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June 2014 Moms
lellymine
member
In-law not interested-long UPDATE
lellymine
member
My ILs have been bugging me to have children for 8 years. When we told them I was having fertility issues we found out later that my MIL had announced it to her church and got lots of sympathy for her but was pretty rotten about it to us. Basically saying that I brought it upon myself because I waited so long to start trying. (I'm 29 now)
When we told them we were expecting I thought they'd be excited after all the grief they'd given us but it was really a lukewarm reaction. We called after our 1st ultrasound to see if they wanted to hear how it went but they said they were going out to dinner and didn't want to wait.
They still haven't asked about. Which shouldn't surprise me since they haven't asked a single time how I'm doing despite talking to both DH and I multiple times since announcing.
I realize that nobody is/should be as excited as us but it kinda hurts my feelings that we've been trying so long and they couldn't care less. Do any of your ILs seem totally uninterested about your pregnancy?
UPDATE:
We had our second ultrasound and have a recording of the heartbeat but the same thing happened with her. I think everyone on here is right. This is just the way it's going to be and I'm going to need to get support from others instead. Thank you all for your replies and excitement
When we told them we were expecting I thought they'd be excited after all the grief they'd given us but it was really a lukewarm reaction. We called after our 1st ultrasound to see if they wanted to hear how it went but they said they were going out to dinner and didn't want to wait.
They still haven't asked about. Which shouldn't surprise me since they haven't asked a single time how I'm doing despite talking to both DH and I multiple times since announcing.
I realize that nobody is/should be as excited as us but it kinda hurts my feelings that we've been trying so long and they couldn't care less. Do any of your ILs seem totally uninterested about your pregnancy?
UPDATE:
We had our second ultrasound and have a recording of the heartbeat but the same thing happened with her. I think everyone on here is right. This is just the way it's going to be and I'm going to need to get support from others instead. Thank you all for your replies and excitement
This discussion has been closed.
Re: In-law not interested-long UPDATE
I'm sorry your ILs are treating you like that.
I don't even know what to expect from mine, which is why we aren't in any hurry to tell them. We aren't very close to my ILs - my husband talks to them maybe once a month, if that - because they are just strange, manipulative people who always turn things into being about them, which is what I am sure will happen when we share our news. My MIL is basically like a town gossip so once we tell her, the whole world will know, which is another reason why we're holding back for now.
You've got the right idea though, you and your hubby are excited and that's all that matters. I know it probably still stings that they gave you a crappy response especially knowing all you guys went through, but hopefully you have other friends and family that will be more supportive and will share in your excitement.
О Привязать! Z!
I'm sorry your in-laws are acting like a-holes. I don't believe we have a right to expect certain reactions from people in general, but this is one case where they could be doing a whole lot better by you right now.
Devil's advocate: Is it at all possible they are afraid of getting too excited in case something bad happens?
If so, it doesn't excuse what they're doing, but it might make you feel better to realize it may not be a "personal" thing, if you know what I mean. Some people just don't know healthy ways to deal with their emotions.
I am now 12w3d & she is actually starting to come around. Be patient, give them time & rely on your other friends & family! I am SO EXCITED for you btw
But seriously they will come around. Maybe they are afraid to get too excited about it. I am sure with some time they will come around.
Congrats!
I didn't have any of the issues to deal with...my husband and I just got married at the end of May and that's when we started trying. We got, eh, interesting reactions from both parents though.
His mother acted like we told her we had just bought new curtains or something-- "Oh, isn't that nice."
We told my father when we went to visit him for his birthday. We got him a special grampa card, put an ultrasound picture in it and signed it, "The new baby" He opened it, stared at it for a minute, looking befuddled, said, "Oh my god" (not in an excited sort of tone, mind you) closed the card, set it down and said, "Show that to Laura, she'll get a kick out of that." (Laura is my step-bitch, *ahem* step-mother, who hates me) She came over, picked it up and read it and goes, "Oh. Wow. OK." just blankly staring at the card. I guess she realized she was being rude, threw this completely fake smile on her face, put one arm around my shoulders and said, "Congratulations".
Aside from my husband and best friend, the most excitement I've gotten came from my hairdresser. Even when I announced it on FB by posting an ultrasound picture, all I got was 4 or 5 'likes'. That was it. No nothing. Nice, huh...?
My mil doesn't know yet. Hubby doesn't want to tell her until after first tri since we had a MMC in feb. my mil is 80. I know she said before that if she was younger she would help us out with child care which is so nice but at her age now she can't even take care of herself let alone a baby. It was sweet that she wishes she could.
I so hope your mil turns around for you. Maybe dh can talk to her to see why she is like the way she is?