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What If I Don't Know ...

MessyMommyMessyMommy member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I never considered having just ONE child, after all I am the youngest of 7 and my husband somewhere in the middle of 7 ... when our daughter was born my husband used to joke that we were done but there was a little honesty to his joking - he fell so in love with our daughter that the thought of him having to share his love for her with another child really scared him ...I cant imagine her not having someone - a sister at least ... 

When we got pregnant this time it was a big surprise - it just popped up - and we were ready to roll with it ... now that I've miscarried I am not sure what will happen next ... will we try .... wont we ... 
I dont even know what I want to do ...

has anyone felt this way?
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Re: What If I Don't Know ...

  • co baby1co baby1 member
    DH and I had always talked about two but after our daughter we were so happy and head over heels that for a while we thought about one and done too. After some time and long talks we really felt like we weren't done and we wanted another baby and to give our daughter a sibling. I am not sure what changed or clicked but when we decided to start trying we were both so excited. After our loss DH was ready to try again right away, he was crushed when we lost the baby (as was I). Those feelings gave us a for sure sign that we are not done, we absolutely want another baby.

    Give yourself and your husband time to heal physically and emotionally and then have a long talk about your future and what you see for yourselves and your daughter! ((Hugs))
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  • msteacher83msteacher83 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. We never got the option of just one :) but I would say that it is really important to work through all your feelings. I am trying to slowly process everything still even though we are already TTC. Communication is super important right now!
    BFP #1 12.9.11 - welcomed G & S 7.20.12
    BFP #2 9.20.13 - m/c 10.21.13
    BFP #3 12.15.13  due 8.29.14

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    Interested in a FB group? PM me :) 

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  • Glow360Glow360 member
    I am sorry for your loss! I think what you are feeling is very normal! I also can relate to your husband. I have a son and the thought of having another child scared me for a long time because I love my son so much and I felt like I couldn't share that love with another child and when I became pregnant I knew immediately that I had enough love and I was just being silly....sadly it ended in a MS and I am now wondering if I even want to do this over or not. I think time will provide enough healing and decisions can be made when your heart is not so hurt over the loss. I hope you keep us posted on how you are doing and things get easier for your family!
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