Attending a birthday party...

nuttycoconut · November 2013

Do you get the birthday boy/girl a gift from each child? Or one gift from the family? We attended a party over the weekend and my friends had very mixed opinions on this.

24karat · November 2013

Haven't run into this yet myself, but I'd be inclined to only do one gift from the family. All the birthday parties I ever went to as a kid attending siblings gave a gift jointly...I don't think multiples should be any different.

anakah · November 2013

We give one gift per family.

whitehousem · November 2013

One gift from the family. When people come to my kids' bday parties I don't expect multiple gifts from one family bc they have more than one child. Weird... When you go to a wedding, you and your date/SO don't each get the couple a gift...

carrotcake06 · November 2013

Follow up question: if you only brought one gift, would you spend more than if only one child attended the party?

This would apply for multiples as well as siblings, I assume.

24karat · November 2013

Also, I really hope it wasn't the hostess/birthday kid's parent who was giving you a hard time. That kind of gift-grabby attitude disgusts me and, if it was the child's parent, I would probably decline future party invites and send a small gift. While I always bring a gift to parties, I would never feel entitled to one or keep tallies when I have a party. Gifts are gifts...not the admission price to an event.

LucyRicardo3 · November 2013

carrotcake06 said:

Follow up question: if you only brought one gift, would you spend more than if only one child attended the party? This would apply for multiples as well as siblings, I assume.

It depends on the relationship with the host or birthday child. If it's family or a long-time friend, sometimes I give a "theme" gift from the family, ie dress up or garden sets with different accessories, or if it's just one item, I might up the budget by $15 or so.
If it's a classmate and your kids are invited because all 25 kids were invited, but you really don't know the kid, I probably wouldn't feel obligated to spend as much compared to a longer friendship.

From the other perspective....My oldest DD was invited to a set of G/G twins' party from her Kindergarten class a few weeks ago, as everyone from the class was invited. She's only known them for this school year, so I bought slightly different age-appropriate craft sets for each girl, but I bought them on clearance, so I didn't spend nearly as much out of pocket but they were still nice gifts. I wouldn't have sent only one gift for that party unless it was something they could obviously share and would have spent the same total amount as if I were buying for two different parties.

nuttycoconut · November 2013

kjkarats03 said:

Also, I really hope it wasn't the hostess/birthday kid's parent who was giving you a hard time. That kind of gift-grabby attitude disgusts me and, if it was the child's parent, I would probably decline future party invites and send a small gift. While I always bring a gift to parties, I would never feel entitled to one or keep tallies when I have a party. Gifts are gifts...not the admission price to an event.

It was a secret FB group I'm in for multiples in my area. About 10 people said it was one gift per child. Ugh. I hope it's not a "thing" in my area. When I have my twins' first birthday party I do not want or expect one gift per child attending.

nuttycoconut · November 2013

whitehousem said:

One gift from the family. When people come to my kids' bday parties I don't expect multiple gifts from one family bc they have more than one child. Weird... When you go to a wedding, you and your date/SO don't each get the couple a gift...

I agree with the birthday party part but in my area (NY area) we kind of do give a gift from each person attending. I'd give double the amount of $ if my husband and I were attending vs. if I attended alone. I guess it's the whole "pay for your plate" mentality.

nuttycoconut · November 2013

carrotcake06 said:

Follow up question: if you only brought one gift, would you spend more than if only one child attended the party? This would apply for multiples as well as siblings, I assume.

I wanted to spend $25 from my twins but ended up spending about $35 because I felt a little cheap about it. I asked this question in a local multiples FB group and unfortunately I was in the minority for thinking I only needed 1 gift.

nuttycoconut · November 2013

LucyRicardo3 said:

carrotcake06 said:

Follow up question: if you only brought one gift, would you spend more than if only one child attended the party? This would apply for multiples as well as siblings, I assume.

It depends on the relationship with the host or birthday child. If it's family or a long-time friend, sometimes I give a "theme" gift from the family, ie dress up or garden sets with different accessories, or if it's just one item, I might up the budget by $15 or so.
If it's a classmate and your kids are invited because all 25 kids were invited, but you really don't know the kid, I probably wouldn't feel obligated to spend as much compared to a longer friendship.

From the other perspective....My oldest DD was invited to a set of G/G twins' party from her Kindergarten class a few weeks ago, as everyone from the class was invited. She's only known them for this school year, so I bought slightly different age-appropriate craft sets for each girl, but I bought them on clearance, so I didn't spend nearly as much out of pocket but they were still nice gifts. I wouldn't have sent only one gift for that party unless it was something they could obviously share and would have spent the same total amount as if I were buying for two different parties.

Yeah, for a twin bday party I'll get both kids a gift because it is like attending 2 parties. Unless my kids are older and only know 1 of the siblings because they are in different classes.

LottaLattes · November 2013

I give a gift from each child for my older kids if they both attend (sometimes the birthday kid has a sib that knows the other) or will get a nicer gift. I don't think of it as being admission but they do spend more money to have both kids. And most people here seem to do about the same, whether twins or single sibs.

LottaLattes · November 2013

And in general I spend $15-20 on gifts.

nuttycoconut · November 2013

LottaLattes said:

I give a gift from each child for my older kids if they both attend (sometimes the birthday kid has a sib that knows the other) or will get a nicer gift. I don't think of it as being admission but they do spend more money to have both kids. And most people here seem to do about the same, whether twins or single sibs.

By any chance do you live in the Northeast? It seems like we are from a similar area. I know when the kids get a little older I'll probably end up doing this too.

LottaLattes · November 2013

nuttycoconut said:

LottaLattes said:

I give a gift from each child for my older kids if they both attend (sometimes the birthday kid has a sib that knows the other) or will get a nicer gift. I don't think of it as being admission but they do spend more money to have both kids. And most people here seem to do about the same, whether twins or single sibs.

By any chance do you live in the Northeast? It seems like we are from a similar area. I know when the kids get a little older I'll probably end up doing this too.

Opposite coast! I am in WA state, but have done this on both sides of the country.

kgs0505 · November 2013

I'm planning on having a birthday party for all three of my kids on the same day. Their birthdays are two weeks apart, exactly, so we'll have one party in the middle. We have family that lives and hour or more away, so travelling twice would be difficult.

Now, do I expect everyone to bring a gift for all three kids? Hell no! As pp stated, my kids don't really need that many gifts. They already have so much stuff! So if one family wants to give all three one gift, so be it. It's not like they won't all play with it anyway. I don't want people going broke coming to a birthday party. Gifts are not the goal, celebrating the fact that these little people are here on this earth and bring joy to those around them, that is the goal.

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