Community› The Bump Month Clubs› September 2012 Moms
September 2012 Moms
New Discussion

Trusting your instincts?

mamaHippo23mamaHippo23 member
in September 2012 Moms
I'm curious- How often do you ladies rely on your "gut" as a guide in making difficult parenting decisions? Especially those who are more analytical and usually go with logic, rather than emotions, to guide decisions. I've recently been struggling with a really complicated situation involving my ex exposing our son to on-going dangerous circumstances during their visits, and if I intervene it will cause some seriously hurt feelings. I finally decided yesterday to forget about all the other considerations and just go with my instinct to protect my kid no matter what. I realize now that it would've saved me a lot of confusion if I had just listened to my inner mommy voice right away, but it makes me nervous to rely on that when there's a lot at stake. I don't have a partner or anyone who can help me w/ these decisions, so it's even scarier knowing that it's all up to me. Do you feel comfortable trusting your instincts when making hard, complicated choices about your kids? Is it something that gets easier with experience?
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: Trusting your instincts?

  • AKB090609AKB090609 member
    I would say that I go with my gut 99% of the time. Sure I weigh all the options and try to remove any emotions/fear, but after that I tend to go with my gut.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • melody921melody921 member
    I think you have to trust your gut. You feel the way you do for a reason, and at the end of the day, insulting someone should be less of a worry than keeping your LO safe. I can say that yes, it gets easier over time and also you'll realize when you can afford to lighten up a little and when you need to stand your ground. For me, anything involving safety is non-negotiable.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • PokedotPokedot member
    AKB090609 said:
    I would say that I go with my gut 99% of the time. Sure I weigh all the options and try to remove any emotions/fear, but after that I tend to go with my gut.

    Same as above! Years ago I dated a douchebag to say the least. He was into drugs and getting mixed up with the wrong people. I didn't want to believe it and stayed with him for 7 years. My gut was telling me not to be with him. I didn't listen and then after 7 years I woke up and realized what was going on! Since then I trust my instincts on anything. I realized that this was my life (or my child's) and only I (and DH) can make the right decisions for him until he can make his own.

     

     

    Report Reply
  • mrsbhk22mrsbhk22 member
    edited November 2013
    The longer I'm a mom, the more I go with my gut. I'm a super type A logical person, but with parenting, I've found that my gut serves me better than anything else.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • juliane2004juliane2004 member
    Trust your gut. There's a reason we have that mother-ly instinct. GL.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimage
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • watercolor5watercolor5 member
    When it comes to child safety, or exposing my child to something that makes me uncomfortable, I'll absolutely go with my gut.  You almost always feel uncomfortable about a situation for a reason, and if I wait to analyze what that reason is, or the validity of how I'm feeling, my child could be exposed to a bad situation longer. 
    Report Reply
  • hmp1hmp1 member
    I'm a researcher but even that just brings up more questions as there are a 100 different ways to do something so I just go with my gut of what I think is best for us. As far as the kids' dad, when DH is doing something I don't like I have to think is it just something I don't like or would do differently or is it something that could truly be harmful. If harmful, I intervene immediately. If it is just something I don't like, I tell him but I am not going to make a big deal about it. Part of the pick your battles thing.

    James Sawyer 12.3.10
    Leo Richard 9.20.12 
    image

    Report Reply
  • mamaHippo23mamaHippo23 member

    Thank you for all the encouragement, I feel so much better. Despite being a very deliberate thinker otherwise, when it comes to parenting I actually find it a relief to be able to go with my  instincts, especially when other people involved have conflicting opinions. My ex, his older brother, and my older brother all live together and my ex cares for W 2x/week while I work. His brother uses hard, intravenous drugs in their home and I said I am not comfortable with our son going over there or being exposed to that lifestyle in any way. They are all going against me and think I'm being unreasonable. My brother actually said: "Trust me, you don't have to worry. He's different than most junkies, he doesn't act like what you think." Hahahaha, okay right that makes me feel a lot better. Like PP said, when it comes to safety concerns, sorry there are no exceptions.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"