Did this help you?

lolasmit · October 2013

I've been reading Spiritual Midwifery, and in most of the stories the husbands touched their wives in their breasts or vagina. Does that actually help? Did that help for any of you who have delivered naturally? Does it help to relax you? I am jsut curious if it would make you sexually aroused or ..just HOW does it help with labor and delivery?

aylafsu88 · October 2013

I briefly read about this as well. It may be helpful to some women but it really was not my style. When I was in labor the last thing I thought about was touching. I also felt pretty gross as a lot of stuff was coming out. I will say that I would have considered nipple stimulation if needed to get labor going or pick it back up.

lolasmit · October 2013

Thank you. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking that I doubt I will want to be touched at all.

barnwife · October 2013

The only way I want DH touching me in labor (it's been true in all 3 cases) is applying counterpressure to my back. With J. (first delivery), my MW tried to apply hot compresses between contractions. Every single time she tried, I snapped at her to get away. She said she's never had another women be as vehemently against it (her putting them on was so distracting to my concentration).

Yeah, touching my breasts or vagina during labor would probably be a good way for DH to get kicked out of the room.

rooftop · October 2013

I've read that it can help by stimulating blood flow but if I want to try that I would do it myself. My hubby helped with counter pressure as baby crowned but that was the closest to "sexual" touching he did during that time.

insertclevername · October 2013

I definitely had no desire for my husband to touch my breast or vagina while in labor. I might have punched him had he tried to do that. The only touching I was ok with was him holding one leg and the nurse holding the other leg while I pushed.

sschwege · October 2013

I could definitely see how it would help some women. I mean some things help some women and other things help others. For example the bath was pure heaven for me with my first, but I know other mothers don't like it at all. I think that's just what it boils down to.

The only touching I wanted was for DH to do counter pressure on my lower back. I know my MW did perineal massage right before crowning with my first and I hated it. So I don't think that would have been the right approach for me. It's good to go into labor knowing what all of your options are for natural forms of pain relief, then when the time comes you will know what is right for you

HannahsHope · October 2013

Definitely didn't want his hands on me in that way. Nipple simulation worked for me, but just getting in the shower and letting the water do the work, worked for me!

natalie202 · October 2013

Yeah, I've done two natural births now and at no point during either would I have wanted that kind of touch. I'm not even a fan of gentle stroking or other soft touches... I find them distracting in a non-helpful way. I like steady counter pressure and firm massage on the places contractions are causing the most trouble (lower back or overly tense shoulders). That being said, every woman is different, so your mileage may vary. :-)

rayandbrit · October 2013

I did not want to be touched at all, esp not sexually. I'm not a very "touchy" person in general though. In fact, I kind of just wanted to do my own thing, maybe that's weird? I was busy getting the older kids ready for the day, fixing breakfast, etc. and was very content doing that and not being "bothered."

Every person is so different, it's really hard to say what will work for you until you're in the moment. It's good to gather all these ideas & info though so you have an arsenal full of comfort techniques as needed

lolasmit · October 2013

Wow, that's awesome. I am definitely try to get as many "pain management" ideas as I possibly can and my husband is reading/listening as well. I really don't think that I will want to be sexually touched, but I can definitely see laboring in a tub helping. It sucks that I won't know these things until I am in the moment.

potbellypig · November 2013

This is a little embarrassing, but here it goes...

I had a water birth so no one else could see (or so I think), but I read the same thing and between transition and pushing I did my own vaginal stimulation to keep my mind off of the pain.

It helped, partly because it kept my mind off of things, partly because I felt so ridiculous I was giggling inside.

lolasmit · November 2013

Wow, that's awesome. I am definitely try to get as many "pain management" ideas as I possibly can and my husband is reading/listening as well. I really don't think that I will want to be sexually touched, but I can definitely see laboring in a tub helping. It sucks that I won't know these things until I am in the moment.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

We did nipple stimulation in the tub after I was at 10. My contractions slowed to about 10 minutes apart for about an hour. I don't think it did all that much, and it was awkward. It's supposed to stimulate oxytocin to speed up contractions, but honestly, I couldn't relax enough while it was happening to think it really did anything. I was just thinking about my nurse and my friend/doula on the other side of the curtain the whole time, and thinking about them trying not to think about my husband touching my nipples five feet away. Opposite of sexy. Maybe at home if we were alone in the room it would have done more. The only thing that got labor back on track was my water finally breaking.

*LrCg* · December 2013

DH and I arm wrestled. I read about it in one of Ina May's books and it REALLY helped. My midwife believes its why I have such fast labors. The theory is you wrestle during contractions and it prevents you from cinching up and therefore you dilate faster.

lolasmit · December 2013

That's awesome. Hopefully, we can figure out what would be best for us to make things move along smoothly and avoid a c-section.

Sawyerplus1 · December 2013

I think it would be helpful IF you were into it. It would get the endorphines and blood flowing, and could relax you, which could really move things along. (It would be effective to do this on your own too.) But if you and/or DH isn't comfortable with it, then it is probably not as effective.

Out of 3 natural births DH and I have never done this, but now with #4, a home birth, I joke with DH that we'll kick the MWs out of our room and get to business to get the baby born

lrj85 · December 2013

I had a high intervention hospital birth with my first so this was never presented to me as an option. Now I am a lot more educated and having a possible home birth and def natural birth. I find it incredibly relaxing to kiss my husband and have him touch me. Our plan in early labor is to have sex and use nipple stimulation and for this reason I will probably wait to call our Doula till I am ready to go to the hospital. I want the option to have ALONE time with my husband. I know the whole orgasmic birth thing sounds weird at first but I totally get it and I really think its situational and personal. My husband and I Have a very touchy relationship and we also have a very private birth plan. I can understand this might be uncomfortable for someone in a hospital setting with 15 strangers in the room.

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