Easier when they are born?

Jenyoung5 · November 2013

This pregnancy has been really tough for me. It's my 5th one and my body is just not taking all the pains, excessive tiredness, gestational diabetes, and emotional stress of size discordance very well. I keep thinking and hoping that once I have my body back and can move and sit and have energy that I can handle the sleep deprevation that comes with twins. My brother in law and sil, who had twins, keep telling me that it is way harder when they come out. Please tell me if you feel it was better once the babies were born. I have 3 daughters that will love to hold babies for me and lots of friends that can't wait to come hold babies!

Kissimi21 · November 2013

It is and it isn't. It's a different kind of hard once they're out. You will have your body back, which is great because there will be less aches and pains, but you will still be exhausted from caring for two newborns. The stress will still be there, again it's just different. Think back to your other children's newborn stages, then double it. The good news is that it does get better, you just need ride it out.

angie637 · November 2013

It was alot harder once they were born for me. Having 3 under is quite a juggling act at times

chickaboo1974 · November 2013

I was a FTM- and my guys were in the NICU for 17 days- but I have to say that it was not all that bad. It just takes some time to find a schedule that works for you and your family. My guys were super easy babies- STTN at 12 weeks, no feeding issues, no colic, and while Nick had reflux it was mild and manageable with meds. As every pregnancy is different every baby is and every set of twins are different.

All I can say is that I would gladly go back to when my guys were infants- they are now 3 and a handful of energy and personalities.

ks3pink · November 2013

As someone who had a lot of sickness and pain during my multiples pregnancy I'll say it was easier. It wears you out but at least you can eat and are not in pain with every little movement. Don't get me wrong it's not a walk on the park but it's also not the end of the world. And the older they get the easier it gets. Right now I sitting here bumping while they take toys our is bins, stack them on the couch, then put them back in. They're pretty self sufficient when it comes to play time now

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raraavis28 · November 2013

Kissimi21 said:

It is and it isn't. It's a different kind of hard once they're out. You will have your body back, which is great because there will be less aches and pains, but you will still be exhausted from caring for two newborns. The stress will still be there, again it's just different. Think back to your other children's newborn stages, then double it. The good news is that it does get better, you just need ride it out.

All this! Since you already have kiddos, and some help available, you will probably find it easier. A twin pregnancy is hard on your body, and the emotional stress can be even worse (my twins also had a size discordance, and I felt like I couldn't relax until they were in my arms....). Hang in there....this part of the journey will be over soon.

carrotcake06 · November 2013

Kissimi21 said:
It is and it isn't. It's a different kind of hard once they're out. You will have your body back, which is great because there will be less aches and pains, but you will still be exhausted from caring for two newborns. The stress will still be there, again it's just different. Think back to your other children's newborn stages, then double it. The good news is that it does get better, you just need ride it out.

I agree. Their birth was rough and my c/s recovery was not easy and I feel so uncomfortable in my post-preg body that having them out was no walk in the park. But it gets incrementally easier each week and once you get past the first 3 months, it's much better especially because they aren't your first and you know what to expect.

lwatkins12 · December 2013

Having the twins out is much harder for me. Almost 6 weeks PP and my incision still isn't healed and I still have bruises on my stomach from the c section. I had to wear a wound vac for two weeks and my husband had to change my wound dressing before that twice a day. And now I have colicky twins. This has basically been all my worst fears come true. My husband goes back to work Monday and it'll be just me and I'm dreading it since he works a lot of evenings when the babies are their fussiest. I miss being able to take a nap anytime I want and taking a shower without hearing screaming babies as soon as I turn off the water.

LottaLattes · December 2013

I think it depends a lot on how old your other kids are, tbh. I think the pregnancy was super hard, but it was a different hard altogether with two newborns. My body felt better but it was hard to survive there a while. My older kids were 7 and 10, and while they weren't completely dependent on me for everything, they are still kids and opening and closing the door 1,000 times an hour, and bickering, and all that. I felt a lot of pain the last few weeks but it was easier to me to be able to just sit when I wanted, which you can't with babies.

Good luck! My physical pains went away pretty quickly at least!

bumpuser924057 · December 2013

It's a different kind of hard, for sure. You couldn't pay me enough to relive that last three weeks of pregnancy. That initial relief is pretty quickly overshadowed by how hard your life becomes once they start hitting those first few growth spurts.

Felicity86 · December 2013

For me, having two newborns was much harder than my pregnancy. However, I only made it to 36 weeks and was not huge. They were also my first babies and I felt totally unprepared. Since you already have children, I would guess it would be easier for you. Good luck!

CaliCarly77 · December 2013

Yeah still pregnant here too and in my last 4 1/2 weeks - and haven't slept well now for a while and having heart burn so bad even with prescription meds I almost throw up after meals. I'm also working so I am exhausted from that and getting ready for the holidays. I know it will be hard to have two babies, but at least my husband can take over for a bit and let me sleep. I also know the first few weeks after will be painful as my body goes back to normal (my cousin just had twins and said it was awful) so not sure when I will get to sleep again but hopefully soon! But frankly just having a pain free moment would be nice with B's head out of my ribs and my belly not feeling like its going to rip off my body.

LottaLattes · December 2013

Uh, I'm a little confused why people assume it is easier if you are not a FTM? The experience was nice but didn't mean everything was a cake walk just because of having other kids that, you know, you also have to take care of. I successfully BF #2, but totally couldn't figure it out with twins.

Just kind of rubbing me the wrong way. Having 4 kids is amazing but not easy by any means.

LottaLattes · December 2013

I think it is along the lines of saying it would be easier to have your twins at 32 weeks and get to keep them in the NICU while you adjust. I am under no delusion that that would be I just get the comparison, nor do I really feel it a compliment for someone to tell me how easy I had it, compared to their lot. All that experience didn't make it easier except for the single fact I knew how to cloth diaper already. That was way easier, all that other singleton parenting wasn't very relevant with two.

s0ulchicken · December 2013

OP, it is hard. Not going to lie. There are nights that turn to day that feel like they will never end. There are baby things everywhere, and older kids that need you too. The level of exhaustion is something I cannot adequately express. But somewhere in there, it stops being about surviving, and becomes enjoyable. Is it hard? Hell yes. Is it worth it? Without a doubt.

The first months are hard. But eventually the dust settles and you get a routine in place, up your coffee intake and find a new normal.

Good luck! You can do this!

CaliCarly77 · December 2013

LottaLattes said:

I think it is along the lines of saying it would be easier to have your twins at 32 weeks and get to keep them in the NICU while you adjust. I am under no delusion that that would be I just get the comparison, nor do I really feel it a compliment for someone to tell me how easy I had it, compared to their lot. All that experience didn't make it easier except for the single fact I knew how to cloth diaper already. That was way easier, all that other singleton parenting wasn't very relevant with two.

I think it depends on the situation - my mom had my younger siblings when I was 12 and my sister was 9 (they are 18 months apart) so she had two tweens excitedly willing to do everything (hold, diaper, bathe, put to sleep, feed, even babysit shortly thereafter) so yeah, it was probably easier for her with them than with us. But if you have 4 all needing mom and no tween aged helpers, then forget it. My in real life twin mom friend has a 3 year old and we discussed just this exact thing - I was thanking god these were my 1 and 2 and she was thanking god she had already been there, done that, with her son. My thinking was that there was no way I could handle twins and a toddler, and she was thinking how impossible it would be to learn on the fly with twins. We shall see in a few weeks, I guess!!

bumpuser924057 · December 2013

LottaLattes said:

Uh, I'm a little confused why people assume it is easier if you are not a FTM? The experience was nice but didn't mean everything was a cake walk just because of having other kids that, you know, you also have to take care of. I successfully BF #2, but totally couldn't figure it out with twins. Just kind of rubbing me the wrong way. Having 4 kids is amazing but not easy by any means.

I get what you're saying, and like many things I think it is both easier and harder in some ways. My son had just turned two when the babies were born, and as hard as it is to take care of all three (and it is hard as hell, I don't want to downplay that), I am a much more relaxed mom than I was the first time around because I know more about what's important and what isn't, and what's normal and what's not. That experience does help tremendously when dealing with two babies at once. I do get help with the toddler a few days a week, so that does make things easier.

LottaLattes · December 2013

I can totally get down with "helpful to have prior mothering experience" but "easier" is just the wrong way to look at it. It is hard for all of us.

somewhereincali · December 2013

I think it's easier after than before for a STM because as a FTM before they were born I had nothing I had to do and could lay around all day long napping and sleeping, I may not have slept well all night but I got enough sleep and just relaxed. It was much harder after they were born
I imagine that a mom with other kids wouldn't have that luxury what with having other kids that need them.

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