MIL rants

Nukke · November 2013

Common ladies, I live for these! I haven't read a good MIL or IL issue post in a good 24 hours. I need some stories for my 5am breastfeed!

Nukke · November 2013

I guess I'll start the ball rolling. Unfortunately my MIL is pretty awesome, although she's very opinionated and hard headed (like me!) We don't often butt heads though,because I keep my opinions to myself. But she often rips on Canada and tries to convince DH and I to move to the states. Makes me want to stone her with timbits.

HBirdie · November 2013

Nukke said:

I guess I'll start the ball rolling. Unfortunately my MIL is pretty awesome, although she's very opinionated and hard headed (like me!) We don't often butt heads though,because I keep my opinions to myself. But she often rips on Canada and tries to convince DH and I to move to the states. Makes me want to stone her with timbits.

I get what you're saying in this context, but this still made me laugh!

eyris · November 2013

Lol... Death by Timbits, I like it.

My MIL is pretty awesome too, but she does get under my skin sometimes.

Just for your entertainment, I'll give you this one: our first day home from the hospital, when I was struggling to breastfeed, MIL stood right over me while I attempted to get Everett to latch. When I asked for some privacy and nicely explained that the extra audience was making me nervous, she started crying. She cries at everything, but that takes the cake.

Nukke · November 2013

@eyris that kinda made me feel bad for your MIL. I can see me doing this one day to my daughter or daughter in law. Its like she was embarrassed and was so caught up in the emotions of the whole situation she forgot her place. Tell me she's a crazy drama queen who cries at everything for attention!

HBirdie · November 2013

I can't believe I don't have one... I always have one!

gah... let's see.

Oh! Okay. This isn't THAT bad, but still.

My MIL has quite possibly the most annoying baby talk voice that she uses with Caleb. She says "Oh my goodness" over and over and over and everything she says has a lisp and honestly it makes my skin crawl. I have to actively focus on something else when she's talking to my baby. Also, she kisses his head a lot, which is MY thing.

My stepMIL has taken to calling Caleb her "little miracle baby." I don't even know. This one drives me bonkers because 1)he isn't her baby and 2)sure, I suppose he's a "miracle" in that he's a baby and on some level all babies are miracles? But DH and I are both very healthy and I had an extremely normal, healthy pregnancy. We got pregnant without trying, and overall there's really nothing out of the ordinary or miraculous about it. She's kind of just projecting her own stuff onto him, I think. It weird me out a little. Also, she speaks in a really reverent voice whenever she holds him and I can't even begin to count the number of times she has said, "Holding a baby, there's just nothing like it." or "That baby smell... there's just nothing like it." I mean, it sounds sweet, and maybe it was, the first few times. But it's like she's a broken record and she just keeps saying it over and over.

See? I've always got SOMETHING.

emmarios · November 2013

My MIL is great but she's kind of a liar. Lol...Last week, my LO had two tiny little hair frizz balls on the back of his head. They were annoying the heck out of me so I got out a little comb and was going to gently brush them out. I was running late for class and I asked her if she could help me with that since she was going to watch the baby. She said yes. No big deal. I came home from school and she told me she got the little frizz balls out with olive oil. Great! So later that night I realize the baby was missing a little patch of hair on the back of his head. Olive oil my ass! She took out the scissors! Grrrr!!

Bamgal25 · November 2013

Oh I've always got a MIL story too! I am still floored about the convo my husband had with his mom a couple of weeks ago. Apparently he left out a part when relaying convo to me. MIL claimed she's been wearing a "mask" for the past year but now she's taking it off and will be herself around us. I don't know why she felt the need to wear this mask or what made her decide to "take it off", but whatever MIL. Glad you got that off your chest!
So my H and I both recently pointed out to her that she invites herself over too much etc and asked her to chill with that. Well we had them over last saturday and wouldn't you know that MIL invited us to three different things while she was here! I guess she thinks if she's inviting US to do things then its not as grievous as inviting herself over to our house. Wrong! The worst was when she stated that she was sure my parents enjoyed showing DD off at church (we visited my parents in my hometown two weekends ago; in laws live close to us) and that she hoped we would join them at their church soon so she could show off DD to her friends. I think she's keeping score of which grandparents get to see DD more often and its really getting annoying!

SarahE22nd · November 2013

eyris said:
Lol... Death by Timbits, I like it.

My MIL is pretty awesome too, but she does get under my skin sometimes.

Just for your entertainment, I'll give you this one: our first day home from the hospital, when I was struggling to breastfeed, MIL stood right over me while I attempted to get Everett to latch. When I asked for some privacy and nicely explained that the extra audience was making me nervous, she started crying. She cries at everything, but that takes the cake.

Lol mine stood by my head in the hospital and gave DS a kiss while he was latched on. In a way, I guess I'm glad she's more comfortable with it this time than she was with my daughter.

mrsmoxie · November 2013

Mine likes to send me coupons for formula even though she knows I'm EBF. she wants me to breastfeed and use formula too. I'm not sure why.

Thankfully we live 5 hours away. But she keeps looking for a job for DH near her town. No idea why, either. He has a great job right now that he likes.

And mind also does the baby talk. But it's so bad. Example, "Hims wuvs Hims bwanket." Next time she does it, I'm going to tell her that that talk is bad for a baby's language development. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

Kristonita12 · November 2013

OH I love MIL posts! We visited my in laws last weekend and my MIL immediately yanked the baby out of my arms. I said "oh, can I actually snuggle her for a second? she just woke up and is kind of fussy.." and my MIL replied "NO!" and stormed off giggling. Are you effing kidding me? So being a total wimp, I let that happen, until baby started crying and I finally was like "you know what? I work all week and don't get to see this baby much except on the weekend, either, so I need you to hand her back." She got the point.

Then later that night, I was letting her spend some time with the baby before we left for our date night (during which my in laws were watching LO) and whenever she would cry, my MIL would say "Oh you just need your grandma!" or "You need your daddy!" Of course, none of that worked because she needed her MOMMY (maybe I'm biased, but I don't think so) and I swear to God MIL said "daddy's girl!" like 500 times. It made me want to punch someone. She kept saying "just wait until we have you here alone!" referring to when we were going on our date.. she would say that because I wasn't handing the baby over when she was crying. For fuck's sake. Then when I got back and asked how she was, MIL said "oh she just loves watching TV!"

seriously. WTAF.

finally, this one is about my own mom, but my mom is also the broken record type regarding baby.. "there's nothing sweeter! she's my everything! i love my baby!" (don't even get me started with the my baby shite.). Also constantly with the baby talk "Aw, her so sleepy." "How's my wittle peanut?" "Heh-whoa baby"

Ew.

K I think I'm done.

kimberlymacrae · November 2013

I am with the PPs, typically my MIL is amaze-balls. But this last time around, I am not sure if she is just feeling more comfortable or what but she did some crazy things…
1. She was poking my husband’s buttons non-stop. He is a quirky guy to begin with (and so are they) and sometimes he has these things he likes done… in a certain way… and we just deal with it because it is honestly no harm. For example when LO is being bottle fed “we” don’t like him passed around. He believes that for one reason or another it messes with his ability to get full and fall asleep… which is true. Who can fall asleep when you’re being switched from one lap to another? Well my MIL would straight up say things like “… it isn’t going to kill him”. We know this, however it is our preference… And she would ask to hold/feed him when she knew good and well she would have to get up multiple times (i.e. she was cooking a large meal and would sit down for 10 min.s and say “oh well I will take him…”, no… you’re going to get up in a bit). Just ridiculous things but it’s like come on…

2. When LO would spit up, just barely, or have a dirty diaper she insisted on taking him to change him. I was thinking “oh sweet, that’s a ton of help”. Nope… LO would come out in a full new outfit each time. Sweater, pants, shoes, hat, the whole getup. I am talking 6 times a day… We average two outfits a day. So now I have about 100 loads of laundry to do to catch up. Thanks?
3. She kept saying “Oh no, Ky is all mommy” when we would talk about who he would look like. But she said it almost in a disappointed fashion. Am I supposed to apologize? Do you know their facial features change all the time? I am lost…

Okay that is all for now.

kimberlymacrae · November 2013

FutureMrs07282012 said:

Mine likes to send me coupons for formula even though she knows I'm EBF. she wants me to breastfeed and use formula too. I'm not sure why. Thankfully we live 5 hours away. But she keeps looking for a job for DH near her town. No idea why, either. He has a great job right now that he likes. And mind also does the baby talk. But it's so bad. Example, "Hims wuvs Hims bwanket." Next time she does it, I'm going to tell her that that talk is bad for a baby's language development. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

This wasn't flamed?

We've all lost our spark.

coraggiosa · November 2013

kimberlymacrae said:

FutureMrs07282012 said:

Mine likes to send me coupons for formula even though she knows I'm EBF. she wants me to breastfeed and use formula too. I'm not sure why. Thankfully we live 5 hours away. But she keeps looking for a job for DH near her town. No idea why, either. He has a great job right now that he likes. And mind also does the baby talk. But it's so bad. Example, "Hims wuvs Hims bwanket." Next time she does it, I'm going to tell her that that talk is bad for a baby's language development. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

This wasn't flamed?

We've all lost our spark.

Baby talk isn't bad for language development (and is incredibly important), but I told my mom to stop using improper grammar with DD. I have no problems with the high pitched voices or even made up words, but I put the stop at incorrect grammar, such as "Her is tired" or whatever the hell it was my mom was saying. I know DD is little, but I don't want that crap to become a habit and something that DD will learn in the future. Talking with bad grammar does absolutely nothing for a baby's development.

mrsmoxie · November 2013

kimberlymacrae said:

FutureMrs07282012 said:

Mine likes to send me coupons for formula even though she knows I'm EBF. she wants me to breastfeed and use formula too. I'm not sure why. Thankfully we live 5 hours away. But she keeps looking for a job for DH near her town. No idea why, either. He has a great job right now that he likes. And mind also does the baby talk. But it's so bad. Example, "Hims wuvs Hims bwanket." Next time she does it, I'm going to tell her that that talk is bad for a baby's language development. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

This wasn't flamed?

We've all lost our spark.

I meant baby talk as in using horrible grammar with the baby, notice the example I gave. I'm not talking about just talking in a high pitch voice, which I do with my baby. Talking with horrible grammar, like my example, is bad for their development. My pediatrician told me. And even if it wasn't, it hurts my ears and I can't stand it.

GermanShredders · November 2013

My MIL wants LO to scream before she admits he is hungry. Yep, cold day in hell before she watches him.

kimberlymacrae · November 2013

coraggiosa said:

kimberlymacrae said:

FutureMrs07282012 said:

Mine likes to send me coupons for formula even though she knows I'm EBF. she wants me to breastfeed and use formula too. I'm not sure why. Thankfully we live 5 hours away. But she keeps looking for a job for DH near her town. No idea why, either. He has a great job right now that he likes. And mind also does the baby talk. But it's so bad. Example, "Hims wuvs Hims bwanket." Next time she does it, I'm going to tell her that that talk is bad for a baby's language development. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

This wasn't flamed?

We've all lost our spark.

Baby talk isn't bad for language development (and is incredibly important), but I told my mom to stop using improper grammar with DD. I have no problems with the high pitched voices or even made up words, but I put the stop at incorrect grammar, such as "Her is tired" or whatever the hell it was my mom was saying. I know DD is little, but I don't want that crap to become a habit and something that DD will learn in the future. Talking with bad grammar does absolutely nothing for a baby's development.

Ha. Agree, bad grammar is thr worst. I find myself correcting them in my head... painful.

kimberlymacrae · November 2013

coraggiosa said:

kimberlymacrae said:

FutureMrs07282012 said:

Mine likes to send me coupons for formula even though she knows I'm EBF. she wants me to breastfeed and use formula too. I'm not sure why. Thankfully we live 5 hours away. But she keeps looking for a job for DH near her town. No idea why, either. He has a great job right now that he likes. And mind also does the baby talk. But it's so bad. Example, "Hims wuvs Hims bwanket." Next time she does it, I'm going to tell her that that talk is bad for a baby's language development. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

This wasn't flamed?

We've all lost our spark.

Baby talk isn't bad for language development (and is incredibly important), but I told my mom to stop using improper grammar with DD. I have no problems with the high pitched voices or even made up words, but I put the stop at incorrect grammar, such as "Her is tired" or whatever the hell it was my mom was saying. I know DD is little, but I don't want that crap to become a habit and something that DD will learn in the future. Talking with bad grammar does absolutely nothing for a baby's development.

Ha. Agree, bad grammar is thr worst. I find myself correcting them in my head... painful.

Bamgal25 · November 2013

jennameowion said:
My MIL is great, too, but she keeps suggesting we supplement formula because there's "nothing wrong with it!" I know there isn't, but DD is gaining weight fine and my boobs pump out milk like a fire hose and there's no need for it.

My FIL, however… suggested to DH that we get a cleaning lady when he came to visit DD last week. When we were going through wonder week AND I had shingles and was nearly dying.

Wow your FIL sounds so understanding (rme)!

redfallon · November 2013

I don't usually have one, but I do now. Last week, DD got her shots and I also think she went through a Wonder Week. She was all mama and no one else. She wouldn't stay with DH long enough for me to eat or take a shower. She'd go Dr. Jekyll/Baby Hyde. The in-laws came over this past weekend. I was sick on top of it. I didn't feel that bad Saturday morning, but by the time they got to our house, I was feeling crappy.

Backstory: No one really likes SFIL except for MIL. He's loud, brash, arrogant and a know-it-all. You know the ones who don't know much but think they know everything and he's also very "I'm right/you're wrong."

So we've already mentioned to them how DD was acting with only wanting me. I'm standing there holding her to calm her down after DH had already tried to let MIL hold her (DD went ballistic). SFIL asks if he can hold her. I told him, "She won't even let her daddy hold her right now, so I don't know about that." He says, "Well, she's looking right at me." I say, "That's because you're walking around and talking" thinking to myself, yeah, ok, her looking at you does not mean "Hold me, take me away from my mommy and hold me!"

By Sunday, DD had calmed down enough so that DH could hold her and take care of her and I was even able to get a nap in for a couple hours. SFIL had been away at a shooting match while MIL stayed with us for the day. Before they left to go home, he asked to hold DD again. I said I still wasn't sure how she'd be with that. He tells me that he's really good with baby goats. (They raise goats on their land for the farm exemption). Hmm so being good with baby goats and being good with human babies is the same thing. Sorry I missed the memo on that one!

Anyway, I handed DD over. He starts going into this long-ass story about how he is good with baby goats and how it's basically the same thing as with babies, and (God bless her) DD starts bawling her head off. Hehe. He handed her back very quickly.

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · November 2013

Mine tried to tell me how to hold my baby yesterday after she ate.... Cuz I never feed her apparently.

Nukke · November 2013

I thought of another one. MIL fought me tooth and nail about the "no winter coats in the car seat" thing. WTF was she hoping to gain from winning that argument, is beyond me. She kept telling DH that we were trying to put a "naked baby" in a car seat. She expresses her opinion more than she listens. I fully anticipate showing up at her home in Pennsylvania in ten days, her seeing DD in a fleece coat, and saying, "SEE! I told you so!", completely ignoring the fact that I've always said polar fleece is a safe option.

She literally said once, "We have put so many children in winter coats in car seats, and they were always fine!". Yes, MIL, that's because winter coats don't cause car accidents. 8-|

chois · November 2013

My MIL just texted me saying she bought Christmas PJs for the boys. While this seems like a nice gesture and silly thing to complain about, she knows that we're doing a Christmas Eve present for them that includes PJs. It was not even two weeks ago that I told her this. So now I'm going to feel guilty putting them in our PJs Christmas Eve. I will be putting them in ours though.

She does this kind of thing constantly. I really wouldn't mind that she does, except she never asks first or says what she's doing before she buys it. I got DS1 an "I am 2" shirt to wear on his birthday. When I told her that she says "oh I bought him a Happy Birthday shirt to wear". I guess I was just supposed to read her mind to know that?!

I don't feel like I should have to check with her before buying things like that, but it's silly ending up with two of everything. Very generous, but VERY annoying.

HBirdie · November 2013

chois said:

My MIL just texted me saying she bought Christmas PJs for the boys. While this seems like a nice gesture and silly thing to complain about, she knows that we're doing a Christmas Eve present for them that includes PJs. It was not even two weeks ago that I told her this. So now I'm going to feel guilty putting them in our PJs Christmas Eve. I will be putting them in ours though. She does this kind of thing constantly. I really wouldn't mind that she does, except she never asks first or says what she's doing before she buys it. I got DS1 an "I am 2" shirt to wear on his birthday. When I told her that she says "oh I bought him a Happy Birthday shirt to wear". I guess I was just supposed to read her mind to know that?! I don't feel like I should have to check with her before buying things like that, but it's silly ending up with two of everything. Very generous, but VERY annoying.

@chois: This would drive me crazy because I feel like it's my right as the parent to decide what my kid wears on a special day- Christmas or his birthday being great examples. Those are events with lots of pictures and I love picking out special outfits! I'd be so mad if I felt obligated to use a Happy Birthday shirt that someone else got for him. Ugh. I'm sorry.

Loveniz · November 2013

My in laws are visiting from out of the country for 2 weeks, but it's only been 5 days and I'm already irritated. It's so many small things that irritate me, but they are adding up quickly. She likes to take LO from me and go into the formal living room with him! I don't mind them wanting to hold him, but at least stay in the same room as me. My in laws also love to continue talking and rattling toys in his face even after I told them he's sleepy and needs a nap. My LO went frantic and restless after being overtired, so MIL tells me "I think he's restless cause you gave him his milk too cool."

Also, my in laws are here till my first day back to work and I'm so emotional about going back to work on top of all this.

AppleMuffins · November 2013

Mil told me dd's socks are too tight. They didn't even leave a red mark (which even my sicks do to me). If they aren't tight they come off.

She also told me dd has too much stuff. I bought some wrist rattles yesterday and it coincided with when she got a Christmas present in the mail. All her toys fit in a soft storage cube thing, has the kick and play piano, and a vibrating chair we got for free. Her Xmas gift from us is a bouncer, and that' all we're getting her. How is that too much? Mil is bone one who bought her a useless $500 gift that does nothing but look nice on a shelf. And you should see all the junk mil has of her own in her room.

These are little things but mil lives with us. It's hard to feel like I'm being constantly judged on my parenting in my own home.

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