Community› The Bump Month Clubs› June 2013 Moms
June 2013 Moms
New Discussion

Want your bad romance

TheTamedShrewTheTamedShrew member
in June 2013 Moms
Who is managing to keep the romance alive, despite sleep deprivation, adjustments, petty arguments, work, weird body image, low libido, & all other things baby related?? How?

I have to admit I'm jealous of all you ladies who's husbands want sex all the time. DH and I had a date last night. It was...fine/okay. No fireworks, candlelight, or sweet nothings, but we did laugh, kiss a few times, and hold hands. We had dinner at our fave sushi place and then coffee and dessert. It was nice, but it's hard to get into the romantic groove when you only have a couple of hours and you're both tired. I tried to get affectionate and talk about non-baby topics or bills or mundane, everyday things. I felt like my efforts weren't really reciprocated. I even offered some "extra" affection in the car before we headed back. He said he was too full from dinner and then spent the car ride home lecturing me for forgetting to lock my car and how I always turn the thermostat too high. Really DH? Really?? Are you my fucking dad or my lover, best friend, and life partner? You really want to spend any part of our precious alone time nagging me about stupid sh*t?? I just miss the days when my husband couldn't keep his hands off. I know I sound like a terrible cliche. I'm just tired of being wanted once every couple of weeks.

Anyone else having trouble keeping the fire alive?
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Anniversary       


Report Reply to Post

Re: Want your bad romance

  • FunkyPhoenixFunkyPhoenix member
    I've thrown it at DH a few times and he does nothing. It's a major blow to my self esteem but I just have to think he's a tired and stressed as me and that's why... IDK. Hopefully when LO starts sleeping better and we are more rested we can put a little more effort into that category. In the meantime, I'd say we DTD every 7-10 days. Sometimes more like 2 weeks. I'd prefer if he were chasing me around the house but whataya gonna do...
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • nikel13nikel13 member

    There isn't really a romance like it was anymore, but I feel that there is something different there.  We didn't have a whole lot of romance to begin with.  It was more like, "Want to do it?" "Yeah, sure.", and then we did it.  Unless we were tired.  I do miss having time to talk and think and it not be about baby.  That being said, I think things are different because we have a different kind of love and respect for each other that I wouldn't change for the world.

      image
    AnniversaryBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mrsmichigandermrsmichigander member
    I'm finding it hard not to sound like his mother instead of lover. I suppose the first step is awareness. I keep thinking if sleep regression gets the boot I can tend to other things that should be up in the night instead.
    Report Reply
  • megaroo64megaroo64 member
    I basically could have written this about our situation.  We had date day on Sunday, and the whole time it seemed like we were hanging out as buddies.  I know I am struggling with a super low libido, but H is not helping the situation at all.  I told him that I need him to initiate a little and he said "we don't have to do it just cause everyone else is" Ummm.. what!!?  Last night, I ending up just confronting him about the whole situation and how basically I felt like we were becoming roommates and how his comment kinda hurt my feelings- he said that he just thought that I was putting pressure on myself, but I wasn't ready.. umm.. no. I just want my husband bacK!  HOpefully, things will look up tonight... but there was no immediate change... we'll see
    image image
    Bennett Andrew- 6/4/13      Nora Elizabeth - 10/3/14
    Report Reply
  • freesia12freesia12 member
    edited November 2013
    OMG..all your DH's stay up so late!! Last night, DH went to bed at 7:45!!!!!!! He does that all the freakin time.  He does have to get up at 5:15, but even going to bed at 9:30 would give him a sufficient amount of sleep.  I'm married to a Grandpa and that is why we don't have sex.  Most times the baby isn't even asleep when he goes to bed!

    Shark Attack!!

    photo IMG_20130912_203149_226_zpsa547059c.jpg Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Report Reply
  • HeartLikeMine3HeartLikeMine3 member
    Things have been better now that we have moved LO to his room And have our room back. We still don't do it as often as we did pre baby but like you said exhaustion will do that to you. My DH wants to more than me I feel bad when I shut him down but sleep still feels better than sex!
    image
    Report Reply
  • llbta85llbta85 member
    While I was single with DS, I would say it was around a year until I felt like I had extra time to attend to myself, someone other than baby, etc.  So as it goes with the sleep, give it time.  Things should improve for our husbands and ourselves.  A child is a huge life altering event and it takes time for everyone to adjust.
    Report Reply
  • Ryanswifey619Ryanswifey619 member
    What is this romance you speak of??

    DH has been going out hunting on the weekends and during the week, he sleeps, gets up and we have time with dd before he does to work all night. We may have only dtd a few times in the past months
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"