Side-eye Saturday.

CowgirlK39 · November 2013

I know we have UO Thursday, and FFFC, but I felt like waking this place up with side-eye Saturday. So what/who have you given the side eye to lately?

I try to not judge people based on their financial decisions. I know everyone is different. But when I hear someone crying poverty about the essentials of life, yet I witness them spend money on truly unnecessary things, I give the side-eye. My SIL gets WIC benefits, and is complaining that she and her DH cannot afford the initial fees and rent that come with a two bedroom apt, which they need now that they have a baby. Yet today she said she spent $60 at a PartyLite party, and then bought more things from a Thirty One party today. If you are constantly playing the poor-me card, you shouldn't be buying expensive, useless stuff.

capinjen152 · November 2013

I side eye my BIL who spends 90% of his time at IL's house where his mother does his laundry, cooks his meals, etc. I also side eye MIL on this because she is an enabler. ILs also pay part of his rent so he can have a 2 bedroom apartment so his daughter can stay with his for visitation. But then they ask to borrow money from us. Hell no I don't need to help you enable your 35 year old son. /rant.

monkeybutt61612 · November 2013

I majorly side eye my fil and step-mil who started the process to foster a 12 year old girl, even having her stay with them 5x a week, only to back out because they weren't prepared to deal with a 12 year old girl. I judge them so hard for this.

jamjoyful · November 2013

I side eye my coworker who is constantly asking for advice on what to do about the guy who rejected her. Should she give him another chance? Should she text him? Should she call him? Should she go see him?

No. He already told you that you are nothing more than a friend with benefits. Where's your self worth woman?!?!?!!

Mysterious_wife · November 2013

I side-eye the bounce place Allie went to tonight. She got a pretty gross scrape on her hand. They didn't have bandages to cover it.

easilyunamused · November 2013

I'm side eyeing a friend who should be at my place right now for dinner, but just texted me saying she was just getting into the shower. She lives about 45mins away from me.

Time Managment is your friend people. I'm on my 2nd glass of wine.

Ducktale · November 2013

I side eyed my sister who guilted my parents into paying her plane ticket home for Christmas. She can't afford it because she doesn't work and is a stay at home wife with no kids. I'm not judging the fact that she doesn't work if she can afford it, but wtf, having my parents pay for your ticket home? Grow up.

easilyunamused · November 2013

Ducktale said:
I side eyed my sister who guilted my parents into paying her plane ticket home for Christmas. She can't afford it because she doesn't work and is a stay at home wife with no kids. I'm not judging the fact that she doesn't work if she can afford it, but wtf, having my parents pay for your ticket home? Grow up.

I must be confused. Who pays for her lifestyle of she's a SAHW? Shouldn't her husband pay for her ticket back? Isn't that part of the package?

Youaremylolipop · November 2013

fredalina said:

I side eye the woman who stood under my 4.5 year old climbing up playground equipment today. My 4.5 year old who is practically as strong and agile as a monkey. My 4.5 year old that she has never seen before. The one I was actively watching about 8 feet away (it's not like I was sitting 20 yards away and texting, although I easily COULD because my 4.5 year old is trustworthy on playground equipment). She just walked up behind/under her and held her hands up as though to catch her if she fell. I side eye the shit out of her.

This would REALLY upset me.

lifeonthehill · November 2013

I side eye the woman I work with who has inappropriate conversations about sex and drugs with a 17 year old student on our boarding school campus. Now every time I see this boy I just want to scream and tell the world how rotten he has been and how inappropriate the 40 year old woman has been behaving but since I have one final shift there and nobody trusts me because I am 22 I will just grin and bear through the final eight hours.

Ducktale · November 2013

LuvBird29 said:

I side eyed my sister who guilted my parents into paying her plane ticket home for Christmas. She can't afford it because she doesn't work and is a stay at home wife with no kids. I'm not judging the fact that she doesn't work if she can afford it, but wtf, having my parents pay for your ticket home? Grow up.
I must be confused. Who pays for her lifestyle of she's a SAHW? Shouldn't her husband pay for her ticket back? Isn't that part of the package?

You'd think. He works and brings in their only income. He's not the problem though. It's not that he's unwilling to pay, he just can't afford it. Which to me either says don't fly home or my sister gets a job to pay for what they can't afford. Though I guess that's far too reasonable.

Mysterious_wife · November 2013

I'm side eying the stupid idiot on FB, who faked a pg for one of those stupid games. If you like her photo she sends you the instructions in a PM.

CowgirlK39 · November 2013

I have to add another. Last nite, BILs gf, who is 18, confided in me that she contracted chlamydia from him. She has been made very aware that he cheats on her but she is young and dumb and stays with him. I side-eye both of them now: BIL for cheating, and then not understanding how/why he has it (his gf told me he doesn't even know what to do, like get treated), and both for not using condoms. DH and I talked about it and he is thinking about having a talk with his brother but isn't sure how.

bugandbibs · November 2013

I'm side eyeing all the people wearing jeans at the memorial I went to this weekend. Especially those who I know wear suits and dress clothes to work.

yellowrose314 · November 2013

I side-eye my BIL who constantly complains about being broke and getting their utilities and services cut off, but spends more than half his monthly salary buying weed. Not to mention the fact that he's had 4 jobs in the last year, all of which he quit because he didn't like the job, the hours or something else innocuous. Not to mention that right now he's decided he's going to work up north, and is super agro about having to quit smoking weed for the next 3 months so he can pass a drug test.

SmileyJay · November 2013

I am side eyeing the same thing as OP. It gets even worse around Christmas.

It seems that practically everyone we know including family can not set aside a dime each month. They have brand new cars, expensive cable package, highest speed internet, new toys like playstation 4 or Iphone 5s... but zero savings or security. Then when Christmas comes around we get hit up to buy expensive presents for their kids because we do not struggle (or have expensive things) and do not have children. I get so angry!!! We have put in a $30 cap and just always answer with "well, we already got them something".

Newsflash - your kid will survive if they do not get every thing they ever wanted for Christmas. They may even be a better person for it. It is not my responsibility to buy gifts for them that you can't afford just because you think we can.

Also - I hate the holidays because everyone and their brother asks when I'm going to get knocked up. I am trying to come up with a really great response to this for this year. Also trying to make sure I am in good shape and have fitted clothes so no one asks if I'm pregnant. It's never happened before but I am always sure not to wear loose fitted clothes. Sad, I know.

Sorry for the rant.

AlanaB2010 · November 2013

My ILs also are terrible with money in a super frustrating way. I think horrible horrible things like "how about you spend less money buying us 'gifts' you saw at garage sales that seemed 'perfect' for us (!!) and put that in your savings, because someday when you have to go into a home, we'll need those savings to pay for the 1-800-GOT-JUNK truck to come".

Oh dear. I've probably just ensured my seat in hell is reserved. I feel like only a cruel person would react that way, but at a certain point I've become less than gentle and patient. (Also, this topic is fun and should be continued. Anyone for 'throwing shade Tuesday'?)

CowgirlK39 · November 2013

AlanaB2010 said:

My ILs also are terrible with money in a super frustrating way. I think horrible horrible things like "how about you spend less money buying us 'gifts' you saw at garage sales that seemed 'perfect' for us (!!) and put that in your savings, because someday when you have to go into a home, we'll need those savings to pay for the 1-800-GOT-JUNK truck to come".

Oh dear. I've probably just ensured my seat in hell is reserved. I feel like only a cruel person would react that way, but at a certain point I've become less than gentle and patient. (Also, this topic is fun and should be continued. Anyone for 'throwing shade Tuesday'?)

Oh my goodness this is the exact description of my ILs! Holy crap. We got so much junk from garage sales as weddings gifts/decor. SIL doesn't have a pot to piss in (thus my OP) so mil bombarded her with baby clothes from garage sales, many ugly or stained. Part of me thinks that maybe instead of buying garbage she could help her daughter with some of the initial cost of a bigger apartment.....yet again, there's that problem again.

yellowrose314 · November 2013

TheCraftyKoala said:

I am side eyeing the same thing as OP. It gets even worse around Christmas.

It seems that practically everyone we know including family can not set aside a dime each month. They have brand new cars, expensive cable package, highest speed internet, new toys like playstation 4 or Iphone 5s... but zero savings or security. Then when Christmas comes around we get hit up to buy expensive presents for their kids because we do not struggle (or have expensive things) and do not have children. I get so angry!!! We have put in a $30 cap and just always answer with "well, we already got them something".

Newsflash - your kid will survive if they do not get every thing they ever wanted for Christmas. They may even be a better person for it. It is not my responsibility to buy gifts for them that you can't afford just because you think we can.

Also - I hate the holidays because everyone and their brother asks when I'm going to get knocked up. I am trying to come up with a really great response to this for this year. Also trying to make sure I am in good shape and have fitted clothes so no one asks if I'm pregnant. It's never happened before but I am always sure not to wear loose fitted clothes. Sad, I know.

Sorry for the rant.

AHHH my IL's do the same thing... they spend hundred's on designer clothes for DDIL, who grows out of them in a month or less, clothes for themselves, but constantly complain that they have no money and are months behind on their utilities. And every Christmas when DDIL opens her presents from us, THEY sideye US for not getting something "nicer". Yes I bought your kid books (she loves to read) instead of the child digital camera that you mentioned "would be an excellent gift" but you can't afford to get her... eff you.

And then they call us to borrow money. Um no sorry. We refuse to lend them money, especially after the fiasco with a rental car that they need to rent under DH's and other BIL's credit cards to get to SIL's wedding last summer. They got a speeding ticket which got charged to the credit cards and still haven't payed up the $270 fine.

SmileyJay · November 2013

@yellowrose314 - Are we in the same family??

I think my major objection is that Christmas is not about the gifts. Kids don't need $1000 in gifts and I really believe they would prefer family time and not to have stressed out parents for the next 3 months while they are struggling to make ends meet. I just don't get it! I grew up without a whole lot of stuff - on Christmas I was elated to get some used clothes and some simple toys that I would play with for hours. Paddle ball? Awesome! Yo-yo? Incredible. Jump rope? Yes, please! If I got something big like a bicycle, that was ALL of my gift and I was felt so spoiled lol. DH's family is the opposite but he believes like I do. We both get ill this time of year when it is all about the getting and not about giving.

SmileyJay · November 2013

Disclaimer before someone jumps on me - if you can afford to shower your kid with gifts and still make all your bills and have a bit tucked away, I am happy for you and your family! I am just talking about parents who can not and feel they must keep up with the Joneses. Maybe out of guilt, I don't know.

I would lose it if someone came up behind my kid and starting bracing for their fall. You know your kid better than some stranger and you will be the one to scoop them up if they happen to fall. I can't imagine doing this for a stranger's kid.

DoubleUp8 · November 2013

I am side-eyed the friend of H's that always comes over to watch football and only bring enough beer for himself then eats all of the food we make and drinks our beer when he finishes his own. We love hosting these gatherings, but other guests bring a 12 pack or a dish to pass.

He never brings anything because he says money is very tight, which I would be OK with if he actually ever told us "thank you" for the food. Or he actually liked to watch football and didn't just come for the free food. Or didn't spend his money on road trips to minor league baseball stadiums across the country, or season tickets to a local minor league baseball game or the most expensive cable package available rather than paying his bills! And he always asks people to find out if we are hosting so he can fish an invite out of us. Argh!

Just because my husband and I work hard and are careful with our money, we are not a a free meal ticket!

CowgirlK39 · November 2013

Nicb13 said:

DoubleUp8 said:

I am side-eyed the friend of H's that always comes over to watch football and only bring enough beer for himself then eats all of the food we make and drinks our beer when he finishes his own. We love hosting these gatherings, but other guests bring a 12 pack or a dish to pass.

He never brings anything because he says money is very tight, which I would be OK with if he actually ever told us "thank you" for the food. Or he actually liked to watch football and didn't just come for the free food. Or didn't spend his money on road trips to minor league baseball stadiums across the country, or season tickets to a local minor league baseball game or the most expensive cable package available rather than paying his bills! And he always asks people to find out if we are hosting so he can fish an invite out of us. Argh!

Just because my husband and I work hard and are careful with our money, we are not a a free meal ticket!

I have a friend who brings a huge case of beer and takes home whatever is leftover! That's always been odd to me. I figure, if I bring beer, liquor, whatever to a gathering then either it gets finished, or I leave it there.

I have never understood this. If you bring something, you do not take it back with you unless the host insists. I feel like that's just polite.

easilyunamused · November 2013

CowgirlK39 said:

Nicb13 said:

DoubleUp8 said:

I am side-eyed the friend of H's that always comes over to watch football and only bring enough beer for himself then eats all of the food we make and drinks our beer when he finishes his own. We love hosting these gatherings, but other guests bring a 12 pack or a dish to pass.

He never brings anything because he says money is very tight, which I would be OK with if he actually ever told us "thank you" for the food. Or he actually liked to watch football and didn't just come for the free food. Or didn't spend his money on road trips to minor league baseball stadiums across the country, or season tickets to a local minor league baseball game or the most expensive cable package available rather than paying his bills! And he always asks people to find out if we are hosting so he can fish an invite out of us. Argh!

Just because my husband and I work hard and are careful with our money, we are not a a free meal ticket!

I have a friend who brings a huge case of beer and takes home whatever is leftover! That's always been odd to me. I figure, if I bring beer, liquor, whatever to a gathering then either it gets finished, or I leave it there.

I have never understood this. If you bring something, you do not take it back with you unless the host insists. I feel like that's just polite.

I agree. Leave it with the hosts. On another note, I feel it's so strange when guests don't clean up after themselves. I am ok cleaning my house after, but at least pick up your plates/beer bottles/glasses and put them in the kitchen.

AlanaB2010 · November 2013

Nicb13 said:

Ditto. Same goes for a workplace kitchen. I would never just leave my dishes in the sink, assuming someone else will clean up after me. It's just rude.

OMG thank you. I work in a very nice office with some other nice, clean people, and apparently some baboons. Dishes in the sink. Cups in sink. Spills on counter. Don't even get me started on trying to find a clean toilet stall at 530 in the evening. The more I'm alive the more I think there are 2 kinds of people in the world, those who are 'plugged in' to those around and to how they are being perceived by those around, and those who simply aren't. (Baboons.)

FemShep · November 2013

Nicb13 said:

LuvBird29 said:

CowgirlK39 said:

Nicb13 said:

DoubleUp8 said:

I am side-eyed the friend of H's that always comes over to watch football and only bring enough beer for himself then eats all of the food we make and drinks our beer when he finishes his own. We love hosting these gatherings, but other guests bring a 12 pack or a dish to pass.

He never brings anything because he says money is very tight, which I would be OK with if he actually ever told us "thank you" for the food. Or he actually liked to watch football and didn't just come for the free food. Or didn't spend his money on road trips to minor league baseball stadiums across the country, or season tickets to a local minor league baseball game or the most expensive cable package available rather than paying his bills! And he always asks people to find out if we are hosting so he can fish an invite out of us. Argh!

Just because my husband and I work hard and are careful with our money, we are not a a free meal ticket!

I have a friend who brings a huge case of beer and takes home whatever is leftover! That's always been odd to me. I figure, if I bring beer, liquor, whatever to a gathering then either it gets finished, or I leave it there.

I have never understood this. If you bring something, you do not take it back with you unless the host insists. I feel like that's just polite.

I agree. Leave it with the hosts. On another note, I feel it's so strange when guests don't clean up after themselves. I am ok cleaning my house after, but at least pick up your plates/beer bottles/glasses and put them in the kitchen.

Ditto. Same goes for a workplace kitchen. I would never just leave my dishes in the sink, assuming someone else will clean up after me. It's just rude.

Even worse: people who take other people's food from a work refrigerator. WTF! Stealing is bad, but stealing someone else's food is the lowest of low.

easilyunamused · November 2013

Nicb13 said:

FemShep said:

Even worse: people who take other people's food from a work refrigerator. WTF! Stealing is bad, but stealing someone else's food is the lowest of low.

Ok, yep, that's worse. Dude, if you didn't bring it then it's not yours. Easy as that. I shouldn't have to put my name on my own shit because if I look in the fridge, I know what is mine and what is not. If I'm unsure....then I don't take it.

Or when they NEVER clean their stuff out of the fridge. I had a co-worker who would constantly leave their left-overs in tupperware and never eat it. Once a month the cleaners would just throw everything away. That's a lot of wasted $$ on tupperware.

Ducktale · November 2013

fredalina said:

On the subject of taking the beer: if you take a dish to a dinner, do you take it and the leftovers home? I thought so (I mean, it's in a dish), but now this post has me wondering.

I was thinking the same thing! I mean, if it's a bag of chips or a disposable container, I guess I leave it, but I definitely take my food home with me if it's in a dish. I assume that's normal, but agree that this post got me wondering maybe I'm super rude or something.

capinjen152 · November 2013

I take my stuff when I leave if it's in a dish. If someone brings to my house I do not want all their dishes to clean up and return no matter how tasty the contents were!

Ducktale · November 2013

I have an aunt who used to bring tupperware containers to events and take home leftovers. She did bring a dish to pass so she wasn't a total mooch, but still. She's an odd duck anyway.

CowgirlK39 · November 2013

fredalina said:

On the subject of taking the beer: if you take a dish to a dinner, do you take it and the leftovers home? I thought so (I mean, it's in a dish), but now this post has me wondering.

For us it depends who the host is. Close friends and family are people we will surely see again so we will get the dish back. So we leave it. But if it's an acquaintance or something else we bring it home.

DoubleUp8 · November 2013

People do that in our workplace kitchen, and it is the worst! If you want to let your dishes "soak" at home that fine, but you share the space at work! People should be more considerate!

SmileyJay · November 2013

If we bring a bag of chips or something in a container (not Tupperware) or alcohol, I just leave it.

I am a total nerd for food presentation though so most of the time I bring food in nice dishes that I would never leave behind. This weekend I am bringing three dishes to a thanksgiving thing with probably 30+ people...in that situation I bring what's left home with me after others have grabbed plates of leftovers or whatever. I will probably add in some leftover turkey to bring home with us. If we went to someone's home, I usually bring a small plastic container or ask for a paper plate and plastic wrap to leave any extras behind for the hosts.

Ditto if we traveled a distance to go somewhere - I don't want the food to sit in the car all the way home if I can help it. But I would also never leave my dishes for someone else to take care of. I hate washing dishes so much, I wouldn't do that unless they said to and it wasn't one of my prized dishes lol

yellowrose314 · November 2013

TheCraftyKoala said:

@yellowrose314 - Are we in the same family??

I think my major objection is that Christmas is not about the gifts. Kids don't need $1000 in gifts and I really believe they would prefer family time and not to have stressed out parents for the next 3 months while they are struggling to make ends meet. I just don't get it! I grew up without a whole lot of stuff - on Christmas I was elated to get some used clothes and some simple toys that I would play with for hours. Paddle ball? Awesome! Yo-yo? Incredible. Jump rope? Yes, please! If I got something big like a bicycle, that was ALL of my gift and I was felt so spoiled lol. DH's family is the opposite but he believes like I do. We both get ill this time of year when it is all about the getting and not about giving.

@TheCraftyKoala

You'd think so wouldn't you? Apparently there are just that many self-absorbed people in the world!

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