Please don't flame....honest question. Wwyd?

Ljessen13 · November 2013

So now that I am modified bed rest it has allowed me time to stress and panic

. I told my DH if my bp stays under control should I go back to work? He said NO ! The doctor recommended this for a reason and if you go back it could happen again

. I love him for caring so much but cue stress! I went in to natural labor with my son on my due date......induction was never a real thought for me with this pregnancy. I get 12 weeks of FMLA which puts me to FEB 19. 6 weeks and 2 days after my due date...... I am honestly am thinking of talking to my doc that if this little one doesn't come by 40 weeks (not the typical 41 weeks 6 day wait) can we induce like a day or 2 later? I don't want to have only a few weeks with him! I am normally not a selfish person and would not do anything to risk his health but this honestly upsets me

. Please help. I am so torn. I was not expecting to go out of work at 34 1/2 weeks and I am a planner....so this is very hard for me to wrap my mind around everything

nolagal79 · November 2013

I can understand your concern of not having much time after LO gets here. Do you have any vacation time that you could use now instead of immediately using fmla? What type of work do you do? Would your boss allow you to do any of the work from home?

Hope you find a solution, but I agree with your husband. I wouldn't consider going back in to work (unless you can do it from home) unless your doctor takes you off of modified bed rest.
Good luck! Hope you come up with a solution that works for you.

Ljessen13 · November 2013

I am a manager at a bank. No work from home

I have vaca time next year that I could use. I get 100% pay from STD for 8 weeks. That puts me two weeks after my due date. Then then doc would have to file an extension to get my 60% pay. I guess I could use that till the deadline and then use a week or two vacation? @nolagal79. It just stinks bc like today I am having good bp all morning so it's hard for me to accept being at home....although I am sure my bp is good bc I am at home

kteeswei · November 2013

I understand where you are coming from and I think if your doctor is okay with an induction after 40 weeks and/or trial return to work I'd go for it. I would ask! Good luck!!

Roses87 · November 2013

You wont only have a couple weeks with him. I am in the same situation but I have been on bed rest since 24 weeks. So technically I could run out of fmla before I have the baby. Depending how you deliver you will get 6-8 weeks off after you have the baby. When my doctor filled out my fmla and in the spot where it says when to return to work she wrote 6-8 weeks post delivery. I know 12 weeks is much more Ideal to have off and I was looking forward to 12 weeks with the baby. Right now its best for baby to be in the inside so I will sacrifice a few weeks of leave so my baby can be healthy. So deep breath! You will be fine and you will have time to snuggle your baby. I would not return to work before you deliver, you need to do what is best for your baby's and yours health. That is the most important thing.

bossyfnp · November 2013

Sorry your in this situation. Can you cut back hours at work and use intermittent fmla. Can they use you for more desk job work? Where your not on your feet all the time? Either way your doc has to release you for anything to go forward

Roses87 · November 2013

I don't know how to edit. I know my fmla runs out on christmas day actually. They told me I will just need to reapply or just have my dr fill out paper work saying I am still unable to return to work and I will be fine.

Ljessen13 · November 2013

Thank you @roses87. I didn't think about "reapplying" for it. Like I said on days like today where my bp is all gravy I feel like I shouldn't be home.....of course my husband is like your doc wouldn't recommend it if you didn't need it Lisa!!! I know he is right. I shouldn't try to return bc if I do and something happens I will never forgive myself for putting job before LO. I had pre e with my 10 yr old so my doc is not a fan of any spike in my bp as they could all be warning signs. His theory is better safe than sorry. With lo being engaged as well his concern is preterm labor bc of my stress level at work, on my feet, lifting things like that. I just hope docs reasoning for putting me out is enough evidence to get STD to approve it!

precious72381 · November 2013

I understand your frustration! I have been on bed rest since 21 weeks but mine is for shortening cervix. My stress levels from being out of work are so much better (especially now that baby is far past the beginning of viability) but I agree with your husband. Your BP is probably down because you aren't working and resting. And going back can cause it to go back up and put you and baby back into a dangerous situation. You would rather sit around now and miss work then have a baby needing NICU or extra support and then you still have to go back to work.

I'm a teacher, so my situation is different. FMLA does not start until you are no longer being paid by work. I know you said you have sick days you can use next year but if you have any you can use now, it will put starting FMLA on hold longer (at least this was how it was explained to me and not sure if different states have different rules). FMLA also doesn't apply to weeks you don't have at least 3 work days. My understanding is also that you are still covered by FMLA until the end of the month that your 12 weeks comes to an end.

As a teacher, thanksgiving and winter breaks don't count towards my 12 weeks of FMLA time. Lastly, if I understand it correctly, FMLA coverage (insurance benefits) are only 12 weeks but FMLA covers your job for 18 months. So not sure how that can work with your vacation time but hope you can use some of that. You may have to go back to work for one day to stop your STD and begin being paid again but then you should be able to take your vacation time right after. Sounds like you need to spend some of your bedrest time on the phone with Human Resources, but be careful...that can cause your BP to rise too! So complicated. Hope you do well the next few weeks.

2Dash · November 2013

Honestly I would ask my doctor about induction at or just after due date. 40 weeks is plenty! Because I have gestational diabetes my doctor will not let me go over my due date. It's not like you are asking to go early.

Also as mentioned in the Thursday ticker change I'm also out of work unexpectedly early - there is a real stress to something happening before you are ready. I will be off for a year when LO comes so I don't have the added stress of going back early. I think you should ask and do what you feel is right.

jamiecal · November 2013

Sorry in advance...I didn't read all of the above posts, so I'm not sure if this has been said already.

I would check with your HR department and find out EXACTLY what they allow you. Mine said if I have to go on bedrest for any reason, it would be FMLA (obviously), but then a new/separate FMLA leave would start after the baby is born. Based on my company's policies, that would give me whatever I would need beforehand and then another 6 weeks from whenever the baby actually arrives, not when the FMLA started. I really don't know anything about the legal side of it, but you should definitely at least ask at work. They might have a similar policy that allows you to be home longer than you think.

Either way, I'm sorry you're in that situation. It is never easy to just sit around when you're feeling ok. Hope you get it all figured out soon!

umma4babes · November 2013

FMLA sucks. I'm sorry you're in this situation. What my HR said was it doesn't matter whether you use sick/vacay time - the days still count towards FMLA time if it is "pregnancy related." Look into your state leave law. I know that's how some women at my work was able to get extra days off when they were in a similar situation. They were able to tack on state leave law after their FMLA ran out. Another option is to talk to your employer and see if they can extend the leave - you just won't get paid. I would get something in writing that they would guarantee to hold your position open until you came back. There's nothing to prevent them from holding your position.

Please don't flame....honest question. Wwyd?

Re: Please don't flame....honest question. Wwyd?

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