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OMG MIL driving me INSANE!

hbrooks88974hbrooks88974 member
in 3rd Trimester
My entire pregnancy my (soon to be) MIL has hinted & hinted that she wants to be in the delivery room when the baby is born. And every time she hints I hint back that I don't want anyone in there other than my fiance' and mother. Tonight she calls, and I can tell she has maybe had a few too many drinks, and informs me that there will be many of her family members and co workers "stopping by" the hospital after baby is born to visit. Didn't ask if it was okay with me, just told me. Ummm....what the hell? I was furious! But I just took a deep breath and changed the subject. 

I am normally a calm person, and I was tonight too. I should have stepped up and said something but I thought it may be more appropriate to wait until I am face to face with her and she isn't on the tipsy side. There is no way in hell I want visitors coming in and out of my room while I am getting to know and learn about my first newborn baby AND recovering from just giving birth! Am I being a drama queen? I am trying to go about this in a reasonable manner. My fiance' said he would gladly address the issue but I think I need to be the one to finally stand up for myself and say no. 


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Re: OMG MIL driving me INSANE!

  • rainydayluckrainydayluck member
    Why are you "hinting" and simply changing the subject when it is obvious your MIL needs you to straight up tell her no and put your foot down? It doesn't sound like the drinks were the reason you said nothing since you have said nothing firm before this situation.

    DD1: IUGR, low AFI delivered at 36 weeks

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    DD2: IUGR, low AFI delivered at 37 weeks
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  • RunBooRunRunBooRun member
    You are the patient when you are in the hospital. You will be recovering from child birth. Don't feel guilty about putting your foot down on visitors.
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    Samantha - 4/5/2017

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  • FemShepFemShep member
    Good for you for biting your tongue and waiting until she's sober.

    When you speak to her next, I agree with PP that you and FI should tell her, together, that you will be limiting visitors in the hospital and in the first few weeks of the baby's life, especially since it's cold and flu season.  Tell her that anyone planning to visit, including family, either at the hospital or at home, should call first because you will not be accepting visitors who drop by, and you certainly won't see non-family members in the hospital.

    You're not being a drama queen; your MIL is crazy. Your baby, your body, your rules, and she needs to respect that.  Can your FIL be a voice of reason too?
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  • m88bloomm88bloom member
    I personally rather them come to the hospital then my house afterwards but I you have every right to not want anyone there. SO is going to be the only one around when LO comes out and after I get some bonding time and rest it's fair game. 
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  • ScarlettVScarlettV member
    Just tell the hospital no visitors. I know its hard when you have pushy family, so if you waNt to avoid argueing with them, just make sure the hospital knows you don't want anyone showing up after delivery and they will police it for you. They can come up with all kinds of excuses like you're sleeping or need rest or whatever.
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