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Blended Families
jsharkk
member
BD Mother's "Fiance" (intro + long)
jsharkk
member
Hey ladies!
I posted awhile back and since then I've only been creeping and taking advice. Let me tell you that in moments of "oh my God I want to run away with my baby" that you ladies have settled me down without even knowing.
Ok, I'll give you a little back story, if I forget details we can hash those out as we go. Technically I'm not a BF, I'm a single mom. BD and I were never married. He's American and lives in Michigan, I'm Canadian and live in Ontario, we've never lived together, and DD is Canadian and has always lived in Ontario. Him and I officially split mid-September but the break down of the relationship started October 2012 when I found out he had an online relationship with a girl in another state.
I got a lawyer beginning of October 2013 to do up a paternity/custody agreement. BD has done nothing in regards to custody except declare that if it says sole custody that he will not sign. After consulting my lawyer he said it is fine to bring DD to the States, however suggested not to hand over her documents to BD.
My sister who has such a kind heart convinced me to bring DD to Michigan for Thanksgiving to see BDs family. DD and I went to BDs father and step-moms house (without BD as he was not welcome) and then to BDs mothers house (where BD lives).
Here is where I need help to digest. BDs mother's "fiance" (I use quotes because they are on-again-off-again) approached me to say that he has only seen her twice (she's almost 10 months old) and that I should bring her over more often because he works 6 days a week and long hours so he cannot come to Canada to visit. First, last time I brought her over they were broken up, not my fault. Second, he flat out lied to me because the reason why he can't come to visit in Canada is because he's inadmissible. Third, this is something he needs to talk to BD about, not me. I was so caught off guard I didn't know what to say.
That was long.
Christmas is less than a month away. Please equip me with ways to deal with these types of comments.
I posted awhile back and since then I've only been creeping and taking advice. Let me tell you that in moments of "oh my God I want to run away with my baby" that you ladies have settled me down without even knowing.
Ok, I'll give you a little back story, if I forget details we can hash those out as we go. Technically I'm not a BF, I'm a single mom. BD and I were never married. He's American and lives in Michigan, I'm Canadian and live in Ontario, we've never lived together, and DD is Canadian and has always lived in Ontario. Him and I officially split mid-September but the break down of the relationship started October 2012 when I found out he had an online relationship with a girl in another state.
I got a lawyer beginning of October 2013 to do up a paternity/custody agreement. BD has done nothing in regards to custody except declare that if it says sole custody that he will not sign. After consulting my lawyer he said it is fine to bring DD to the States, however suggested not to hand over her documents to BD.
My sister who has such a kind heart convinced me to bring DD to Michigan for Thanksgiving to see BDs family. DD and I went to BDs father and step-moms house (without BD as he was not welcome) and then to BDs mothers house (where BD lives).
Here is where I need help to digest. BDs mother's "fiance" (I use quotes because they are on-again-off-again) approached me to say that he has only seen her twice (she's almost 10 months old) and that I should bring her over more often because he works 6 days a week and long hours so he cannot come to Canada to visit. First, last time I brought her over they were broken up, not my fault. Second, he flat out lied to me because the reason why he can't come to visit in Canada is because he's inadmissible. Third, this is something he needs to talk to BD about, not me. I was so caught off guard I didn't know what to say.
That was long.
Christmas is less than a month away. Please equip me with ways to deal with these types of comments.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BD Mother's "Fiance" (intro + long)
I think you've been generous so far. Relationships go two ways. There is a huge difference between keeping your baby from the other side of her family and creating a relationship when the other party is not interested unless you do 100% of the work. Elderly grandparents who don't like to drive I would make an exception for, but not people who are just too d*mn lazy!
The fact that MIL boyfriend works six days or isn't allowed into Canada - not your problem!
If you want to brush him off without ignoring him, say "I know, it's so hard! So many people love DD and want to spend time with her! You know the family has an open invitation to my house!"
If I hadn't already said I'd bring her over on Christmas then I wouldn't. However, I won't let her leave Canada without me until the paternity agreement is done up and I already agreed to bring her. (I won't give him her birth certificate). I'm friendly with BDs family aside from his mom and sisters (who are not good people) so it won't all be terrible.