So, I have been shopping...OB shopping, that is. Ya'll already know that from the care and delivery experience from my DS and my recent loss that I am FED the Fu@ck up with my current OB. Well - I don't just want to switch to just anyone...I want someone **Magical** who will give me fuzzy - wuzzies - KWIM?
So this week I have an appointment with a Midwife ( interesting but, I don't think it will be practical. I had a Csection with DS) In a perfect world, if I had my choice I would be birthin' babies at home on the crapper. Anyway - so I searched and googled and googled. Finally I found a Dr that not only does regular OB care but is also a fertility specialist! SCORE. I made an appointment to meet with him to see if the chemistry is right but, I have high hopes. His office passed my first "test" by having a friendly receptionist. I CANNOT stand bitchy receptionists. If you can't answer the phone politely then don't answer it ALL - jeeze people!
Anyway - I'm really looking forward to meeting this guy...I'm feeling productive but, at the same time frustrated and at a stand still...I want to get crackin! Part of me says "you got pregnant! you can do this!" I mean that feels like a huge success in itself. It means DH's swimmers are getting off their lazy tails and fertilizing something - damn it to hell.
On the other hand - does anyone feel like they are consumed with TTC? I feel like it is on my mind 24/7. I read, read, read way toooo much in search for knowledge and answers. I analyze my chart 20 times a day and I take more supplements than an 80 year old woman. I do this in secret. My acupuncturist tells me to "just be" and I appreciate her ~zen~ but my personality is way too productive to just "be". I have to feel like I can control some aspect of all this.
Anyway - this is just a long ramble of me letting some feelings out. Lets all sing kumbiya now

edit - because I can't type with nails on

Me: 27 DH: 33
Married 6 years
Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI
TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
No longer benched per New RE/OB!
Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic
Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
March 2, 2014 First AF
Re: Shopping and...obsessed?
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
I'm for real going to a yoga/meditation class at my gym tomorrow. I don't think I'll do the acupuncture yet but I am totally trying to find that zen of which you speak.
Then again, a zen me won't do shit for DHs morphology so maybe it will at least give me a new philosophy on TTC?
Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017
I really hope this new OB is the one, and that the meeting with him goes really well! I love my OB and couldn't imagine going through pregnancy, delivery, and now all of this garbage with a doc I didn't love.
And I'm totally with you on the obsessing thing. This stuff is largely out of our hands, so research, opks, charting, etc. help give a sense of some control.
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss