Help Me Gather Evidence

Lilmrslay · November 2013

My husband and I are in discussions about whether to TTC #2 baby. Part of me thinks we are 1 and done due to life circumstances (our age, the trouble we had getting our little girl, the fact we are just so grateful for her, and we also have my step son) but I also love the idea of another baby and have only child concerns. On the flip side, I also just feel like I want to pour everything into my little girl and enjoy her and her big brother. Ultimately we'll make our decision but I wondered about how others felt about their family make up and if they would have had it differently if they could.

CaliforniaDream87 · November 2013

petey1106 said:
I'm one of four and can't imagine not giving LO sibling(s)!

This. I had so much fun with my siblings growing up when they weren't getting on my nerves. We will start TTC for #2 12/14. GL with your decision!

janneann1127 · November 2013

I voted SS. Technically I'm a middle child. But to make a long story short, my parents separated me & my older brother when we were young (I was 4) and they divorced. We each lived with a parent, and not in the same state. When I was 10, my mom remarried and had my sister. So, I spent most of my life as an only child. I will tell you that I LOVED it. It was me and my mom mostly and I was always happy with that. I had a lot of cousins that we saw constantly so I definitely had a lot of social interaction, but I like how quiet and peaceful my home existence was.

Now that I'm older though, I like that I have my siblings and know that they will be there when my parents are gone. I think that whatever you choose, you will make it work and your child/children will be happy no matter what.

BellaOso · November 2013

I have a brother and I stupid, crazy, love him. He makes me mad sometimes and we fought sometimes when we were little over silly things but most of the time he was my best friend. When he moved to LA when I was 18 and he was 19, every time I got a break at college I drove down to be with him. We were lonely for the unconditional love of a sibling. Someone who knows your parents are nuts, remembers the medication the family dog took, knows where the G I Joe graveyard is in the yard, etc.

I know not every sibling relationship is magical, but mine was. My brother would jump in front of car for me or my daughters. If I don't send him a pic of them at least 5 days a week I get a text that says - ???Where's my pics???

My girls are 3.5 months and 19 months and you can already see that my DD1 is madly in love with DD2. She tries to carry her and she says, "Pat, pat, pat" and pats her back to help burp her. Today she grabbed the chiropractor's hands and tried to pull her away when DD2 was crying during her adjustment. And DD2 stares at her. When she is fussy all DD1 has to do is come over and look at her and she starts smiling.

I think siblings are the bee's knees. But I know lots of amazing only children as well.

karabear11 · November 2013

I voted one of two and hated it but my sistet was born when I was 10. I was an only child for so long and was used to it, so when my sister came it was very difficult to share the attention. I love her obviously and we are friends now that we are both adults but we had a tough few years.. I want to give LO a sibling but more like two years apart instead!

nnikki10 · November 2013

Oldest of three and I love it. Growing up I was close to my brother and as we've gotten older I've grown closer to my sister ( she's younger by 5 years).

If DH and I won the lotto I would have at least four LOs running around. Right now we are thinking one or two more.

thoughtfulmommy · November 2013

I have two sisters and love them. I love having two best friends who will always be there for me. My DH is super close to his sister as well and I love how he respects and cares for her so much. We both want more than one child. I loved the dynamic of three and he wishes he had more than one sibling so we will hopefully have three.

When your parents are no longer around, your siblings are there for you.

rh10264706 · November 2013

She's not really an only child if she has a half brother, your stepson. My brother is adopted and I never ever considered myself an only child just bc I was the only biological child.

EricaLee2013 · November 2013

I am an only child and hate not having any siblings. Sure it was nice not having to share but that does not make up for the boredom and loneliness as a child. It's also really hard not having anyone else to help with aging parents that live in separate parts of the country.

We plan on TTC within the next two years. I've never considered having just one child because of my feelings of my own childhood.

Revez · November 2013

I voted snowflake.
I'm the second oldest of 7 kids. I'm the only girl. It was miserable. My older brother was EXTREMELY abusive and I've decided I don't need that in my life and haven't talked to him in years. My younger brothers are mentally disabled. I don't resent them, but a lot of my parents time went into helping my brothers cope so I was on my own a lot and had to raise myself. My parents did their best, but I feel like I could have enjoyed my childhood a lot more if things were different.

I'm very jealous of all you ladies that have good relationships with your siblings. That must be really awesome.

CourtJack · November 2013

I've got two siblings. We got along ok growing up but as we got older we drifted apart. I barely talk to either of them. They've made some bad decisions and are rude to my parents. No time for that. I'm sure I have some blame in not maintaining the relationship. But what's done is done.

ktballz · November 2013

I am the oldest of 5 and love it now. The first 4 of us are six years apart and it is so much fun to have babies with my sisters. From ages 7-13 I really wanted to be an only child but my mom kept telling me that one day we would all love each other. My littlest brother is 11 and it is so much fun to have him be close in age to my kids, he is such an amazing uncle.

Coconuthead · November 2013

I voted special snowflake. I am 3rd of seven children and while I now appreciate all my siblings I think it was a little less fun when I was a kid. I didn't really have a sibling buddy. My older sister and brother were sibling buddies, my younger twin sisters of course, and then our youngest two brothers. I love all my siblings but none of them are my best friend.

Katie6202 · November 2013

Youngest of 3 girls and my sisters are my BFFs, I love that me and one of my sisters were KU together. I can't wait to give Maeve the same relationship w her siblings one day

bluegirl0429 · November 2013

Technically, I am the first out of two.

However, I have two older step siblings that were added in the mix during my teen years. So now I am the third out of four.

I loved it though. I was quite the mother figure to my brother who is two years younger than me. I want LO to have at least one sibling but I could go for two. But DH wants two kids not three. So we will see.

Good Luck with whatever decision you make. :-)

Wjoyner08 · November 2013

I'm a SS, my sis is almost nine years younger so I was an OC for the first half and one of two the second. It's hard to say which is better, I do love having my sis now even if she is just 17 lol!

girlmama83 · November 2013

I have to be honest, I'm an only child and I hated it growing up. My parents had a shitty relationship and I always wished I had someone else who felt the same way I did who was going through the same things as me. It made me feel lonely.

julianndelaney · November 2013

I have a sister who is five years younger. We went through the ringer when I went through puberty and she was still a little kid. Once she "became a woman" her and I became inseparable. We've gone through a couple rough patches in adulthood, but ultimately she is my little love, I have made an effort to realize I am her sister. Not her mother. I can't be jealous that my parents really love her more

. And she has proven already to be an amazing aunt. My husband is an only child and while I don't think he minded it either way (never really close with his parents) he is sad now that his son only gets one aunt when he had 5 uncles and two aunts and loved that so much. So you even think ahead that far! If you have an only child your grand babies may not have uncles and aunts! Which leaves you as grandma to spoil them more I guess

!

MommyKristin88 · November 2013

I am one of 7. I can't imagine life as an only child. Seems boring and lonely.

BelhurstBride · November 2013

I voted two or more and hated it, though I didn't really hate it. It just wasn't fantastic enough of an experience to be the deciding factor on how many children I would have. My sister and I have about as opposite of personalities as possible. We never really got along and if we weren't family you definitely would never find us hanging out.

Actually... maybe it did play in to my family plans. I was all set with being one and done. DH is the one who wanted more children.

MagPie 1986 · November 2013

I voted special snowflake because my brother and I are 9 years apart. For the first 9 years of my life, I was an only child and hated it. I loved having a brother but was always envious of other kids that had siblings close in age to them.

MommyAmes2 · November 2013

I have 1 sister. She is 5 years younger and my best friend. We fought a lot growing up, but now we are inseparable. We have 3 kids. I would have more if we had another bedroom (we don't room share)

RoosterMemphis · November 2013

I have 1 brother. I didn't love it or hate it. It was was it was.

LokiLahve · November 2013

EricaLee2013 said:

I am an only child and hate not having any siblings. Sure it was nice not having to share but that does not make up for the boredom and loneliness as a child. It's also really hard not having anyone else to help with aging parents that live in separate parts of the country. We plan on TTC within the next two years. I've never considered having just one child because of my feelings of my own childhood.

having siblings doesn't guarantee help with aging parents. I have a younger sister and dh is the youngest of 4....we will likely be taking care of both of our parents when the time comes.
That being said...I'm so glad I have my sister...big families are the best IMO.

BabyE143 · November 2013

I'm a middle child. There's a 10+ age gap between my older siblings (brother and sister) and I. There's only a 2 year age difference between my younger sister and I. Quite honestly the age gap is no issue for us.

We have our differences but I would do anything for my siblings. I'm super protective over them.

We have different dads my older siblings dad died when they were young. My younger sister and I's dad is non-existent. Now that our mom is gone, we have each other to lean on and I am so grateful to have them in my life.

Lilmrslay · November 2013

rh10264706 said:
She's not really an only child if she has a half brother, your stepson. My brother is adopted and I never ever considered myself an only child just bc I was the only biological child.

I kind of agree, although they are 9 years apart so it won't be that many years before LO would be on her own with us. She also has an even older half brother who is 20 years older than her but he's in the UK.

Plus, I have 6 half and step siblings, (plus 1 full brother) and I'm not close with any of them so I wonder if it would be the same for LO.

kanned0121 · November 2013

CaliforniaDream87 said:

I'm one of four and can't imagine not giving LO sibling(s)!
This. I had so much fun with my siblings growing up when they weren't getting on my nerves. We will start TTC for #2 12/14. GL with your decision!

Same for us! Except, I have four siblings and LOVE it! Its so fun having sisters and brothers to hang out with. Its crazy that we'll be TTC in a year from now!

Lindsaym5! · November 2013

I'm a lurker so hopefully you don't mind me joining in. I'm an only child and I had a great childhood. My parents were able to always give me their full attention and I feel I had a lot of opportunities because of it. I am very close with my parents to this day. The only negative is what some pp's mentioned about being the only one when my parents are older. I worry about that sometimes.

Marvel1013 · November 2013

I have a sister who is 3 years older. Like others have said, we had fighting gmatches.. There was always a fight about who stole who's clothes. Now we are weiously best friends. She's been living in Australia for about 4 years and I've only seen her once but I talk to her everyday and miss her SOO much

BelhurstBride · November 2013

LokiLahve said:

EricaLee2013 said:

I am an only child and hate not having any siblings. Sure it was nice not having to share but that does not make up for the boredom and loneliness as a child. It's also really hard not having anyone else to help with aging parents that live in separate parts of the country. We plan on TTC within the next two years. I've never considered having just one child because of my feelings of my own childhood.

having siblings doesn't guarantee help with aging parents. I have a younger sister and dh is the youngest of 4....we will likely be taking care of both of our parents when the time comes.
That being said...I'm so glad I have my sister...big families are the best IMO.

Agreed. DH has two sisters but I don't doubt that we'll be on our own when it comes to helping his parents. His one sister is in Ireland and the other isn't much of a giver.

LJUTCMommy · November 2013

I'm the oldest of 6. I am very close to one sister, but no one else. We are 2.5 years apart.

I had very young parents who couldn't handle or afford that many children, so the constant stress made me hate it. However, I would have probably been ok if it was just the 2 of us.

Ruger04 · November 2013

I'm one of 11 and loved it in saying that we are one and done. I love my siblings but we missed out on a lot of things because there where so many of us. Me and dh always said one and done.

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