Military Families

My husband is thinking of joining the Air Force.

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Re: My husband is thinking of joining the Air Force.

  • Housing is a lot nicer than Army housing. I am an army spouse so I don't have a lot of information about the Air Force.
  • Lol!!!! It affects every single part of your life. But that doesn't make it bad. You have to roll with the punches. I wouldn't want it any other way. Good luck!!
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  • I'm going to approach this from a slightly different angle -- I'm the one on active duty, the one who deploys, and the one who is pregnant. I've also been married twice, Marriage: military marriages can have a more challenges. I think the biggest ones are being apart (for training or deployment) and frequent moves (which could take you away from friends and family). If you aren't both easily adaptable to this, then I would be a little nervous about joining the military. Keep in mind there is TONS of support for military members and families. My first husband couldn't deal with me being gone a lot (and couldn't deal with my long work hours) and had trouble finding any job advancement for himself. We're not together anymore. My current husband handles this all a lot better. He understands that In ever WANT to be away from home, but that. I still have to anyway. We make it a priority to go home to see our families when we can, and use skype a lot to stay connected. As for pregnancy, I'm lucky because free health care is amazing. And I'm getting really good care. Wen I go back to work, we will weigh the options of h staying home, or using the base child care center, depending on his job situation. I shouldn't have to deploy for a while after baby, so we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Big picture, being a military family requires that you be flexible and find alternate solutions. If you're going to be apart on your anniversary, then celebrate early! Try to have a skype date. If you're stationed in some remote place far away from your family, then make new friends and get involved. People make lifelong friends in the military :-) and you can travel home or skype home when you get homesick. It just takes a little bit of adventurousness, flexibility, and problem-solving.
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  • A lot seems to depend on MOS and where you are and what you are used to/where you saw your life. I haven't lived really close to family for most of my adult years, so we have a savings account for an emergency plane ticket and we visit about 4 times a year (right now we're about 11 hours away by car). I'm okay with this because I never figured I'd stay right by family, but there are still times it gets to me (my grandmother is 91, and it's harder leaving her every time even though she's in great health). If I had always thought that I'd live right near my family, it would probably be more of a shock to my system. We're also lucky that since H's MOS is a really small career field and he works at a headquarters, we generally get pretty good advance notice of things like TDYs and PCSs. He also doesn't have huge problems taking leave. However, that could change with a different command. H commissioned out of ROTC and we met while he was finishing college, so I always knew that the Air Force was going to be part of who he is, and I had a little time to research and adjust. All in all, I've enjoyed it so far (H has been in just over 3 years). We do live in base housing and the housing on this base is pretty excellent. That's really on a base by base basis and also depends on if you're looking at buying a home (H and I have decided we won't buy until he's out). TTC has been a long road, but we're lucky that H is stationed on a joint base where there is a great MTF and it contains a good OB/RE clinic that we can use. It's great for us now that we're looking at testing a treatment to be able to go there. The only thing is that now if/when I get pregnant we may be looking at H being gone for part of the pregnancy if he chooses to take a deployment next year, which also puts us in a little more crunch-time for getting testing done. We're both okay with that, at this point we want a baby inconvenient or not.



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    **Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
    **Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
    Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
    SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
    HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
    Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
     9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
    BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
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  • My husband enlisted last January, it has been a huge life change, but we have been really happy with things so far.  We live in base housing, love our house, and feel like this has been the right move for our family.  If your husband is interested in security forces he could pretty much be stationed at any base, so be prepared for that.  My husband's career field is much more limited (maybe 3-5 options) so we have a really good idea where we are going next.

    He would start by going to basic at Lackland and do his tech school there as well if he is given security forces (you will be separated for several months, possibly only seeing each other at bmt graduation), the wait to go to basic might be a long time right now, they are being extremely picky and have lots of people already waiting to be shipped.

    If you have any specific questions, I would be happy to try to help.

     

     

  • Because quoting is stupid for me right now, I want to second in a big way @AFwifelife 's last paragraph. Make where you are your home, even if it's for a short time. After we first moved to the city we live in now (we were off-base for a little over a year) I was dealing with some (non-H being in the military) depression and H went on his TDY. I didn't unpack for a month or so and I honestly think it made me feel a lot worse. A very dear friend saw what was happening and came over to help me unpack and it did help my mental state a lot. So when we first moved to our house on base I made it a priority to unpack and get organized ASAP.



    TTC #1 since 11/2012
    Me-31, H-27
    **Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
    **Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
    Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
    SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
    HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
    Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
     9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
    BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
     U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
    U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
    U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!
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  • My husband is in pilot training as well with the AF. We've been so blessed with amazing supportive military friends being stationed here and that really has made being away from family much easier (we are about 24 hours away from home). It does influence timing and decisions around kids and I am currently sleeping in the nursery and getting up with LO on weekdays alone so DH can get adequate sleep with flying. It was definitly hard at first because DH only got one day of leave when DS was born and I had a csection but our friends helped me and family came to visit and help. I was nervous he would miss out on bonding with the baby with all his hours away but he really makes sure to spend time with him when he is home- even if it's just for an hour before we put LO down. Overall I wouldn't trade anything for our military experience and the family we have here at our base.
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  • Be careful.  MPs are one of the most highly deployed career fields in the AF last I checked.
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  • It honestly depends. Speaking from a mil-mil marriage, it can suck, especially the being apart...part. But at the same time, they do tend to take care of you a lot more. It also depends on where you are. Some bases are great and very "user-friendly." I've only been stationed at two...Tyndall for training and now Tinker, and I can tell you with Tyndall, the base was awesome. It was on its own peninsula and secluded so they had to have more stuff to do on base than maybe a few others. Tinker is surrounded by everything so there's not much to do on base (the theater is closed, for example, and they're threatening to close a few other things), and there is a lot of bureaucracy compared to Tyndall. However, Panama City isn't the greatest of places, but Oklahoma City, is a fast-growing actually-kind-of-a-city! There's stuff to do off base that we didn't have in Florida.

    But I digress... The bottom line is, make the best of it. As PP have said, don't resign yourself to moving every few years. Enjoy the time you have in that place. Make friends. Keep in contact with them even after you move. Eventually you'll find that you've forged friendships that'll last forever and they live on the other side of the country. Be strong. Deployments seem to go on and on for both of you, but it's worth it when you see him walking through the gate lauded with cheers and you get to hug and kiss him. Distance making the heart grow fonder may sound so cliche'd but it's actually quite true. There are Skype opportunities while he's downrange and even phone calls.

    If nothing else think of it like this. You, as a family, have a stable income and decent support with medical coverage and the option to live on base, etc--and you not only get to be proud of your husband for serving, but you get to be a party to friendships and spouse groups that you'd never have otherwise.
    Married since *7/13/2012* to my soulmate!

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  • hlm184 said:
    Be careful.  MPs are one of the most highly deployed career fields in the AF last I checked.
    OP, everyone deploys at some point in their career (other than if there is medical issues, etc.).  I wouldn't choose a MOS based on deployment schedule alone.  First and foremost, YH should choose something that he enjoys doing and feels fulfilled doing it.  I don't know much about the SF community (in the AF, they are Security Forces, not MPs), but you might be able to find FB groups of SF wives/SOs or some other online forum is no one here is familiar with the SF community.  If you do find something of the sort, ask a ton of questions about the community and lifestyle.  Start to build up a support system now because there is a good chance you will run into a few of those ladies down the road (although being SF you could be stationed at nearly any base).
    Obviously everyone deploys and one shouldn't pick a job based only on deployment tempo, but it is definitely something to be aware of.  I believe that job is in the same tempo band as my husbands and there is a big difference between being deployed for 4 months out of 24 (what the deployment tempo was when DH joined) and being deployed 1:1, which it is now, has been for several years, and will be for the foreseeable future.
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