Finding reminders — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Finding reminders

I found out almost two weeks ago that I had a mmc. Had my D&E this past Wednesday. I have been struggling since then. Sometimes, like today, I feel reasonably OK. Yesterday, I felt very sad and cried a lot.

After I found out about the miscarriage, I deleted all pregnancy apps from my phone, all bump pictures I had taken, and tried to unsubscribe myself from any email lists related to babymaking. I still don't know whether that was the right thing to do, but it felt right in the moment. I keep on coming across things. I had bought all of these pregnancy books, and I've since hidden them away. Yesterday, I found a list of questions on my iPhone that we had made for our first OB appointment. It makes me feel a little insane to look at that list now, and to know that when I was putting together those questions, I was blissfully unaware that my baby had already stopped growing. Today, I found a text from my husband that he sent the night before our first appointment, asking if I was excited. I had said I was but also was nervous that maybe something would be wrong. Ugh.

This stuff is so hard. 

Re: Finding reminders

  • Me too. I deleted all apps, bump pics, sonogram pics, etc. I even threw out some healthy 'pregnancy snacks'. It's just so hard to accept life is different now.
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