Babies on the Brain
lindsayl88
member
STMs
lindsayl88
member
I am looking for some perspective from mothers who have 2 children or more.
DS is 3 months old and he is our first child. DH and I are already considering TTC again (possibly sometime in the next year or two). How close are your children in age ? Do you wish they were closer together in age or the opposite? Other than the obvious what would you say is the biggest change transitioning from 1 child to 2 (or more)?
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Re: STMs
The hardest part for me was the guilt of feeling like I wasn't giving more time to DD1. DD2 was very colicky and had reflux and mspi issues. However as DD2 has gotten older she is far less demanding and I don't carry that guilt. Now I am just exhausted because they always seem to want to run opposite directions.
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
I was out with a friend whose in her third trimester now and she has a little girl my sons age. She needs socialization, she's impulsive and runs off, etc and my friend has constantly chase her. People seem to say bigger gaps are easier but I don't know if I agree. I was glad When i felt like crap i could park my butt on the couch in 3rd tri with a kid who was content to hang out playing with toys vs keeping up with keeping a preschooler busy schedule. I think if I had the choice I'd do under two years or over five years when your oldest goes to school so you get time to rest.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It is hectic and crazy and people give me a look of either bewilderment or endearment when I am out with all 3 but it works for us.
We had planned on having a big family(4-6kids) before medical issues and my husband is 8 years older than me so we figured we'd just hurry up and have them so we could enjoy raising them.
Some days its nuts but right now my 4 1/2 and 3 year old are snuggled in a recliner having breakfast talking about how they are best friends and our 1 1/2 year old is still sleeping. They all play together really well and the older they get the easier it is.
Don't get me wrong, I love them SO much and they are bundles of fun (and quite easy to say the least), but I really feel like I missed out sometimes. I never get a whole lot of 1 on 1 time with them and I feel like since they are both at that age where they are 100% dependent on me, I can't really get to know them individually. And someone is always interrupting me.
I would have loved to spend 3 or so years just playing and getting to know my LO before adding another addition. And not only will they be more independent when the new LO comes around, but 3-5 years is still very close in age. They'll spend more of their lifetime as adults and when you're 24+ a 2-5 year age gap doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
Think long term too, will you be financially capable of helping pay for two colleges with only a year of space between the kids? How about cars, vacations, band trips etc.
Do you think you'll enjoy having to possibly skip one child's school activity to go to the others?
All things to think about. This is why my H and I decided to wait between kids. Apparently the man upstairs had different plans for us haha