frequent wakings. vent/advice?

singingsea · November 2013

For the past week and a half he's been waking up a lot at night. Last night it was at midnight then again at 3am where he was up for the day wide awake

We did modified CIO where I came in occasionally to check up on him.

I don't know what the deal is.

Bedtime is between 7-8pm. Then anywhere between two to four wakings (on a bad night). Gets up between 6-7am. I was trying to night wean him. We went from giving him an 8oz bottle to a 4oz. He is capable of sleeping through the night and has done it in the past. I'm trying to figure out if moving his bedtime back to between 8-8:30 would make a difference. Ugh I don't know if he's going through a phase or teething or developmental stuff.

I mean it's all a crap shoot really. We will never really know what the heck is going on with our kids. Can't wait till he can talk and actually tell me what he needs cause ma ma sucks at this guessing game

kelly321 · November 2013

It's awful not being able to really communicate with them and explain to them why it would make so much more sense for them to just sleep!!! I feel your pain.
You can always try messing with bedtime, but according to almost all the experts and in my personal experience, moving bedtime later is actually counterproductive. Before doing anything like moving bedtime, I would just give it a couple of days to see if it's just a short phase due to teething, cold, milestone, whatever one of the 1000 reasons are for them to have brief sleep regressions.

singingsea · November 2013

I think he's going through separation anxiety. Soon as I even open the door to walk out of the room he flips out

I give him hugs and kisses in his crib and tell him it's bedtime but he still loses it.

I feel awful

Puck1182 · November 2013

I posted about this in another thread but we were having major sleep issues which I think may also have web fueled by separation anxiety. She went from sleeping 7-8 hours for her first stretch followed by another 2-3 to waking every couple of hours and wanting to sleep on one of us.

Anyway, we had tried Sleep Lady Shuffle earlier on, but she'd flip out of I was standing next to her crib and not holding her. One night last week out of pure desperation, I moved her crib mattress to the floor and curled up (sort of) on it with her for the next five hours. She fell asleep with me lying next to her no problem.

After that, an idea was born! Add a step to the Sleep Lady Shuffle: mattress on the floor so she can get used to falling asleep next to, but not on, one of us. After she is out cold, (carefully and with two people!!!) move the mattress back into the crib. We are now getting 5-7 hour stretches of sleep, and if she wakes up before that we'be been able to get her to fall asleep without picking her up by playing her favorite songs on our phones while we pat her butt or rub her back.

Later this week we're going to start with the actuall first step of SLS and see how that goes. And since she is so soothed by music, we want to play her favorite songs on a non-stop loop in her room all night so she will hopefully be able to put herself to sleep entirely on her own if she hears the familiar, comforting sounds of Polaris, Ben Folds, Bishop Allen, Tom Lehrer (kid is OBSESSED with "The Elements", I have that darn song almost memorized) and Sean Nelson. Not exactly what one would expect on a lullaby playlist, but whatever, the kid has good taste in music. ;-)

KayLorraine · November 2013

So sorry! Those MOTN wakings are soooo hard. Have you been consistent in what you are doing when he wakes up at night? We struggled with this too and it wasn't till I became consistent about those wakings that it finally got better. Whether it's checking on him every time and then leaving him be, or checking on him every ten minutes until he goes to bed. Also, the early bedtime might help. It's crazy, but it seems the earlier they go to bed, the better they sleep. It's worth a shot! Hang in there!

singingsea · November 2013

I thought I was being consistent. We have bedtime routine that we've been doing since he was about four months. When he wakes I check his diaper. Lay him back in his crib. Give him a kiss and tell him goodnight. If he's still crying after that then maybe he's hungry so he gets a 4oz bottle which puts him back to sleep but that's hit or miss. The thing that throws me is the wake ups aren't at regular intervals that I can time. One night he sleeps all the way till 3am before waking up. Other night's it's 11, then 1 then 3.

It's not that he wants to sleep on us. Seems like he just doesn't want left alone

musicalmama5 · November 2013

Sounds like separation anxiety. Everything I've read about infant sleep says that this is totally normal. Not sure if this is what you wanted to hear, but I think it's one of those things that you just have to get through. I'd give him the snuggles if he needs them. He'll eventually outgrow it.

singingsea · November 2013

Jackigan said:

I'll pick her up and she'll fall asleep on my shoulder and then when I go to put her down she wakes up screaming. Every single time. I think its the 37 or 38 wonder week and now I think I have to redo the sleep training. Ugh, fingers crossed its as easy this time as it was a few months ago... Anyway, you're not alone. I-)

You just described exactly what's going on. Soon as I try to lay him in his crib he wakes up and freaks out.

singingsea · November 2013

musicalmama5 said:

Sounds like separation anxiety. Everything I've read about infant sleep says that this is totally normal. Not sure if this is what you wanted to hear, but I think it's one of those things that you just have to get through. I'd give him the snuggles if he needs them. He'll eventually outgrow it.

You're right he'll probably grow out of it. It can't last forever lol. I think I'm going to keep doing the modified CIO. It allows me to comfort him and at the same time eventually get some sleep because he ends up tiring himself out.

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