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MIL Vent. sorry this is long

Junemom2013Junemom2013 member
in June 2013 Moms
For the past few years we have spent Xmas with my parents. We always see my inlaws for have "happy everything" in January or February. Well this year we decided to not travel for xmas and my MIL, a family friend MIL lives with,  sis in law and her wife, my nephew and, my sister  were all going to come to my house on xmas. for the first time in probably 15 years my DH was going to be together on Xmas day. They all have dogs. my sil has 2 dogs, mil has 1 dog and my sis has 1 dog. 

My house is not that big to begin with but I was really excited to have everyone here, its going to be a full house!  My home + 9 people+ lo toys + xmas tree and decorations = even less space then before.  DH and I had discussed the dogs...my in SIL usually asks if its ok to bring the dogs and I am fine with it. but we want to be able to let our LO play on the floor with her toys and not have to worry about being accidentally stepped on my dogs.  She agreed to not bring the dogs and leave in a hotel during xmas. 

Anyway, We found out today that my sisters dog is in heart failure (came on really fast...I saw him on sunday and he was a completely different dog). The vet is estimating him to have anywhere from 1 to 6 months left and said he would be surprised if he made it 6 months. my sister is heartbroken. DH and I decided to allow my sis to bring him for xmas....after all it will be his very last christmas and it will make it easier on my sis who would be driving an hour to and from my home. 

I told my sil about the dog and that we are having him over on xmas and she was fine with it. My MIL however was not so understanding....now she is saying she is not coming if she cant bring the dog. she refuses to stay at a hotel (that my sil offered to pay for and actually booked a room already incase they decide to use it) and wont let us pay for boarding for the one day (thats right she is driving up on xmas day and leaving on xmas day) she was going to be here. 

I am so livid right now. first of all she never asked if she could bring her dog...she just decided it was alright. 2. is really going to miss her granddaughters 1st christmas because she cant bring her dog??? and 3. she hasn't seen her daughter (my sil) in years and she doesn't seem to care. 


Im sorry this is long and jumbled and for any errors. I'm just so angry right now.  here is a cookie for reading this. 
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Re: MIL Vent. sorry this is long

  • KellenHi21KellenHi21 member
    So sorry :( that's completely ridiculous! I hope she sees how silly she's being soon! Hugs!

    6.21.13
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  • AchaeAchae member
    That's ridiculous. I'm soooo not a dog person but I know some people treat them like humans. Idgi.
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  • Junemom2013Junemom2013 member
    I'm a big dog person to but I've spent christmas without my pup before to see family. I told Dh it's her choice to miss us and she has chosen who her "family" is. I also told him that if she really does not come then she misses everything. I'm not putting tons of pics up on fb and it's not going to be like my baby shower. she didn't come (didn't even RSVP) and 20 min before my shower we get a message from her friend saying she's crying about not coming and wants us to Skype her in for her to watch. So I had to take time away from people who drove 17 hours to be there and Skype with her because she wouldn't drive 4 hours.
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  • Monkeybutt80Monkeybutt80 member
    WasNotWas said:
    I was listening to talk radio and the lady gave some great advice. Just say "if you can't make it, we will miss you". If she wants to be selfish, let her.
    This.  Let HER make the decision to be childish and not come.  

    With that said, I have declined a family gathering because of my dogs.  It wasn't anything like a grand daughters first christmas, but my dog was blind awaiting his cataract surgery at that time (brought on by his diabetes + thyroid issues - now all well managed), and it was an annual a week long family reunion for my husband's family.  We normally bring him, but he knew how to get around our house because he was used to it even though he couldn't see well, but if we had brought him to the in law's house, he would have ended up running into things because he doesn't know the layout of the house as well.  so we ended up skipping it that year.  I know my in laws were disappointed but I just couldn't do that to him.  Besides, he was getting freaked out easily because he couldn't see and 18 screaming kids at the reunion would have completely freaked him out. 

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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    WasNotWas said:
    I was listening to talk radio and the lady gave some great advice. Just say "if you can't make it, we will miss you". If she wants to be selfish, let her.
    A million times, this.  Don't get emotional about it because she WANTS to work you up.  Be clear and neutral and this response makes it very clear that this is everything to do with a decision SHE is making.  
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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