So, it happened again. I went in for my 11wk scan and the heart had stopped no more than two days prior based on growth. I had another d&c that evening. I was really hoping to never have to do this again, yet here I am. We had called it quits on TTC and I was on BCP (never missed a dose) and somehow I still end up here. Everything was going great and then just like the others the heart just stops for no [known] reason. I've been through so much testing and everything always comes back normal. This time I was even on extra progesterone (because I tend to spot), it made me so sick but I had almost no spotting so I started thinking maybe this could help. Maybe this wasn't doomed. But clearly I was wrong.
After the surprise of that pregnancy h and I realized we're not as ready to give up as we thought. So we're hoping to keep trying, but with absolutely no idea why this keeps happening I'm just really frustrated with it all. I get that flukes happen. But to have no explanation for 6 of my 7 losses is a little excessive to all be flukes. There's obviously something going on and my MFM and OB are both at a loss and it's so hard to not just scream.
I keep hoping it's just something weird that once it's discovered it will be able to be corrected and everything will be fine. But I've been tested for so many things I don't even know what could be left to test for. Though I do go in next week because my MFM wants to test me for some things that, in his words, "couldn't hurt so why not?" I'm sick of always being a puzzle and things not just being obvious.
Ugh. I'm sad, yeah, it sucks. But I'm more just frustrated that this keeps happening no matter what I do and no one can give me any answers why. I'm feeling completely defeated today. But there's nothing I can do so I'm going to suck it up, drink a bunch, and attempt to bake. Here's to hoping I don't burn the place down. lol