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Venting... Doing it by myself

rmajbusinessrmajbusiness member
in Single Parents
I just needed a place to vent. sorry it's so long...

I am just into my second trimester and I've never felt more alone. BD and I have always had our ups and downs, but it has gotten so much worse since I became pregnant. now he feels he can say whatever he wants and if I get upset he blames it on my hormones. he will promise to do things for me then change His mind because he doesn't feel like it. he says he is saving money, but every time I look up he's using the money he saved to buy something for himself. I am trying to keep a positive relationship for the sake of my pumpkin (LO) but I'm the only one trying. I have to call him at night so he can say goodnight to the baby. If I don't, my child would never hear their father's voice. I have to .udate him on doctors appointments because he says "it's not important for him to be there except for the first appointment and when we find out the sex of the baby." 2 APPOINTMENTS!!!! out of 9 months 2 appointments. I feel like he says he wants to be there for his child but is putting in NO ground work. none. it's all me. never thought it would be like this, & it sucks.
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Re: Venting... Doing it by myself

  • inthelostinthelost member
    I'd just let him go...really. my daughter's father never even went to one doctor's appointment or even met her. I'm finally starting to realize that he's just simply not worth it to be upset and depressed over. when your child is born, go to DHR and file for child support. You and your LO are too good for him anyway
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


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  • rmajbusinessrmajbusiness member
    inthelost said:

    I'd just let him go...really. my daughter's father never even went to one doctor's appointment or even met her. I'm finally starting to realize that he's just simply not worth it to be upset and depressed over. when your child is born, go to DHR and file for child support. You and your LO are too good for him anyway

    thanks.... I'm trying. I am just now accepting I am a single mother. truly doing it & with no support from him. I can't imagine him not being around for my little one. Smh this is just really hard

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  • jokimotojokimoto member
    It is hard and I have only just begun, at 35 weeks, to come to terms with being a single mom.  I however have focused on the good things about it, like I get my LO all to myself for the most part, I get to make the decisions about the path my LO and I take and he can't drag me down his.  It has been said numerous times on this board, that no partner is better than a half a** one and I believe it.  As lonely as this time has been for me, trying to stay positive helps.  After all we are about to have the greatest gift in the world and I can't wait until my LO gets here. 
    BFP 9/10/12 m/c 10/26/12 BFP 2/10/13 Blighted Ovum m/c 3/12/13 
    Surprise BFP 4/15/13 Mark Anne Born 12/15/13 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • momof2buggsmomof2buggs member
    As much as you don't want to see it, he is throwing up major signs that he's not interested in you, or the baby. My ex husband was exactly the same way, and it took me a little time (and a LOT of heartache) to finally become strong enough to leave him. It's crazy because I convinced myself that I couldn't "do it" without him, but now that I've been a single mom for almost 3 years, I am fully aware that I was already "doing it" alone. Sure, he lived with me, but he was a big-time Over-Promiser-Under-Deliverer. I lived in a constant state of frustration, insecurity, and stress. He was a moving target all the time. Trust me-it will not get better. You said things dramatically turned for the worse since becoming pregnant? Then historically you can expect it to become even worse once baby gets here. I see that you are removing the consequences of his actions, and I would encourage you to put your efforts into preparing for baby and once LO gets here, you will need all the energy and focus you can get in order to care for him/her. I know it is a tough place you're in. I wish you the best and hope you get the strength up to be done with him.
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  • tig594tig594 member
    inthelost said:
    I'd just let him go...really. my daughter's father never even went to one doctor's appointment or even met her. I'm finally starting to realize that he's just simply not worth it to be upset and depressed over. when your child is born, go to DHR and file for child support. You and your LO are too good for him anyway
    110% this.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    He *might* change his mind after the baby is born (some men do) but don't bank on that.  For now, walk away.  This guy is selfish and immature.  If he's not going to help out while you're pregnant, he's probably not going to when the baby is here.  My BD doesn't bother texting me about seeing DD unless his parents are in town. Seriously. 

    Do what is right for you and LO.  Your lives will be so much better off once the initial heartache subsides (breaking up is hard, but harder with a baby).  As always, we're here for you. 

    Much love
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
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  • rmajbusinessrmajbusiness member
    thank you sooooooo much ladies. I am taking each of your words to heart!!!
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Just remember that you are NEVER alone, no matter how alone you feel.  We may not be physically around you, but we are here and we will always be here. <3

    I think this board has helped me more than I have ever imagined a web board could. I couldn't have asked for a better group of ladies (and sometimes gents) to talk to :)  My only way to give back is to be just as great of a support as every one else has been.

    Much love!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
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