I went for my weekly appointment yesterday to my OB, in hoping that my hormone levels have doubled. I'm 7 weeks going on 8, and since my last appointment there hasn't been any change in my hormone levels, and still no fetal matter, or heartbeat...just the embryonic sac, which was the same size.
I was hoping to hear good news that I'm just too early to tell, but my levels rose only by 1000, and they would have liked to see it 60% higher. I took another blood test, which will determine if my levels are decreasing, which is what they predict. At almost 8 weeks there should be fetal development and possibly a heartbeat, but it never developed.
Overwhelmed by this unexpected news, I was told in 2 weeks I should pass it though like a heavy period. And if I don't pass it naturally, then I have to call to have an appointment for it to be removed. ( I had an abortion several years ago when I was 19, and I wasn't ready for a baby...now I'm 31 and this seems similar, to an abortion, and I really didn't want to go through this ever again).
Also, I have an ovarian cyst and two fibroids which seems to be getting larger, and I might have to have those removed as well, once I'm cleaned out and healed.
I'm devastated because my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant after a few months, and we were ecstatic when we found out we were finally pregnant. Also finding out that my sister in law, and my sister were also pregnant around the same time, we were all going to share this beautiful experience and wonderful journey together. I was looking forward to sharing this wonderful experience with both of them, and my family, and right before the holidays which is usually such a happy time for me. I literally just found all this out yesterday, and I feel like I got hit with a ton of bricks.
I'm trying to be positive, and hoping once I'm healed from both of these procedures, it will only be a few short months, before we can begin trying to get pregnant again. I really hope we can try again and won't take long to conceive, and I don't want to go through another loss again...
Since finding this sad and unexpected news, I found out this is more common in other women than I had thought.
Trying to keep my head up, I'm happy that I at least got pregnant after trying, which i hope I will again.. I hear so many stories from friends and family whom had a miscarriage or two, before they finally had a stable and successful pregnancy.
This has been an emotional two weeks for me, and now feels like devastating loss...although there wasn't fetal matter developed, I still feel like I lost my child. I got so used to being pregnant and having this soon to be baby growing inside, when I fact there wasn't even a baby in there, just the sac.
How does someone move on from this, and what am I to expect from the procedures I will have to deal with?