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Working Moms
MommyAtty
member
Smart mouthed comment
MommyAtty
member
in Working Moms
I work in a really, really old, male-dominated industry. In fact, one of the jobs I did, I was the only female in America doing it in my industry. So I put up with a lot of crap just being female. Then I had a baby. Tons of rumors I would quit or ask to go part-time. I didn't. I still kick butt, and now that I'm back to being a lawyer (there are other girl lawyers in my company, thank God!), I've even been promoted post-baby. So just announced I'm having Baby #2. When I got the inevitable question about coming back, my mouth opened, and to my and everyone else's shock, what came out was, "I talked to my OB, and he's assured me that even with a second delivery, he can leave my ambition intact when he pulls out the baby. It's actually quite common these days." Luckily everyone laughed, but probably not my best moment! I would like to blame hormones, but I think it was just me being myself!
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Re: Smart mouthed comment
zachary happens! | little fish
FWIW, I scaled back to PT for about a year after DD was born. I had a number of motivators but "ambition" was not one of them. Maybe I would have been defensive if someone had pointed that out to me at the time, but I also realize that ambition (at least the kind we're talking about here) is not always the be all, end all. I still took pride in doing a good job -- but it also meant that climbing to the upper ranks of my field wasn't top of mind. People have different priorities. I'm not as ambitious as Sheryl Sandberg; that doesn't mean I can't read Lean In without whining about how she's insulting my life choices.
There were 2 female attorneys in another dept in the past year who asked to go part time. Both told no. One quit, one has been labelled as "not serious or ambitious", and both are held up as proof that all women who get pregnant are an automatic flight risk. I love my company, but it is old school. And the women who work there change it very slowly and methodically. Luckily I've been there long enough that I get a pass on this one, but I shouldn't have said it. Posting here was actually kind of a confession for me.
And I don't mean to start a mommy war. Every family is different, and there are as many variables to making the decision to stay home as there are families. The gutsiest, most ambitious broad I know is a SAHM. She will return to work when and if it's right for her family. Giving up her career to care for her child was incredibly brave.
Meh, OP didn't in any way insult SAHMs or part-time workers. She just said that's not what she wants. That is fine. The comments the men in her office made were extremely inappropriate and it still baffles me that women can be treated this way in the workplace.
Imagine if I mentioned a male coworker's health issue and asked if he was coming back to work. I would be screwed. Mentioning pregnancy in such a way in the same thing, in my opinion.
I I am a lawyer who works full time post bab0y. That being said, I would probably have found your comment a little annoying. I'm also an older mom (36) so perhaps I have a slightly different perspective due to my years on.
To me, the greater issue in our field of work is the complete and utter disregard for work/life balance and flexibility. I don't know what your hours are like, but mine are rough.