Georgia Babies
ebearwife
member
Children and Weddings
ebearwife
member
This post is more of a vent than anything else. I'm not pregnant either. LOL!
So, my cousin is getting married next July and he is my "favorite" cousin that I grew up with. He is getting discharged from the military and marrying a nice girl in a prominent Buckhead family. Their wedding will more than likely be the fanciest and most well attended by society than any I will ever go to ever. I do not want to miss this wedding. My aunt informed me that children would more than likely not be welcome at the wedding. I understand this - to a point. I don't have unlimited childcare options and half my options are attending the wedding (my children will be 4 and 6). My mother in law and father in law are not in the best health and I don't really want to put this on them. I am working on some options but it may be taking the kids may be the only viable option. I just do not understand why kids are not welcome at weddings - which are family affairs. Period. I don't really want to take them and I am not being contradictory in saying so. Of course I would prefer a romantic getaway for two over corralling my kids all weekend but I want to see my cousin get married over all else. Here is why this policy is rubbing me the wrong way. First, I have never seen a kid ruin a wedding ever. Adults ruin weddings (routinely) and you cannot guarantee the behavior of any human all the time. Kids misbehavior is usually written off as - they are kids and their parents are handling it. Adults usually end up causing a massive scene or worse when they get out of hand particularly when drinking is involved. Most kids are barely noticed at weddings and generally only make their parents miserable because they aren't as able to let loose. So what gives? Second, my family has tolerated and included children at every single previous wedding without exception. Third, my cousins (his sisters) both have or will have children - one of which will be a newborn.. Are they bringing them? Are they being forced to leave their baby? Ridiculous. And also note that my six year old niece is his goddaughter. My sister did this tremendous honor of making him a godfather. So is he excluding her too? I would understand if it is the facility policy but I doubt it since the reception is in a barn facility. Its definitely not a financial concern in this case.
I feel like this is a sweet reasonable girl and I am hoping she will not draw a hard line on this. I understand fully that if I do bring my kids they will need to be on better than best behavior or else.
And by the way I think that the "My Day My Way" policy smacks of bridezilla and ungraciousness so you can comment with that but I think its impolite and breeds unnecessary (long lasting) hostility - particularly with family. People never forget how you made them feel - especially on your wedding day and I think brides tend to take too wide a berth and forget this. Excluding guests or making them uncomfortable because of children issues they cannot control is rude. Hostesses have the responsibility of making guests feel welcome. And most importantly there will come a day when they will want/need some understanding due to their childcare issues.
So, my cousin is getting married next July and he is my "favorite" cousin that I grew up with. He is getting discharged from the military and marrying a nice girl in a prominent Buckhead family. Their wedding will more than likely be the fanciest and most well attended by society than any I will ever go to ever. I do not want to miss this wedding. My aunt informed me that children would more than likely not be welcome at the wedding. I understand this - to a point. I don't have unlimited childcare options and half my options are attending the wedding (my children will be 4 and 6). My mother in law and father in law are not in the best health and I don't really want to put this on them. I am working on some options but it may be taking the kids may be the only viable option. I just do not understand why kids are not welcome at weddings - which are family affairs. Period. I don't really want to take them and I am not being contradictory in saying so. Of course I would prefer a romantic getaway for two over corralling my kids all weekend but I want to see my cousin get married over all else. Here is why this policy is rubbing me the wrong way. First, I have never seen a kid ruin a wedding ever. Adults ruin weddings (routinely) and you cannot guarantee the behavior of any human all the time. Kids misbehavior is usually written off as - they are kids and their parents are handling it. Adults usually end up causing a massive scene or worse when they get out of hand particularly when drinking is involved. Most kids are barely noticed at weddings and generally only make their parents miserable because they aren't as able to let loose. So what gives? Second, my family has tolerated and included children at every single previous wedding without exception. Third, my cousins (his sisters) both have or will have children - one of which will be a newborn.. Are they bringing them? Are they being forced to leave their baby? Ridiculous. And also note that my six year old niece is his goddaughter. My sister did this tremendous honor of making him a godfather. So is he excluding her too? I would understand if it is the facility policy but I doubt it since the reception is in a barn facility. Its definitely not a financial concern in this case.
I feel like this is a sweet reasonable girl and I am hoping she will not draw a hard line on this. I understand fully that if I do bring my kids they will need to be on better than best behavior or else.
And by the way I think that the "My Day My Way" policy smacks of bridezilla and ungraciousness so you can comment with that but I think its impolite and breeds unnecessary (long lasting) hostility - particularly with family. People never forget how you made them feel - especially on your wedding day and I think brides tend to take too wide a berth and forget this. Excluding guests or making them uncomfortable because of children issues they cannot control is rude. Hostesses have the responsibility of making guests feel welcome. And most importantly there will come a day when they will want/need some understanding due to their childcare issues.
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Re: Children and Weddings
And really
We had a similar situation a few years ago and we traveled for a wedding had to pay for a hotel and everything. I wound up sitting in the hotel room with L while DH enjoyed the wedding. It sucked. I pushed to bring L and the bride has held a grudge since and it became this stupid drama. It's just not worth it.
I'll be honest, we went to a wedding in May and kids weren't allowed, and it was kind of nice it being just DH and I. I was pregnant, so I couldn't drink, but it was nice not having to keep up with a little person the whole night and just be able to relax.
Abigail Taylor 09.18.2008
Well, the good news is I have confirmation of help from my ILs family and I am really excited about a romantic wedding weekend where I am not obligated by wedding party duties and I am not pregnant. But I still have a scared feeling that somebody will fall through and things will go haywire as things are wont to do with kids but I guess that is every live long day. Like how I spent my Thanksgiving hosting thirteen family members and nursing my kids through the croup.
Bad news is now apparently I feel like I am just making drama trouble over this which is unintended. I just wanted everyone to understand my "side" but I guess when it comes to weddings there is only one "side". Unfortunately. But truth be told that there are family members who agree with me and those who don't but with the approaching holidays I want to smooth it over for good. It would have been fun to show off my kids to family I never get to see but oh well. They miss out because my kids are awesome.
I guess I feel like I just went to a wedding where there was (IMO) completely unnecessary family drama trouble over kids and well, I thought it was a stupid issue to spend anybody's time on. It was almost as if the bride could not just enjoy the fact that everything was pretty much perfect and she chose to focus on a child issue that was not an issue. If a parent will bring (has to bring) their kid and control them themselves I don't see a problem. Angry brides are not attractive when there is really no one doing anything wrong.
And how this will play out is I may forever be the tiniest bit sore that my kids (and other children) were not invited and the other affected parties will forever be sore that I even dared to raise the issue in the first place. Yay families.