NTTGP Related: Vacation Crashers
wishiwaspreggo
member
I have a problem - and I'm wondering if it's unique to my partner and I.
We travel frequently. We rarely splurge on material items (it takes all my power to force myself to spend more than $100 at a time on wardrobe updates and I wait until the items I want are at the most clearance price possible, and I generally don't buy myself anything but books and iTunes). But damn it, we will fly and we will explore.
My problem is whenever we bring up one of our trips, we invevitably get a crasher. "Oh, I've always wanted to see Paris!" "You're going on a cruise? I want to go on a cruise! When are you going?" "I love Wisconsin! I wanna come!"
I guess this happens because we set precendent. When we were younger we'd always invite people to come with us to make it cheaper and we always had a good time. But now that we're older and want our privacy it's less enjoyable to bring a family member and 3 friends along for the ride. Our last trip to WI was kind of ruined because we brought a friend who fought with her husband the entire time. So she's officially blacklisted from any travel plans from here on out.
We recently booked a cruise and I'm terrified to mention it to anyone. Does anyone else have this problem or is it just us? I'm not trying to be a jerk but your vacation changes when you have to accommodate other people and their preferences and schedules. And the people who try to crash our vacations will bend their schedules to fit ours. It drives me nuts.
Re: NTTGP Related: Vacation Crashers
Can't you just tell them that they are not invited? I'd just say it nicely like "Its only a trip for my partner and I".
Baby Boy due October 2017
When we booked that trip, we didn't tell anyone and once it was booked, we told everyone that it was a ROMANTIC trip.
Or you can tell people that it's an anniversary cruise? (Dating anniversary? First Kiss? First time you farted in front of each other?)
I don't have this problem and I find it really odd that anyone would ever ask to come along on a vacation.
We were in the planning stages of our trip to Europe and one of our friends (who has never left Indiana much less left the country) said "You've taken all the other girls on trips and I've always wanted to go. Can I come with you to Europe? I'll pay my own way!"
We were both stunned into silence. We turned her down, of course, but it made us feel super awkward. C's mom ended up coming but that was fine because she could keep up with us (actually out pace us in some regards) and she didn't want to spend every minute with us anyway.
And I wish it was as simple as saying "This is just a trip for us." They don't seem to understand it. These requests are from people who know us really well: either family, or friends close enough to BE family. Like I said, in the past we'd always invite people to come along but... I just want this cruise to be about us. We just won't talk about it at all which kinda sucks because I want to share my excitement but... It is so not worth the risk of having another person invite themselves along. No, I'd never invite myself - but the company we keep definitely will.
Edit: syntax
Who are these people that invite themselves on other people's vacations? How ballsy can a person be?
April 2013: Femara + Trigger + IUI = ???
Their response: "Hey, it's totally cool if we have separate rooms!"
Seriously - I'm out of suggestions. You either grow a pair and tell them NO or you bring them along.
Team Purple!!!!
I mean, FFS, why do people need to wait for other people in order to travel? If you want to go to Europe, go to Europe! Don't piggyback on other people's ideas!
YES!!!!! That's the problem, we're doers, not talkers. And everyone who's a talker says things like "I wish I could go to Europe" and then never take any steps to make the plans. But because we handle the logistics, it's an easy fix for them to just "tag along." It drives me crazy.
I think the best solution is to just not say anything. And then tell them right before. And when they inevitably ask if they can come, we've agreed that it is an emphatic NO.
Either don't tell anyone you are going until the last minute - your cruise will be just as much fun even if you don't get to share your excitement with anybody but your partner beforehand - or figure out how to flat out say "I'm sorry but no, you can't. This is a private getaway for [partner] and myself. I'll give you recommendations when I get back."
You're going on a cruise? I wanna come! PM me the details and I will book it!!!
Ew that feel so awkward to even jokingly say! I hope you can make this a couples only trip. GL.
@BlckRoses: C's mom and stepdad invited us on their honeymoon. In Hawaii. They said they'd put something on the door knob if we're not allowed in.
I sincerely hope they were joking. We gently rejected the offer because... WEIRD.
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
My brother gives me all kinds of shit for this. When we post pictures he'll say something like "Another vacation?" YES. That's what we do. Do you see me carrying a designer purse or dressing myself in fancy clothes? NO. I chose my career for the flexibility and time off. Because I value my time much more than I value money. I spend what I do have on the thing that makes me happiest: travel. And just because we go to cool places doesn't mean we're staying in the best accommodations. We travel steerage for all intents and purposes
But hell, we still get to see what we want to see even if we're sleeping like sardines in a can.
ETA: We're also members of rewards programs so we haven't paid for a flight in years. C and her mom enter costume contests at Halloween specifically for cash and prizes related to travel. This year they won two airline tickets, so our asses are going to San Francisco, baby!