overwhelmed!

jezebel57 · November 2013

45 days until my c section!!!!!!!!! house is still a mess and disorganized, nursery still not completed (the door frame was taken off today because its being replaced and turns out it has to be special ordered due to my house being built before 1950), and i don't know anything about being a mom!!!! trying to figure out how to pull money together to buy the things we need (i was layer off in sept. and money is tight), pack my hospital bag just incase, etc...

i think because its getting so close i'm just freaking out. i really like to plan and be organized WAY ahead of time but i am feeling so overwhelmed that i end up doing nothing at all and then freaking out more about it.

any tips for getting everything done as time is closing in ? of course DH tells me today he thinks we'll go before the c section date. fabulous.

pinkmickey24 · November 2013

As a MOM I just wanted to chime in and I hope you don't mind. My biggest piece of advice is to do your best to relax because everything will fall into place. Everyone thought I'd go early and I held out until 37 weeks 5 days the day before my induction. Everything will be okay if it's not done before the babies get here. I am much the same when I get overwhelmed I can't get what I need done. I always wind up walking away.
My advice is take it one day at a time and get done what you can. Setting small goals of what you want to get accomplished each day might help with feeling overwhelmed. I'm wishing you all the best.

MJC1116 · November 2013

With DD, I cried the whole drive home from the hospital because. Had no idea what to do with her and I couldn't believe somebody thought it was okay for us to take her home. Take a deep breath and remember that it will be an adjustment, but you will learn as you go. I think that's the beauty of the relationship between parents and their first born. Babies seem pretty fragile but they are really resilient! They don't need much at the beginning. Someone told me that the newborn stage was the easiest it'll ever be. I couldn't understand at the time, but now with an almost 4-year old, I'm starting to get it. You can do this! It will just happen and you'll be amazed by yourself! As for the stress of your house,I agree with pp, set small goals each day and know the end goal won't be reached overnight. Just know what you are feeling is normal. Try not to stress. Enjoy these last few weeks and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Mrs.AmyDylan · November 2013

I'm with @pinkmickey24, try to relax and rest. Don't stress too much about not having the nursery together. J has yet to sleep in her room and she is almost 11mo. We didn't get a crib until she was 8mo (she had a bassinet).

Try to to buy too much stuff, you have no idea what your babies will like. See if you can borrow stuff that gets used for a very short time (swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer). Check out conignment places, Craigslist and see if there a MOMs sale is your area. Resist buying clothes because that is what everyone gives you as a gift.

You are more prepared for being a mom than you think!!

Keephope2012 · November 2013

Sorry to hear you are overwhelmed! I can relate a bit after our early labor scare I feel like I need to really get ready and can't do anything on bed rest! When I really thought about getting the bare essentials ready I realized it wasn't much- nursing stuff, a few outfits, a few blankets, ect. I have tried to make myself a task or two a day so it doesn't seem like too much. So I packed my diaper bag one day, made a list for the hospital bag another day. Hang in there!

jezebel57 · November 2013

pinkmickey24 said:

As a MOM I just wanted to chime in and I hope you don't mind. My biggest piece of advice is to do your best to relax because everything will fall into place. Everyone thought I'd go early and I held out until 37 weeks 5 days the day before my induction. Everything will be okay if it's not done before the babies get here. I am much the same when I get overwhelmed I can't get what I need done. I always wind up walking away. My advice is take it one day at a time and get done what you can. Setting small goals of what you want to get accomplished each day might help with feeling overwhelmed. I'm wishing you all the best.

as a future mom of 2 boys, i thank you for this!

tryingyetagain · November 2013

I am the same way and shut down when I feel overwhelmed. I have found that it helps if I make one big list with everything in it that is bothering me and needs to get done. Then I pick one or two things off the list each day and get them done. If it's a good day and I feel like accomplishing one or two more things, great, but no pressure. Then, let myself off the hook until tomorrow. After a few days, the list is getting more manageable and I'm feeling good about myself. I also try to tackle the smaller things first. It gives me momentum and the sense of accomplishment makes me feel good. The big things are much less daunting when the list is short!

But, like prior posters, don't worry about things not being perfect when LO's arrive. It won't matter so much to you once you're home with them. Your entire focus will be on them anyways!

jezebel57 · November 2013

Mrs.AmyDylan said:

I'm with @pinkmickey24, try to relax and rest. Don't stress too much about not having the nursery together. J has yet to sleep in her room and she is almost 11mo. We didn't get a crib until she was 8mo (she had a bassinet).

Try to to buy too much stuff, you have no idea what your babies will like. See if you can borrow stuff that gets used for a very short time (swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer). Check out conignment places, Craigslist and see if there a MOMs sale is your area. Resist buying clothes because that is what everyone gives you as a gift.

You are more prepared for being a mom than you think!!

i thought the same thing about clothes, but actually- we hardly got any newborn/preemie outfits at all at our shower!!! most everything was bought for when they are older/bigger (6-9 months). have to run out in the next few weeks and get things for when they first are home. we have the big items needed (cribs, rock and plays, bouncers, etc...) and just need to finish shopping off the registry with the completion coupon. babies will be sleeping in their cribs from the beginning because our bedroom is not big enough for bassinet, co-sleeper, etc.... i'm less worried about having items for them and more worried about how to actually care for them. i'm worked with infants before but only after they were 6 weeks old, so this newborn phase is brand new to me and i'm kind of losing it.

thanks so much for your input!!!!!

tryingyetagain · November 2013

One other thing about the newborn stage.... Maybe my DS was easier than most, but I found the newborn stage to be the easiest (DS is now 7). Granted you'll have twins so that will double everything. But newborns cry when they're hungry, you feed them and change them and the rest is mostly just lots of snuggle time and sleeping. DS had terrible reflux as an infant (including projectile vomiting until he was 1!), but it was still easier than his sassy self now! You will amaze yourself at how you figure it out! Remember, just one day at a time. That thought is still getting me through each day!

pinkmickey24 · November 2013

jezebel57 said:

Mrs.AmyDylan said:

I'm with @pinkmickey24, try to relax and rest. Don't stress too much about not having the nursery together. J has yet to sleep in her room and she is almost 11mo. We didn't get a crib until she was 8mo (she had a bassinet).

Try to to buy too much stuff, you have no idea what your babies will like. See if you can borrow stuff that gets used for a very short time (swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer). Check out conignment places, Craigslist and see if there a MOMs sale is your area. Resist buying clothes because that is what everyone gives you as a gift.

You are more prepared for being a mom than you think!!

i thought the same thing about clothes, but actually- we hardly got any newborn/preemie outfits at all at our shower!!! most everything was bought for when they are older/bigger (6-9 months). have to run out in the next few weeks and get things for when they first are home. we have the big items needed (cribs, rock and plays, bouncers, etc...) and just need to finish shopping off the registry with the completion coupon. babies will be sleeping in their cribs from the beginning because our bedroom is not big enough for bassinet, co-sleeper, etc.... i'm less worried about having items for them and more worried about how to actually care for them. i'm worked with infants before but only after they were 6 weeks old, so this newborn phase is brand new to me and i'm kind of losing it.

thanks so much for your input!!!!!

We were given 2 preemie sleepers and 1 newborn outfit. We went out and bought 8 to 10 sleepers. That carried us through. D was small enough for preemie but he was too long. Within three weeks C outgrew the newborn and D had them all to himself.

ForevAAROSE · November 2013

I am having the same anxiety. We've literally done nothing to the nursery. We bought everything, including paint but have done nothing. I'm 31 weeks and in a panic because I feel like theres so much to so. I agree with PP, maybe a list will work out for us. I am going to try that. And I'm in the same boat with finances. Thankfully we received pretty much everything we need from the shower, but there's still things needed. Including crib bedding, omg - who made crib bedding so damn expensive. $180 for a set! Yikes.

Anywho, wishing you lots of luck and if something works for you, Please share!

jezebel57 · November 2013

@forevaarose i skipped the crib bedding completely. all i wanted in the cribs was a sheet and the babies so i didn't even register (although it's all soooo adorable and i really wanted it!!!). our nursery is pretty much bare bones but that's all we really need. we have the 2 cribs, a rocking chair that DH's mom used with him when he was born, a dresser that is actually the bottom half of our curio cabinet, a changing pad on top of the dresser, and that's it. we put up more shelves in the closet for storage and painted, but that's pretty much it. i still have to get a door (big thing i guess!), 2 new blinds and curtains, but aside from organization and putting everything together and putting it away, i'm doing ok. the rest of the house is stressing me more than the nursery now that i spell it out i guess. i'm worried that with all the guests we're going to have it's not tidy enough. (i know no one will care, but i do!).

twistsandturnsto2 · November 2013

(((hugs))) I just wanted to say that I am sorry the anxiety is getting to you and PP had great advice for getting things done pre-babies.

Since I am a twin I am going to add that whenever my mom talks to me about those first few months she did say she did have us on a schedule, as much as you can with newborns. When she would leave us in the hands of our dad or his mother and then return to us "off schedule" there was hell to pay! But pp are right, you will get to know your babies, what they need and when they need it. It is going to be tough, but you will figure it out.

ForevAAROSE · November 2013

@jezebel57 omg! Perfect idea. I'm totally doing that. The sets are so cute but honestly I know the plush fleeces that we have for her are much more comfy, and we have cute minnie mouse ones. So we'll just get the mobile, bumper, and crib sheets! Thanks for the idea. And my house is messy, but my mom has been a life saver and has been comin by lately to clean for me. Once DH paints then things will start rolling. The crib and dresser are being delivered Jan 8th. My mom bought it, and decided to wait for delivery until I go out on leave. So once we get the furniture then ill start nesting. We also have a bassinet and play pen so if for any reason she comes early, she has other sleeping options until we get the room finished. I can't believe this, I'm gunna be a mommy and I'm scared. I'm scaered financially. Ahhhhhh.

jezebel57 · November 2013

weeklyplanner said:

@jezebel57 I love reading your updates. You were so supportive to me back in July during my terrible IVF cycle, so now I'm here to support you! Take a deep breath, you've got this. You are going to be a great mom. I am so excited for you! And, may I suggest that for all the close family/friends that want to "help" when the babies are first born, you politely request that they straighten up your house while you are in the hospital. Tell them that a clean house gives you a clear mind. I am the same way and I feel so much less stressed when my house is clean! I wouldn't think twice if a new mom asked me to help her in that way. Good luck!

awww, i'm sorry most of my updates are me whining or being crazy!

thanks for the idea! the control freak part of me won't allow that but even my counselor (who also went through IVF and has twins) says that i'm going to have to relinquish control and let people help. i'm trying!

jezebel57 · November 2013

ForevAAROSE said:

@jezebel57 omg! Perfect idea. I'm totally doing that. The sets are so cute but honestly I know the plush fleeces that we have for her are much more comfy, and we have cute minnie mouse ones. So we'll just get the mobile, bumper, and crib sheets! Thanks for the idea. And my house is messy, but my mom has been a life saver and has been comin by lately to clean for me. Once DH paints then things will start rolling. The crib and dresser are being delivered Jan 8th. My mom bought it, and decided to wait for delivery until I go out on leave. So once we get the furniture then ill start nesting. We also have a bassinet and play pen so if for any reason she comes early, she has other sleeping options until we get the room finished. I can't believe this, I'm gunna be a mommy and I'm scared. I'm scaered financially. Ahhhhhh.

because i've had about 10 SIDS trainings for my job, i have to say- be careful with the bumpers!!!!! even the breathable ones are questionable (although my pediatrician said those are ok, i'm still not using them). my poor kids are going to have plain looking cribs lol.

Peanutz21 · November 2013

ahhhh i feel your pain. i'm already overwhelmed by it all and i'm still pretty early. i have no idea what to do in terms of nursery furniture. too much pressure. too many baby products and i'm sure most are useless so i don't want to waste my $ either.

take deep breaths! that helps for me if only temporarily

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