Still not talking at 17mo.....what gives?

Babybear70 · November 2013

So, I know I shouldn't be worried about this because he will talk when he is ready, but I am. My son still does not talk and it is incredibly frustrating. We know he can hear because he completes things we ask him. Please go get your shoes, where are your ears? Belly? etc....Come here, go get your chair and help mommy cook...and he runs to get his chair. So his hearing and comprehension are good, and he is very good at electronics no matter what it is. He signs to me the few signs I have taught him to tell me when he is hungry or needs his diaper changed. We, collectively as a family, are constantly prompting him to talk and we get nothing. every so often he will come off with a very clear word or short phrase, but then he won't say it again.

I feel like I'm going crazy!! I soooooo want him to be able to talk to me and tell me what he wants instead of just pointing and grunting. All he says is Hi, Dada, and Vroom (when he plays with his trucks), and once in a blue moon I can get him to say Mama or Mom. But that is all we have. And because he knows what he wants and can't properly tell me, he gets frustrated and it has been happening a lot more lately.

We have our 18M checkup next month....I just want him to start talking before that so we know everything is good and won't have to go through some sort of speech therapy. Any advice on how to maybe help this along myself.....

michelle615 · November 2013

My 17 month old son talks some, but until about the last week said very few words around me. He babbles in his own language all the time, but I was getting very few words out of him. I've learned though that he does say more words around other people, specifically his grandmother. Does your son babble? Does he spend time with other people that you could ask? I've come to learn that my son does things differently around me - or so it would appear - because I feel like I've learned what he wants and needs without him having to say the words all the time. If that makes sense?

I talk to him all the time, and we're always singing songs, playing music or have the tv on for the noise when we're home. My son really responds to music well, in fact I think he's trying to sing the ABC's with me now. I try to read books to him too, although his attention span is like 60 seconds. He goes to daycare and I know that they read and talk all day there too. If your son is being exposed to language every day in some way or multiple ways, I'm not sure there is anything else you can do. Hang in there! I'll bet the words will start flying out of his mouth soon.

ttimmerman · November 2013

If your little guy only has 2-3 words at 17 months, then I would definitely mention something to the pedi. I'm not sure I would wait another month for his checkup, because if he does need speech therapy, the earlier you can get him in the better. In the meantime, I would just talk to him a lot, read to him, when he wants something (milk or whatever), tell him the word over and over and try and get him to say it instead of pointing or grunting. Will he mimic you at all? Like if you say, "Can you say blueberry?" will he try to say it? Does he babble at all? Or do you mean he literally does not try to talk at all?

magentawarped · November 2013

I had a friend whose kid only had like three words, and mostly just grunted or screamed when he wanted something. At 23 months, his language skills exploded. Some kids just sit around and absorb things for awhile before they decide to talk.

Something that my friends and I have noticed with our kids is that they seem to have "language leaps" whenever they get out of the normal routine for a bit. Vacations, day trips, just seeing new people. After visiting my mom in California for two weeks, DD came home with about 15 new words. Try getting in some new experiences, it may help.

singingirl96 · November 2013

I know you said you don't want to do speech therapy, but you may have to. My son is completely non-verbal at 16months. He says mamamamama but that's all the babbling he does, and he doesn't mean mama. No words at all. So we called our local public school system and they will do a evaluation next week to see if he needs speech therapy (which he will), and all of it is free. So, it doesn't hurt to have your son evaluated. Good luck.

buzzbee24 · November 2013

Ds at 17 months maybe had 5-10 words but not consistent with using them. At 18 month appt. Pedi wasn't concerned becasue his receptive language was great. Could follow directions, point to ten plus body parts when asked so we knew hearing wasn't an issue. Since then, almost 20months now, he seems to have a new word or two each day and is forming sentences. As a mom, trust your gut. Get an evaluation if you feel he needs it. I told myself if I didn't see an improvement by 20-21 months I'd seek language help but now with his latest developments, I'm gonna roll with it and hold off on evaluation. I think his language explosion is on the horizon. I'm a ftm and what everyone has told me are boys tend to talk more closer to 2 and girls are usually earlier in language milestones. Idk if that's true but everyone with boys I've talked to all agree with that theory. Good luck!

buzzbee24 · November 2013

Also wanted to add that I've read signing is great for communication skills but can sometimes delay the actual verbal use of those words...again ftm so what the fiddlesticks do I know?

wychets · November 2013

I know as Mothers we cannot help but worry about things. At DD's 15 month appointment I was concerned she wasn't talking at all as well. Her Pedi said "just wait" and oh boy she was right! By 18 months she just started talking out of no where. Now she won't stop lol. Keep calm mama I'm sure its coming!

jasminelorraine20 · November 2013

Do you read to him at all? I know that reading has a lot of influence on a toddler's speech. Also, tv may be a factor if you have it on a lot. I agree to ask your pedi and see what she/he says, but I wouldn't worry too much.

ashiscute · November 2013

You have every right to be worried about your son. Ignore people who tell you not to worry and he'll talk when he's ready. You know your child best. Does he babble? Does he imitate you when you talk? My DD was non verbal at her 15mo well check and the pedi wasn't too concerned but gave us a recommendation for EI for an evaluation. She qualified and began speech therapy at 17mo. It has been a huge blessing for us. Having someone to give me ideas on how to communicate more effectively with my daughter was great. Speech therapy at this age is at your home and all play based and not at all stressful for your child. I'd really recommend contacting your pedi for a referral. I know you don't want therapy for your child but if he needs it you are much better off getting him help as soon as possible. And having good receptive skills does not mean your child can't have speech issues. There are articulation and other motor disorders (my DD has childhood apraxia of speech) that do not affect receptive language.

I'd really recommend sign language. As long as you continue to pair it signs with words it's a huge help. Talk to your son as much as possible and make sure you over-enunciate words for him. Have him watch your mouth to mimic you. Play games where you mirror facial expressions and sounds. Good luck!

Babybear70 · November 2013

Thanks for all your responses ladies. I am doing everything that all of you are suggesting, trust me I'm not a sit back and watch type of parent. I read to him constantly because he LOVES books. I can ask him any part of the book (find the puppy, where is the fire truck, where is the cookie) and he will flip to the page and point to it. I narrate every where we go, I probably look like a fruit loop in the stores. I point stuff out as we drive. We sing, we dance, we work on sizes, colors, shapes, animals, Disney characters, everyday items all play based. We do sign language, we work on animal sounds...we do it ALL!!! I explain to him what I do when I cook. He mimics my movements and what I do, just not my mouth or my words. He knows what he can and can't touch and is very responsive and receptive to all commands no matter what it is. And really, he could care less about TV. He is more interested in his toys and his books and when I let him play with them, the apps on my ipad that are for him.

And it isn't that I don't want to get an EL. I will do whatever I have to do in order to help my son with anything. I just don't want to do anything too early to invoke frustration for him, and I don't want to wait until it is too late when it becomes more difficult. I feel like I'm walking a tight rope on what to do when. I just want to do what is best for him. Our Pedi said she wasn't going to worry until he is 2 because of the language explosion that you girls have mentioned, and she mentioned it too.

Guess I will start getting my resources around, and start watching some videos and reading books on how to maybe kickstart the process to teaching him to talk a bit. Maybe we can make enough headway in the next 4 weeks before out appt. to make me not worry so much.

DiveFrog · November 2013

Just a thought, but are you with him all the time, or does he go to day care, or have a family member watch him at all?

The reason I ask is because DD (18months) is watched by my parents during the week while Dh & I work, and she often will use a new word during the day with them, but then doesn't repeat that word for days in DH, or my presence. The time we spend with her is mostly evenings and this is the last part of her day, she is not really at her sharpest, she is getting tired and ready for bed.

Usually, I will notice her using a "new" word on the weekends. Also, I will say she is most likely right around the corner from an explosion because the new words are definitely coming faster the past few weeks. From 15-17months I don't think she really learned any new words and then in the last month she has probably picked up at least 6-8 that she will consistently use now, including Mama (finally:)

buzzbee24 · November 2013

Nicb13 said:

buzzbee24 said:

Also wanted to add that I've read signing is great for communication skills but can sometimes delay the actual verbal use of those words...again ftm so what the fiddlesticks do I know?

I love the word fiddlesticks and use it almost daily

Snicklefritz is also a favorite daily word to mask my pre mom trucker mouth. Lol

emberlee3 · November 2013

I think you should get an eval. Humans are wired for language and most children learn to speak easily simply by imitating others. When that isn't happening, it needs to be checked out. Everything may be perfectly fine, in which case it will just happen without much effort on your part. But get an eval just to know for sure.

summershanty · November 2013

I could have written your post! Our 17 month old says very, very little, and at our 15 month appointment our doctor said if he doesn't have some words by 18 months then he will refer us to early intervention. Well, his 18 month appointment is in less than two weeks, and I'm totally expecting that. I'm hoping he's just late in language, but I'm glad to have him evaluated!

PseudoMama · November 2013

Two websites I found really helpful (I was in your boat at around the same age):

TheLittleStories.com

PlayingWithWords365.com

Pick 2-3 words a week to focus on. Fundamentals or things they are around a lot such as water, dog, book are going to be more natural first words than like the color Yellow. Dumb down your conversations - speak in 2-3 word sentences.

Pick a game to play 15 minutes a day. We did "Go, Car, Vroom". I lined up all of DS's cars and one by one we would say "Go car, Vroom", and then push it across the floor. Then, start leaving a word out ("Go car, _____". Within 10 minutes DS was saying "Vroom". A week later he was saying "Go". Now today (5 months later) he said "where did my ball go?"

Babybear70 · November 2013

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas. And to answer your question DiveFrog, yes he goes to grandma's house while DH and I work.

I'm going to ease up on myself a little bit especially after this weekend. He seemed to pick up new letter sounds, can now say yes by shaking his head, says thank you in sign language, and can correctly identify the letter 'R' out of the whole alphabet (weird I know). I'm going to work with him at home a little more heavily than I was before to see if we can make some magic happen before out appt. next month. Thanks again to all of you. I appreciate everything.

g8trkim · November 2013

I didn't read all the posts above so this may have been said, but your LO IS talking just not a whole lot. If there were not words, reactions, understanding then yes I would be concerned but that's not the case. I don't see anything wrong with waiting until next month to talk to the pedi. It really doesn't sound like enough to get speech therapy at this point but a referral and check couldn't hurt and may just ease your mind. If there isn't much progress by 2 then therapy may be needed. With DS I noticed a HUGE change in his language starting at 18 months. I think in the next few months you'll see a big jump. Best of luck!

sunnyday016 · November 2013

g8trkim said:

I didn't read all the posts above so this may have been said, but your LO IS talking just not a whole lot. If there were not words, reactions, understanding then yes I would be concerned but that's not the case. I don't see anything wrong with waiting until next month to talk to the pedi. It really doesn't sound like enough to get speech therapy at this point but a referral and check couldn't hurt and may just ease your mind. If there isn't much progress by 2 then therapy may be needed. With DS I noticed a HUGE change in his language starting at 18 months. I think in the next few months you'll see a big jump. Best of luck!

I agree with this. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting an eval, but at 17m I really don't think it's needed. Most children have not had their language explosion yet. DS had maybe about 5 words then, but now just a few months later, he is adding words every day and stringing words together.

JR320 · November 2013

I am a speech pathologist and I primarily work in early intervention. You've gotten a lot of good advice in this post, but there is also a lot of misinformation in it. First I just want to say that you are doing all the right things in terms of providing a language rich environment and the fact that he is not talking yet is not because of anything you did or didn't do. In typical development 50 percent of kids have 50 words by 18 months. 90 percent have 50 words by age two. Lots of pedis miss the mark on this. They are fabulous medical doctors, but their training in development is really limited. When I see a kiddo who doesn't have 50 words at age 2, then I am worried. In order to have 50 words at 18 months, they need to be moving along in the direction at 18 months. Your little guy is still really young and he may just be a late talker. There are definitely kiddos out there with strong interaction skills, play skills, and receptive language skills that fit the late talker profile and hit their language growth spurt a little later than average. But there are also lots of kiddos out there who don't, even when their understanding skills are strong. EI is so important for this group of kids. Their little brains are primed for language in the first 3 years of life, which means we can prevent future problems by intervening early. A good speech pathologist can help you determine if your little guy has any red flags that could point to a speech problem outside of just being a late talker. There are lots of research studies supporting the use of signs to jump start language in late talking toddlers. I don't know of any studies showing that it inhibits language development. That is a common myth. Speech therapy for toddlers shouldn't be stressful for them at all if you have a good therapist. It should feel like play. Therapy usually focuses on teaching you strategies that you can use in your everyday interactions with your child. The recommendation for the littlestories blog and playingwithwords blog are both great ones! I would also add hanen.org and teachmetotalk.com. If you are a reader, you might like the book It Takes Two to Talk published by the Hanen Centre. It is written just for parents and I work through it with a lot of my clients. Laura Mize at teachmetotalk.com does a weekly podcast all about early intervention for communication delays, which is great too. Good luck to you and your little one. Trust your gut.

juliane2004 · November 2013

I honestly think you should not worry. My oldest had no words at 18 month, but could copy some sounds. Then at 19 months, her vocabulary exploded.

ashiscute · November 2013

JR320 said:

I am a speech pathologist and I primarily work in early intervention. You've gotten a lot of good advice in this post, but there is also a lot of misinformation in it. First I just want to say that you are doing all the right things in terms of providing a language rich environment and the fact that he is not talking yet is not because of anything you did or didn't do. In typical development 50 percent of kids have 50 words by 18 months. 90 percent have 50 words by age two. Lots of pedis miss the mark on this. They are fabulous medical doctors, but their training in development is really limited. When I see a kiddo who doesn't have 50 words at age 2, then I am worried. In order to have 50 words at 18 months, they need to be moving along in the direction at 18 months. Your little guy is still really young and he may just be a late talker. There are definitely kiddos out there with strong interaction skills, play skills, and receptive language skills that fit the late talker profile and hit their language growth spurt a little later than average. But there are also lots of kiddos out there who don't, even when their understanding skills are strong. EI is so important for this group of kids. Their little brains are primed for language in the first 3 years of life, which means we can prevent future problems by intervening early. A good speech pathologist can help you determine if your little guy has any red flags that could point to a speech problem outside of just being a late talker. There are lots of research studies supporting the use of signs to jump start language in late talking toddlers. I don't know of any studies showing that it inhibits language development. That is a common myth. Speech therapy for toddlers shouldn't be stressful for them at all if you have a good therapist. It should feel like play. Therapy usually focuses on teaching you strategies that you can use in your everyday interactions with your child. The recommendation for the littlestories blog and playingwithwords blog are both great ones! I would also add hanen.org and teachmetotalk.com. If you are a reader, you might like the book It Takes Two to Talk published by the Hanen Centre. It is written just for parents and I work through it with a lot of my clients. Laura Mize at teachmetotalk.com does a weekly podcast all about early intervention for communication delays, which is great too. Good luck to you and your little one. Trust your gut.

Thank you so much for posting this!! I feel like people are so dismissive of speech therapy for toddlers but it has made a world of difference for my daughter. It is very easy to have the opinion of "speech therapy is not necessary for kids under 2" when your child doesn't have an issue.

KKMichie · November 2013

I was so happy to see this list in the string of posts! I am also a Speech language Pathologist with a 20month old son. Everything you have suggested is right in the mark and everything I would have said also!

lkuester203 · December 2013

my 17mo old says only two words, can't point and can't clap....we just had him evaluated and he is going to qualify for speech. They said he is on a deficit of a 2.5 standard Deviation...any thoughts....tips...suggestions? Freaking out a little over here..

:-S

Still not talking at 17mo.....what gives?

Re: Still not talking at 17mo.....what gives?

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