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July 2012 Moms
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WWJ12D? (Pregnancy edition)

apollonia10apollonia10 member
in July 2012 Moms
We found out that we're having a boy a week ago, and we've been enjoying the secret since then. I was going to wait until the anatomy scan and act like we found out there (since they'd confirm it), but I've been thinking about telling the family on Thankgiving. My dad will be overjoyed; he has all daughter and has loved having DS around. My grandma will also be thrilled, and I didn't get to tell her about DS being a boy in person last time. 

The thing is, my mom is going to be disappointed, and she tends to be very emotional. She wants the baby to be a girl SO BAD, since this is our last one and my sisters are nowhere near having kids. DH thinks that Thanksgiving is not a good time to do this, since she might get emotional about it. But I really want to tell my dad and grandma. It's not possible to just tell them (even though my parents are divorced and this will be 2 different celebrations) because it would get back to my mom in a second. The next time I see my grandma in person will be Christmas.

Would you wait and tell people over the phone, or would you tell on Thanksgiving?
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Re: WWJ12D? (Pregnancy edition)

  • hokiemama06hokiemama06 member

    Tell them at Thanksgiving.  We just went through this and told our family over the phone for sheer logistics, and most weren't thrilled that it was a boy (even though we were), but everyone was polite enough to be happy for us.  We focused on the folks who were super excited and laughed about the disappointed reaction from others.  Don't let your mom rain on your parade - enjoy everyone else's joy and shake off the less than positive reactions. 

     

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  • apollonia10apollonia10 member
    zpanjwani said:
    Even if she were to be slightly upset that you're not having a girl, would she likely show it?  I just can't wrap my head around being so upset that a baby is not the particular sex of choice.  I don't know her, but I can't see a grandmother get 'upset' and ruin a family holiday over it.
    I think she'd be all "Oh, great!" and then mope the rest of the day. That's best case scenario; she might cry. She has a lot of problems regulating her emotions - everything is AMAZING or TERRIBLE. It's one reason we have a hard time getting along. 
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  • lkamenkolkamenko member
    I would preffer to tell in person. Thanksgiving is a perfect time to share the joyfull news. Your mom should be able to hold her dissapointment.
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  • bumpuser1509193bumpuser1509193 member
    Tell them at thanksgiving. Unfortunately you can't control others' reactions or feelings. I hope your mom gets over her shelfishness quickly and can join in on all the excitement.
    "Parenting is a constant struggle between making your kid's live better and ruining your own." Willie Robertson, 'Duck Dynasty'
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  • ThePinkSuperheroThePinkSuperhero member
    I'm going to go against the crowd and say you should consider telling Mom in a way that gives her an opportunity to pout/be emotional in private.  If you know she's emotional, setting her up to fail in front of you is not going to be fun for anyone.
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  • ViveVive member
    Tell your mum by phone just a little before the celebration with your dad and grandma.

    That way you don't have to stick around to hear her emotional response (because your guests are arriving and you need to go) and she can't complain you didn't tell her first. And then you can enjoy having told your grandmother in person. I would be nervous that if I didn't tell grandmother as soon as possible she might not make the next opportunity.
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  • ashleynakaashleynaka member
    I second @mrsrek10!
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  • apollonia10apollonia10 member
    Thanks for your feedback ladies! I think I will tell on Thanksgiving, and make an effort to tell my mom in private. She is being difficult about the holidays this year, and I'm hoping this doesn't add to the drama, but I'd love to tell my dad and grandma in person!
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