Shit DH says...

BSnipes35 · November 2013

Haven't seen one of these in a while, but I had to share:

I have a biter, and he had torn up my right nipple. Luckily, it has healed and we are doing better. Still painful when he clamps down, but I digress. The LCs gave me some magic nipple cream that was $67. Insurance wouldn't cover it, because it was a compound. Whatever.

So, as we discussed the cost of said cream, DH says "you can use that utter cream, too. You know, they use it on cow utters." Me: "seriously?! I'm not a cow!"

Dreamingmommy4 · November 2013

Lol. Gotta love some of the things they say.

my DH, gave me the best look last night (I wish I had a picture), we were in bed and I all of a sudden felt LO stick her foot out of the side of my belly pretty far, there was no mistaking it was a foot. DH reached over to feel it and looked at me and said "oh my gosh! I think I felt her toes!" It was really cute how excited he got. Sorry that was more of an AW than a stupid DH moment, but that's all I've got right now.

jocie2581 · November 2013

On our first trip to the pediatrician I told DH we needed to leave in ten minutes. He said "I can be ready in five." Ummm, great. But we also need to get our twin boys in the double stoller and get the diaper bag together. It's not just you that you need to worry about anymore.

meabtahi · November 2013

The other night I was reading out loud my pregnancy systems from 'what to expect' for the upcoming week. There were two right next to each other, the first of which said to expect an increase in vaginal discharge and the second something about leaky breasts. Somehow, my DH coupled the 2 together in his mind and looked at me with this horrified expression and says, "Your boobs are going to leak vaginal fluid!?" I just stare at him in disbelief - and to top it all off he is a physician and knows that is physically not possible!

firefliesandfjords · November 2013

My husband makes mooing sounds when I pump. Ugh.

AngeliaG8 · November 2013

Lots if TMI warning!

My DH acts like anything that comes out of my boobs is going to burn his skin off. I was sitting in bed topless and one if my boobs decided to leak and a swear he almost gaged. But when I informed him that I was losing my MP he not only asked to see but then said "that's awesome". What?! No it's disgusting. And it wasn't like that's awesome because she'll be here soon type thing it was like when my mom sees blood. "Oh cool!" Type thing. I'm still kind of confused about the conversation.

MrsApplelovesMrApple · November 2013

Had my 6 week check up yesterday and the doctor said I'm off all restrictions. My husband says "Great! You can start working out again!" I gave him a look and he faltered to "WE...WE can start working out!" Look continued and he changed it to "I mean... I can start working out again...because I'm fat!"

I wasn't really mad at him though. I've been talking about how I can't wait to start running again. It's the insinuating that I NEED to work out that that he needed to fix ASAP.

whatididntkno · November 2013

DH was looking at my chart today and said "How's your weight? Ooh, up a couple of pounds." with a disappointed look. SERIOUSLY??

Kfran84 · November 2013

wedding06 said:

DH has been walking on eggshells because of my raging hormones since having LO. But when I was in labor at the hospital he had the audacity to complain about how uncomfortable he was sitting in the chair next to my bed. If I wasn't hooked up to monitors I would have punched him in the nuts.

Ha! DH complained about how sore his lower back was from walking around the hospital with me and supporting me during my contractions during my med-free delivery.

Um, you poor thing, with your sore back... Would you care to trade?

bglovesbabyk · November 2013

My DH hasn't given me much to complain about but for the last two weeks, every morning, I mean EVERY morning, he asks me, "Are you going to have the baby today?". Uhhhhhh. I DON'T KNOW!!! Then he sends me texts all day long, "any baby yet?" I feel like filing a harassment complaint, but then I think how I would feel if he acted uninterested, and I guess this is less annoying.

Sheazier · November 2013

With my DS, I labored for 26 hours and then had a C-section and had to wait to pass gas before I could eat. It was a good 32 hours of combined labor/C-section recovery before I could eat again. When I got the OK, DH and I ordered food and when it arrived, I was in the bathroom. DH took the entire tray and put it on his lap and kept saying "Wow, this is so good, must be because I'm STARVING!" and just kept eating like an animal that hadn't seen food in days. I got back into the bed and just stared at him, waiting for him to hand me the tray with my food. He then said, "God, I'm so hungry, can I have half of your sandwich and maybe some of your fries?" I had to remind him that I, too, was starving, especially as I watched him eat several meals while I was in labor.

gwenneh · November 2013

Yesterday, as I was leaving to go grocery shopping (by MYSELF! It was like a freaking VACATION!) DH gave me a kiss and said, "That's a very 'your mom' kind of outfit."

I responded with, "That's a very 'I never want to get laid again.' kind of comment." Seriously -- I gave birth two weeks ago, I am wearing the freaking yoga pants!

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