby born 12/14/13

  • You may need to sit and lay out some ground rules for her - I don't know if a strongly worded text is the way to go.  I would make your stance abundantly clear and leave no room for interpretation.


  • Ya no. And just so you can add it to your strongly worded text that nurse has zero business knowing where you are based on HIPPA as she has no reason to be included in your care or that of your baby. She should know that.



  • Tell your nurses you would like to approve vistors before they come into the room. No exceptions.

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    Pregnancy Ticker
    kimvpthompson[Deleted User]
  • Wow! So proud of you for not throat punching her right then and there. Of course you don't want a perfect stranger to come visit!? Who would!?
  • That's not cool and just tell the nurses to keep them out if it comes to that. 

    BUT, if she always invites people over why in the world would you expect any different tonight? LOL That's silly.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
    There is another kid, she's 10... 
  • My MIL told my SIL's boyfriends mother to come visit us when my DD was born since she works in the hospital where we delivered. I had met this woman maybe twice before. My plan this time is to just not tell anyone except our parents and we've told them if they tell anyone else they will be banned haha. Sorry you have to deal, but you are not alone :)
  • I know she has the right to invite who she wants. She just always makes it sound like it's just going to be family, and then when we get there all these strangers keep showing up. I felt less crazy about being annoyed over that this time because DH's grandmother, sister, and aunt were all hiding out in a separate room this evening cuz there were so many strangers. That wasn't even what set me off because I do partially expect that when we go over there. It was just icing on the cake to the news that she planned to have her nurse friend visiting us at our hospital room.

    Also, we always communicate via text so that's why I'm planning that ... However, I should probably grow a pair and either give her a call or sit down and have a serious conversation about it. I just don't feel like talking to her right now. And I know DH will do it if I ask him to... But I'm worried he'll be too nice about it.

    Thanks for the support. I just needed a freak-out moment before I try and deal with this like a mature adult.

  • That's just weird and way over the line! All the MIL's are going over the deep end!!!!! :-SS
    kimvpthompson[Deleted User]
  • I'm pretty sure that nurse can't just walk up into another dept randomly and visit someone she isn't related to anyways. My mom works at a hospital and even though she has worked there for 30+ years she can't just strut into another dept. even when it is family. I was at the er at her hospital once and she works in another dept and she had a hard time coming to me then, and she is my mom.

    As for guests at thanksgiving, it's her house and she can invite who she wants. Clearly they are friends if they actually come for dinner.. Her house, her guests...
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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