Gentle Transitions for Returning to Work

Re: Gentle Transitions for Returning to Work

• MommyPhoenix member

  November 2013

  Thanks @ClaryPax Yes, DD's going through Separation Anxiety right now and cries out if I disappear around the corner (she even cries if she hears Grandpa and Grandmas voice before she even sees them when they come over!). I'm worried about how she'll adjust...I know she will eventually but it's hard to imagine all the transitions. We also bedshare and I have to figure out how that will work out for me (getting enough sleep to function at work) and for her (she wakes multiple times during the night to nurse to feed and for comfort). Thanks for the encouragement, I'm hoping the transition won't be too difficult for us.

   

      

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• MommyPhoenix member

  November 2013

  I love your rule - It's how I'm surviving now without much sleep. Thanks for the tips, breakfast distraction is a great one!

   

      

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• eshee8198 member

  November 2013

  I'm not a regular on this board, but I am a working mom, so I'll chime in with my 2c. For me, what's really helped the transition is carving out a little time for just the two of us, me and DD. In my case, DH leaves the house at 6 am, so I make sure I make time to get up early with DD, read some stories, and play a little before I bring her to daycare. I could use that time for both of us to sleep, or to get to work a little earlier, or get everything ready instead of doing it the night before, but I'd rather be a little late and have that time with her. I also get home after DH, and the evenings are a little hectic, so even though I'm spending time with her then as well, I really cherish our quiet little mornings.
  

  
  

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• ncbelle member

  November 2013

  I've just returned to work full time (thankfully with an awesomely flexible schedule).  Granted my kids are older but I will be going back to work when newbie is only 2-3 months old (as I also make far more than DH can at this point).  DH is a SAHD - so similar to your situation.  For me that has made all the difference!  If you know that LO is with loving caregivers, that makes things so much easier!!  I also focus on the positives - what I enjoy about work and the adult interaction that I wouldn't otherwise get.
  

  
  

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• skibunny59 member

  November 2013

  MommyPhoenix said:

  Thanks @ClaryPax Yes, DD's going through Separation Anxiety right now and cries out if I disappear around the corner (she even cries if she hears Grandpa and Grandmas voice before she even sees them when they come over!). I'm worried about how she'll adjust...I know she will eventually but it's hard to imagine all the transitions. We also bedshare and I have to figure out how that will work out for me (getting enough sleep to function at work) and for her (she wakes multiple times during the night to nurse to feed and for comfort). Thanks for the encouragement, I'm hoping the transition won't be too difficult for us.

  Honestly, I think bedsharing is the best thing for working mothers.  I went back to work when DD was 6 months old and we continued to bedshare even after I went back.  (she's 20 months now)  Bedsharing and night nursing really helped keep my supply up and it helped to have that special bonding time at night.  And honestly, I think you would get enough sleep bedsharing than you would if you had to actually get out of bed every time.

  Going back to work is really tough.  I still struggle with it sometimes but I try to look at the positives.  The working moms board is great for support.
  

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• skibunny59 member

  November 2013

  hocus said:

  My children were much younger when I returned to work so I'm not sure my experience is relevant. However I do feel like it is important to value the impact you're having as a breadwinner and mentally frame your work as fundamentally beneficial to your child and your family. There are many ways parents contribute to the success of their children and earning a living is one of the more unsung ones. Many of the books written about parenting gloss over the basic parenting goals of providing shelter, food, and basic necessities of living but these are fundamentally key to children and their sense of well being and trust in society.

  Thank you for posting this.  I've been back at work for awhile now  (went back when DD was 6 months, she is now 20 months) but I still struggle with it sometimes.  I never thought of it like this but you are absolutely right.  I should be proud of the fact that I work and provide for my family.  

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• MommyPhoenix member

  November 2013

  Thanks for all the advice Mamas. I had a heartfelt talk with DH about this yesterday and with all of you sharing your advice I feel a lot better about the situation now. I guess I couldn't picture myself going back to work since I feel that caring for DD full-time IS my job and I also felt like my role as "Mama" would be diluted if I wasn't there for DD during the day (I know it may seem silly to some but it's how I feel). But DH assured me she will adjust and be that much more excited to see me when I get home (hopefully!).
  
  Like @skibunny59 I guess I never perceived my role as the primary breadwinner in the way that @hocus described it. So I am looking at this differently and will take more pride in knowing that I can provide a better life for my family now and into the future...and I'll be putting all your tips to good use! Thanks again!

   

      

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• spainy17 member

  November 2013

  I too am not a common voice on this thread but I had a really hard time with RTW so i wanted to chime in too.  My DD was home with me for 4 months and part time until 8 months and now just recently back full time.  I remember bawling because I was so scared about how it was going to work (my DD was unable to take a bottle for a long time so it was extra scary not knowing how she would be fed while I was gone!) .  In the end, two things made the most difference - finding a caregiver that I trusted and really taking time for DD when I am home.  I found an in-home daycare that has only a couple of kids and she has really blossomed from the social interaction there.  it was not easy at first and she has just gotten better and better and I actually feel good dropping her off there now.  And like some PP's said I take time in the morning and evening to pause and really love on her and play with her without multitasking.  In fact, because of these two points I decided that every other week I am going to take a half day to drop her at daycare to clean the house.  She enjoys the time there and it gives me a chance to do all of the house chores faster baby-free so I can be a better mommy when I am home.  It will get better.  I was a wreck and she has continued to surprise me. 

  

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