Community› The Bump Message Boards› Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
New Discussion

Day Care or School affect on Child

FlMarriedCplFlMarriedCpl member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

1. Because me and my wife work, and we have no relatives to help take care of our little one, we decided to put her in a Reggio Emilia school. I kinda call it day care on steroids because the kids are separated by age and there are actual teachers with multiple teaching assistans with degrees who look after the kids. We've seen a HUGE jump in her when it comes to just doing stuff, speaking etc. So in that regard we are happy. Obviously the whole sick factor went up 100%. Her first year of life she was at home with a nanny; whom went back to Ecuador. I'm starting to ramble...

Anyways, my wife came home yesterday and told me that this week, when she gets ready to leave, she gives her a kiss, tells her to have a good day and leaves (She's 15 months old). Usually she either doesn't care or maybe cries some but now she literally gives her a 'i'm angry look and gonna cry' face to her. My wife put it as "How dare you leave me here" kinda look. Granted shes been going here since August so its not anything new for her. Now when my wife gets home  the little one almost kinda of pulls away from her at first. Almost like she doesn't want to be around her. No hugs, kisses and even last night she was sitting with her and when my wife asked "Kisses for the mama" the LO literally pushed her face away and said "No Mama". Now my wife is all depressed that her daughter is starting to realize she is being left by her and its going to affect her long term and she's going to hate her in the long run; which i think is a little dramatic. Anyone else here have experiences like this? or Comments?


Report Reply to Post

Re: Day Care or School affect on Child

  • EMOmammaEMOmamma member
    edited November 2013
    :( It hurts but it's a really normal phase.  Both of my kids have gone through phases where they want me all the time and when they are really independent.  At 15months she is just figuring out how independent she can be (now that she can walk well, communicate, etc) so she's just pushing some limits.  
    Maybe the long holiday weekend (if you're in the US) will help.  I bet it will pass within a few weeks, if not sooner.  

    ETA - I love our daycare, the kids have really thrived and right now my husband is home with them but my 3 year old keeps asking when he can go back to school. 

    image   image


    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    This is far less a daycare issue and much more a typical stage that most kids go through.  If she's in a safe environment that she enjoys, she isn't going to be negatively impacted by going to daycare - promise :)  Kids will waffle between seeming devastated that you'd dare leave their side to having a fall down tantrum because they don't want to leave that awesome place when you come pick them up.  Both phases suck but they're both normal :)
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

    image
    Report Reply
  • cattyninecattynine member
    I find it funny that you call that daycare "daycare on steroids". That's a normal daycare center around here and all the teachers have degrees.  Maybe you're just comparing it to home daycares where there aren't as many kids and therefore not separated by age. Anyway- DD LOVES her daycare, but some days she looks sad when I leave and other days she couldn't care less. Typical toddler I think.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member
    Yup.  There are days when DS would sob and cling on to my legs and the DC teachers have to peel him off, and there are days DS would run into his class without looking back.  I think it'd be the same regardless of whether your child goes to a center, has a nanny, or has a relative babysit her.  Just yesterday when I went to pick up DS, he clung on to his teacher and I told him to come give me a hug, he shouted "no!"  But two minutes later, he wanted to be picked up and wanted gave me a kiss.  Little kids are unpredictable.
    Report Reply
  • smc008smc008 member

    My sister and I use the same daycare and our kids are 2 months apart.  Her DS cycles just like my DD on how they react to drop off.  They usually drop him off first and I get there 5 minutes later.  Their son will ball, scream, and cling to them when they drop off these days and then I will see him laughing and playing 1 minute later after they have left... the point being, kids know they can work mom and dad... but they get over it just as quickly.  Daycare will not scar her for life!

    Report Reply
  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member
    Our 16 month old acts the same way.  She is testing the boundaries of her new found independance!  SHe started not going to DH.  NOw, when I pick her up from daycare she runs away where she used to run in to my arms.  I miss my hugs but I'm happy to know she is developing her confidence and independance.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"