Sad, worried, hopeful- Day 2 of living with a miscarriage. (New here.) — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Sad, worried, hopeful- Day 2 of living with a miscarriage. (New here.)

My husband and I tried for 2 months and then got pregnant.  Found out on the 18th (of this month).  I took 4 home pregnancy tests just so I could see the words pregnant I was so excited.  I got the 'What to Expect When Expecting' book and downloaded all the baby apps.  Even started watching lots of pregnancy vlogs on youtube.  All the while I had been bleeding but thought it was implantation bleeding.  The night of the 20th I had severe cramping and started bleeding more.  I new instantly something was wrong.  The next morning I went to the ER and they gave me a blood test.  They told me my HGC levels were about 6 weeks and then brought me to get an ultrasound. No heartbeat.  They saw the fetus was where it was supposed to be just no heartbeat.  They also saw something in one of my fallopian tubes.  The Doc said since he already saw the fetus the odds of there also being an ectopic pregnancy is 1/40,000 and it's probably a cyst that will pass.  The Doc said that since I got pregnant so quickly I will probably have the same luck next time and saw no other issues with me carrying a healthy baby to term.

Today is Day 2 and I'm filled with emotions.  I know I've only technically known I was pregnant for 4 days I think that's just it.  It came about so easy and then it was gone just as fast.  I keep trying to remain positive but every other minute I go back to just feeling depressed.  This is my first pregnancy with my husband.  (We just got married in May.)  I keep telling myself this is a part of God's plan and he has other things he has blessed me with and there will be more blessings to come.  For whatever reason this was part of the plan.  Maybe when I do have my baby I will hold him even tighter, kiss him even more, and appreciate more having gone through this.   Through all the crying and sorrow it's amazing to have all the support from friends and fam.  But for me right now at this very moment having faith, staying hopeful, and visualizing myself with a healthy baby is shedding some light for me.  I'm not gonna lie I still worry that this might happen again but try hard fo shake that feeling.  Right now I just want to focus on getting my body and mental health back into shape for when me and my husband try again.  This has been therapeutic writing this all out.  Thank you and for you ladies going through this with me we'll see the plus sign again.  Just have faith.

Re: Sad, worried, hopeful- Day 2 of living with a miscarriage. (New here.)

  • I am so sorry for your loss.
    As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen - Winnie the Pooh

    Married 8/22/09
    Pregnancy 1- EDD 11/21/10 NMC @ 6 weeks
    Pregnancy 2 - Rai
    nbow DS born 1/15/11
    Pregnancy 3 - EDD 5/2/14 NMC @ 6 weeks 9/4/13
    Pregnancy 4 - EDD 6/11/14 BO @ 9 weeks D&C 11/8/13
     AF arrived 12/18/13
    BENCH IS BURNED 2/2014
    TTA until May/June 
    WOW!!! I'm pregnant!!! BFP 6/8/14 R
    inbow on the way EDD 2/14/15
    If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever -
    Winnie the Pooh

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I had almost the same thing. But we found the heartbeat. I we supposed to be 8wks but the baby we at 6wks.the baby just stopped growing. I've been told for a first time pregnancy this is very common and many many women go on to have happy healthy babies. Sometimes even right away. I'm very sorry for your loss but know that you aren't alone and you will one day be blessed.
    Me: 27, DH:33 Married Sept. 18,2010image 
    BFP Oct. 15, 2013 , EDD June 22, 2014 (Two days before DH's birthday).  
    HB found @ 6wks, NMC @ 8wks LO stopped developing.
    Currently TTC

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  • So sorry for your loss. I also got pregnant quickly (first pregnancy) and miscarried at 11 wks (d & c). Baby stopped growing @ 6 wks. I keep blaming myself because I broke my leg when I was 5 wks pregnant- I keep thinking I caused it :( Hugs for you. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #1 10/5/13 MMC 11/13/13 D&C 11/15/13
    BFP #2 5/14/14 EDD 1/19/15 Beta 1: 728 Beta 2: 1858 We have a heartbeat! 166 @ 7w3d  Please be our RAINBOW!
    Baby G is a BOY!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I am sorry for your loss, it is hard to be planning and then have something so heartbreaking happen. I am a few weeks post MC and I know how devastating it can be. It makes it harder when you are left with the books and the reminders of all your planning. After I MC I went through a few days of anger and I threw away all baby stuff.....I don't recommend doing that though, but it is an idea of how grief is. I like what you said about God's plan too!
  • I'm sorry for your loss! It sounds like your view and attitude is very healthy. We had our first pg and loss this fall too. I'm of course worried it might happen again, but also think I will appreciate a baby on a whole new level now. I think we also realized how ready we are and excited we are to hopefully be parents soon - we've waited a long time. Wishing you all the best! *hugs*
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
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