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Engaged and pregnant . Fiancée will be gone for a year ...

SupermommyhartSupermommyhart member
in Single Parents
I have been engaged for 7 months, and now I am 13 weeks pregnant . My fiancée left last week for a 13 month stay in rehab .... I have no idea what to do ? I feel a ton of emotions . Anger , sadness , I feel cheated out of the life we had planned , I feel abandoned etc. I don't know if I should wait for him and continue to write letters and try to be the supportive fiancé or just move on with my life . He has ruined everything by using drugs and now he will be gone for a year . I'm proud he's getting help but very angry and disappointed in him for using drugs and hiding his problem from me .... What if he comes out and goes back to his old ways after I've put my life on hold waiting for him to change ?
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Re: Engaged and pregnant . Fiancée will be gone for a year ...

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  • SupermommyhartSupermommyhart member
    Thank you for your reply .., I just want to clarify I am not planning on dating " I'm pregnant " and I don't want anyone else . I would just be a single mom raising my child .... Just want to be life for us. :) which will probably be without him
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  • rmajbusinessrmajbusiness member
    take this time to heal & forgive. the focus to be on you, so make it that way. allow yourself to just be you and when the year has passed, you'll know what to do.
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  • momof2buggsmomof2buggs member
    I imagine your feelings/thoughts/emotions will vary greatly in the next few months as you process all of the changes going on in your life. It is too premature to make a permanent decision right now, as you need to focus on your growing baby and yourself. I know it's temlting to feel like it's unfair that he is gone for the next 13 months, but honestly I think it's the best decision he could have made. Would you rather he not seek treatment, and continue in his addiction and consequently leave you and the baby permanently?
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    I
    momof2buggs said:
    I imagine your feelings/thoughts/emotions will vary greatly in the next few months as you process all of the changes going on in your life. It is too premature to make a permanent decision right now, as you need to focus on your growing baby and yourself. I know it's temlting to feel like it's unfair that he is gone for the next 13 months, but honestly I think it's the best decision he could have made. Would you rather he not seek treatment, and continue in his addiction and consequently leave you and the baby permanently?
    I agree with this totally. There are lots of changes going on in your body chemically because of the new life growing inside you.  Trust me, this messes with your thoughts and emotions.  Maybe seek counseling to help gain perspective?  A good support system will help a lot, but having a counselor might help keep your feet on the ground.  I sought counseling and I do not regret that at all. Our situations are different, but I still think that you could gain from it.  There are organizations out there that offer free counseling for pregnant women if you can't afford one.
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  • SupermommyhartSupermommyhart member
    Things are going much better than expected . He is already changing in so many ways . I'm so proud of him for devoting his life to Christ !!!! I know he has a long road ahead but he is commited to doing what is right for himself and our family . We will be able to visit him every Sunday for church which is a huge blessing ! I'm feeling so positive now about my decision to stick it out with him . We adore each other and always have. God is so good !
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