I think it finally hit me. — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I think it finally hit me.

So, until today I've been holding up pretty well.  Not really unexpected, it tends to take me longer to really accept that it's happened again, but still.  I've spent most of the morning crying and I just don't want to do anything.  I hate feeling like this, but I know if I don't let myself grieve then it will just make things worse.  So here I am.  I feel like shit and h was nice enough to go get me an awesome bottle of red wine because I always seem to giggle like an idiot when I drink wine and he didn't want to see me so sad.  I must admit that it has definitely helped.  I'm no longer crying and I can finally get back on here without as much pain. 

I've also been cramping a lot, which I've never had after a d&c.  It's definitely making moving on a lot harder.  May be TMI for some of you, but seriously, h was half asleep and woke me up trying to fool around  and I got turned on for like 2 minutes before I started cramping so bad I couldn't move.  It was awful.  Of course, I wasn't sure if it was just a coincidence of it being excited is what caused the cramping, so yesterday I let it happen again and BAM.  There were the cramps.  So no more fun for me for a while.  Have any of you noticed this?  I've never had this before and it seems kind of weird.

But yeah.  I'm trying to still get things done and distract myself as much as possible, but I just feel awful today.  I know I'm being extra bitchy and it sucks.  I just want to go to sleep for a few months and wake up feeling better.
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Re: I think it finally hit me.

  • MrsDeo said:
    I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to see you over here. ((hugs)) I haven't had that experience with the cramps, but it sounds like it sucks. How far out from the D&C are you?
    Had it Thursday night, so almost a week.
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  • MrsDeo said:
    Well, I hope the cramping stops soon. It kind of kills any sort of spontaneity, but what about taking a painkiller ahead of time? I mean, if it helps before an HSG and all those other tests, it might help before (cough, cough) arousal. (That's a weird word, right? Like moist?)
    haha.  Side note, I really don't understand why talking about being turned on makes me feel sort of awkward, but I can talk about sex and cervical mucus and everything else related to baby making with no issue. 

    But yeah, my painkillers and muscle relaxers aren't doing much.  I know my emotions being all crazy isn't helping either.  When I'm feeling like this my pain levels always go up, so I'm really hoping my emotions level out a little and it all eases up.  I just hate that it's always a waiting game. 
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