Almost 2.5 years old and still VERY shy

Snow1010 · November 2013

I know that shyness is very common in 2 year olds, but I can't help but worry. Our DD is extremely vocal and outgoing at home, around family members she sees frequently and at daycare. But she turns into a completely different kid when we are in public. Even friends/neighbors that she sees every so often, if they speak to her, she hides her face or wants me to hold her. If a stranger in public says hi to her or waves, again, buries her face and won't look at them. At swim lessons or gymnastics, if the instructor tries to talk to her or help her....watch out! She wants nothing to do with them.

This "stranger danger" has been going on forever and I thought it would be a little better at this point. Again I have no worries about her development because she's very talkative and interactive around people she knows well, it's just everyone else in the world!

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a super shy kid!

MouseInLux · November 2013

One of my friends little girls is like that. I think it's just her personality, her mum is very vocal, our friends joke that the poor child has no option but to be like that

In shirt she's fine and will come out of her shell in her own time.

Snow1010 · November 2013

Our DD goes to daycare 40 hours a week and we do swim lessons and gymnastics....so lots of social activities

For people she sees on occasion (like 2-3 times a month) it takes about 30 minutes to warm up. But even her "warm up" isn't close to how vocal and outgoing she is at home with us. And I'm told at daycare she is fine....very interactive and vocal.

I just hate those moments when the swim instructor tries to talk to her and she HATES it. I feel bad for both DD and the instructor!

On the other hand, I honestly think she's a smartass just like her father and me. At a store, a stranger will wave and say hello. She buries her head. As soon as we get a few feet away she screams BYE and waves. Ugh, toddlers are so odd.

ebp913 · November 2013

My DD is the same way. I think she's just introverted. I would read a little about introversion and see if you think that's your DD. It's helped me learn a lot about her and just let her take her time. I've stopped pushing her to do stuff and I just let her warm up on her own. I also work on building her confidence in social settings and trying to let her know that I'm here if she needs me.

carlab44 · November 2013

DD was like this when she was younger. Almost painfully shy at times - even occasionally with people that she LOVED like her cousins. She's 7 now and I saw a huge improvement once she started school (even though she was in daycare starting at 4 months). She still has to assess some situations before jumping in and is still a little quiet if she sees an acquaintance in a new situation (like if she sees a classmate that she knows but isn't close with at a restaurant). But she happily tries new sports, talks to her swim instructor, and presents material in class. So I really wouldn't be concerned at all with your DD.

meg1974 · November 2013

My 4-year old was the exact same way (still is). At that age, I just encouraged her to say hi and respond to people, but I didn't force her. Now, she is in preschool and is having some social issues b/c of her shyness. The other kids don't really understand that she is shy (not unfriendly), and it takes her a while to warm up to them. I'm making a deliberate effort to help her speak up, and it seems to be working, albeit slowly.

But, at 2.5 I wouldn't make a bit deal out of it b/c you don't want to make her feel like she is wrong for being shy.

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Almost 2.5 years old and still VERY shy

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