Third-Party Reproduction

Intro + DE Question

Good morning, everyone.

I've been hanging with the ladies over at TTC over 35 and Infertility; the Infertility board referred me here. This is a crosspost, so apologies if you're on the other board as well!

Background: MY AMH is 1.3, up from .32 one year ago. FSH was 7 last year, and I am waiting to find out what the current results are. S/A is this weekend as well. I'm 36 and never been able to get pregnant expect for a BFP in May (my first ever), which ended in m/c in June. Prior to that and since then, nothing. We "graduated" to a fertility monitor, which has proved less than helpful. My fella and I just started seeing an RE, one of the best in our city. We're meeting again with her in a few weeks to get an official diagnosis, after the HSG. I'm fairly certain DOR is a major issue we're dealing with, she was only able to see 8 total follicles and none matured at ovulation this cycle. (Still waiting to O, or missed O - not sure which).

Prior to official DX from the RE, she's already recommending we start the next cycle with Femera and injections to stim the follies. I have to admit that the infertility journey has become incredibly difficult, and I feel very hopeless, and I'm ready to jump into what we know will work, rather than hoping that stimulation/IUI/IVF does the job. I'm ready to immediately move to donor eggs or donor embryos. I'm not interested in spending months playing with my eggs. I just want to be a mother. 

Has anyone else moved immediately to donor eggs? Am I jumping the gun? Should I trust the RE more? I just don't want to put myself through endless treatments. I'm not attached being genetically connected to my children as long as I can carry them.

Sarah, 38 | Nathan, 40 | Maxine b. 11/2014 | TTC #2


Re: Intro + DE Question

  • Hi @on42 and welcome!

    Everyone is different, so take my advice with a grain of salt. 

    Despite the fact that I'm MUCH older than you, I personally wasn't ready for donor eggs until I at least tried IVF with my own eggs.  I would always have wondered "what if" if I didn't at least give my old eggs a try...but that is me.

    Fast forward to today and I've been through 3 OE IVF's and 2 DE IVF cycles (1 fresh and 1 frozen) and still have NOT found true success a.k.a. a take-home baby.  If I were in your shoes, I would at least confirm your DOR diagnosis before making any rash decisions. 

    Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that some doctors push DE's as a "cure-all", it doesn't work for everyone...and even when it does work, it's not always on the first try.  Unfortunately, there are several of us on this board who have gone through multiple rounds of donor cycles (both donor eggs and donor embryos) without success.  Sorry if I sound like a Debbie-Downer, but I just want you to realize that DE's don't work for everyone.

    P.S.  Both your AMH and FSH levels looks great to me, but obviously I think you need to get all of your test results in, including your DH's semen analysis, to determine what next steps make the most sense for you. 

    Being OOP for fertility treatments myself, I also realize that cost often plays a major factor in the decision on whether to 'jump' to treatments that have a better chance of working.

    I hope your next appointment with the RE brings you some concrete answers and you can decide on a plan to move forward.   Best of luck to you!!

    Me: AMA, DOR, undetectable AMH, carrier of SMA, MTHFR homozygous C677T, high cytokines, low IGg B cells, Factor XIII V34l mutation, High Anti-Phosphatidylethanolmine, borderline hypothyroid and mildly insulin resistant.

     

    MH: No known issues, aside from MTHFR.

     

    Recommendations from RI: LIT, Humira, IVIG, Lovenox, Baby Aspirin, Folic Acid, Low-dose synthroid and Metformin.

     

    Currently taking:  Pre-Natal vitamins, Foltanx, Low-dose synthroid and Metformin. 

     

    When cycling also taking: Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, Humira and IVIG.

     

    TTC since 7/11/09..with medical intervention starting in 2010, including 4 failed IVF's and 6 failed IUI's...only "success" was a chemical pregnancy in 11/2012 (credited to use of DE).

    FET #1 (11th cycle) on 8/23/13 = BFN.

    FET #2 (12th cycle) Transfer of last two (day 6) donor egg blasts on 1/22/14 = BFP, EDD = 10/10/14 (please stick little BOY!)

     

    My favorite breed:

     

    image

    ***PAIF/SAIF always welcome***

  • Thank you both for your replies. They're different, but both incredibly respectful and helpful. I know everyone has a different level of hitting bottom (or top as it may be). I admire all the couples who have made huge efforts to TTC, through all the treatments, medications, appointments, COST. Honestly, I don't think I can do it for that long. 

    We do plan on waiting for final diagnosis before making any committed decisions. I like to have all the information and go from there, in anything I do. 

    jalara48, GOOD LUCK! I'll be following your blog.

    Sarah, 38 | Nathan, 40 | Maxine b. 11/2014 | TTC #2


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  • This is such a hard path to travel - only you can decide when or if it is time for DE. I wanted to give my eggs a fighting chance - plus I had great insurance at the beginning. We are on round 2 with DE now (OPP). Being OPP adds a level of complexity none of us enjoy.
    Good luck with you next appt & welcome to the board!

    Me:37 (DOR), DH: 40 (Normal) TTC #1 since Fall 2010
    2010-2012 - 7 rounds of Clomid, 4 IUI & 2 IVF - all BFN (2 chemical pregnancies)
    April 2013 fresh DEgg - 15R, 4F, 2 transferred = BFN.  
    FET - 11/13
    Beta #1 11/23 = 247; Beta #2 11/25 = 538; Beta #3 11/29 = 5481 BFP!!!!!
    U/s #1 12/7 & U/s #2 12/16 = One perfect little heart beat!! 
    EDD = 8/1/14

    Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)

  • I think if you've come to terms with not having a 100% biological child, then DE or DEmbryo is a great option.  DEmbryo would probably be the cheaper option, especially if you were considering using an anonymous egg donor.  If it were me I would find out what your diagnosis is first before making any final decisions.  It could be something "simple" and "easily" fixed.  Is hubs ok with donor embryo?  
    *****siggy*****
    Me: 33 (Mosaic Turner's Syndrome/POF) 
    DH: 35 (no male factor)
    3/10 - Foster Mr. T for 1 month
    3/11 - Foster AL for 1 year
    7/11 Known donor retrieval 7 fertilized 
    7/11 DE Transfer -BFP & 5 FE
    4/9/12 Miracle baby girl arrives!
    Planning for FET 7/14


  • One thing to keep in mind is that being hooked up with donor eggs is generally not instantaneous, especially if you want to do a fresh cycle.  Some clinics have waiting lists for in-house donors.  You can get around this by using an agency but it's more expensive.  Even if you are matched with a donor it can easily take a couple of months before you can cycle -- you're dealing with another person's cycle and calendar as well at that point.  So if timing is your only concern you might be able to get an OE cycle or two in before you could cycle with DE, so if you have insurance or money isn't a huge object you could do that.
  • LittleLady77LittleLady77 member
    edited November 2013
    I second everything @strudel82 said. My diagnosis was bad enough to push us straight to DE. We never did injectabels or IVF. I was 30 years old at the time we decided to do this and it worked on the first try. I have no regrets but make sure you won't either. My AMH was undetectable and my FSH was over 20... That's bad. If I had had something to work with in terms of eggs I would have done IVF. If you know you're ready to move to DE then don't look back.

    imageimageimage
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I sort of jumped the gun. I had 6 IUI cycles and never responded to FSH. Then I attempted IVF and it was cancelled because I only produced 1 follicle. It was at that point when I decided to go straight to donor eggs. I didn't want to spend a fortune on IVF just for it to fail. 

    I think maybe you should try injections and see how you respond before going to donor eggs. 
    image
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