Is it bad to feel angry???

Bnegrete82 · November 2013

Hi girls I've been reading your posts for the last couple days but I haven't been able to comment since I'm new until today. I'm still learning what all of your abbreviations are. I hope I can catch with the lingo

I wanna say how sorry I am for all you guys' loss. I had a missed miscarriage a couple months ago. It was my first pregnancy. It was the worse thing that could have happened after losing my dad to cancer earlier this year.
Now that the holidays are coming and having to say what we are grateful for I feel nothing but anger and sadness and although I know I should be grateful for having my friends and family I still feel I have nothing to be grateful for. Is that bad??? For the most part I feel like I've dealt with the miscarriage just fine and I try not to let it get to me but when I think of the year I've had I get angry.

Sorry for the long story guys it's just hard to talk to my friends about this since they haven't gone through this. I feel you guys understand best.

lynseyadamson · November 2013

It's all part of the healing process. I've been through everything from despair, grief, anger, sadness, hopeful, lost, stressed, depressed. You name it, I've felt it. I've had 2 mmc, I had d&c for both. The first one was in June and I really struggled with it for 2 weeks, then I started to come out of the darkness. I'd mentally prepared for It happening because i'd kept spotting and bleeding. I had 3 scans which showed a heartbeat, but I think I knew it was doomed. I had a scan at 11+3 and they told me there was no longer a heartbeat. My second one was a complete shock. It happened at the end of last month and I'd had no bleeding or spotting at all. I went for a scan at 6 weeks and saw a heartbeat, then my scan at 11+3 showed my baby had passed away at 7 weeks. It hit me harder and I felt completely shattered. It does get easier and you get through it. Feeling all the emotions, even if you don't understand why you feel them, is all normal. Hoping you are feeling ok x

Bnegrete82 · November 2013

@lynseyadamson sorry ti hear you went through it twice.
I just feel bad that I haven't really felt sad. When it was first happening I took like 3 rounds of cytotec cause I wouldn't expel the baby so I feel that was the main focus for a week. Then when it finally came out I went back to work and haven't really talked about it.
I think I try so hard to not let it get to me I stop thinking about it when i begin getting sad. I'm known to deal with things like that.

I'm glad there's this board for us to vent and talk. One of my friends went through the same thing and we were both sharing our experience and all of a sudden she started crying. We couldn't talk about it anymore. I felt so bad

So thank you all for reading glad I have you guys

2ndGeneration · November 2013

I don't think it's wrong to be angry. Not at all. I think I was angry when I had my first m/c so many years ago-it was my first pregnancy also. And it was around Christmas. I did get less angry as time went on.

It's different for everyone and every time. I've had 2 m/c this year , but having had kids and being so much older, I see it as more par for the course, and my emotions are quite different than before. I probably come off as almost casual, but I'm just at a different place now. I'm still very sad of course. I think I'd just like to skip right to January.

Bnegrete82 · November 2013

Well I sorta lashed out at some coworkers last week. My hormones were off the roof!!!! I got my period the following day. For the most part that's the most I've showed anger I usually just don't talk about it cause I begin feeling upset the moment I think about it.
It's just hard I think about losing my dad and I get sad then I think about the m/c and I get sad then mad. I start thinking god is punishing me idk

Hard to get my head around multiple m/c I can't even imagine going through it multiple times. I'm so sorry you guys went through it. If only we had a really good explanation as to why it happens maybe we will feel better? Who knows

I agree January where are you??? I really can't wait for 2014 to begin.

ArmyWife0623 · November 2013

im so sorry for your losses. and i know exactly how your feeling. i was doing very well up until the past few days when things started getting to me and everything built up just exploded and i started crying hysterically, and when im out and about shopping, and seeing all the holiday stuff, it just made me angry. i am very grateful for everything that i do have, but im more angry of what was taken away from me. the pain is still new and so devastating that i just cant seem to think more about the good things that i am blessed with.

just know you are not alone, we are all here for you! and i agree, 2013 and go fu(k itself!! come on 2014!!

kelcistanfield · November 2013

I am right there with you in the anger. I'm trying so hard to put it away and look for the positives, if only for my toddler's sake, but every day brings up a new point to deal with. I've torn everyone I know (and don't know) a new one in the days since my MC. What specifically is grating on your nerves? Maybe I could shed some light I've fumbled upon. Keep in mind, I am far from at peace so please don't take this as condescension! I'm not sure I'll ever be strong enough to be around my SIL who is due a month before I was supposed to be and constantly complaining that she wishes she could MC so she can get a puppy, instead. (So ready to take out her jugular!!)

In the meantime, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

lynseyadamson · November 2013

Sending you all love and hugs xxxxx

Bnegrete82 · November 2013

Wow you guys are so nice for your support. I stayed away from the forum all day today cause being on it yesterday just got me all depressed but it's not the forum it's just part of the process. Maybe I'm finally giving myself time to process it cause I really haven't.

@kelcistanfield wow jugular hahaha thanks for making me smile.

I think the anger started when one of my friends announced she was pregnant. She's due two days after I was suppose to be due. This same girls dad had the same cancer and surgery with the same dr in same hospital and her dad made it. She's living my life and although I'm happy for her and wish her well I'm jealous and upset that she has her dad and her pregnancy. That's bad huh? Im so going to hell.

Today was a better day though I think my hormones have subsided. A little.

Hehe

Is it bad to feel angry???

Re: Is it bad to feel angry???

Choose Another Board

Search Boards