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WWPALD re: bedtime (Peanut2929)

MickeyM04MickeyM04 member
in Parenting after a Loss

So DS has always kind of given us cues about when we should move his bedtime.  For a long time he went down at 7:00, then we started putting him down at 7:00 and he would yammer at himself in his crib until about 7:30...after a few weeks of that we realized he really wasn't all that tired at 7:00 and started putting him down at 7:30.  Then he would tucker out within 5 minutes and be fast asleep.  Within the last 6 weeks, we started putting him down at 8:00, because he was yammering to himself for about half an hour before he fell asleep, and again, we realized he probably wasn't all that tired at 7:30.

So now for the past few nights he's been yammering at himself in his crib until 8:30.  I feel like this is way too late of a bedtime for an 18 month old...our nanny's 4 year old goes to bed at 8:30 and I'd like to think an 18 month old needs more sleep than a 4 year old.  That being said, I feel guilty/sad when I put him down at 8:00 and he just chats and sings in his crib for half an hour...like a) I'm putting him down when he's not tired, and b) if he's not tired, I could be spending that extra time with him (with my commute, I'm gone from 7:15 a.m. til 6:00 p.m. every day). 

I know there's nothing *wrong* with putting him down and having him chat with himself for awhile, but I hate feeling like I'm putting him down when he's not tired.  My friend was telling me that she puts her 17 month old down at 7:00 and then she usually talks to herself for like an hour in her crib before she goes to sleep, but my friend was saying that she likes having "her evening to herself."  To each their own, but that is really not my style to stick him in his crib at a certain time just because I want to relax or do housework or what have you.  That being said, I don't want to keep him up too late just because of my own personal guilt that I could be spending more time with him.  So what would you ladies do?

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Re: WWPALD re: bedtime (Peanut2929)

  • Missa_gMissa_g member
    It's a personal choice. My boys usually chatter to themselves/each other for anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. They're happy and just winding down. I do the same at night except I don't verbalize it. No one really lays down and goes immediately to sleep every single day.

    I know they're ready for bed because they run to their bedroom door and open it when I ask if they're ready for night night time. If they're not ready they use their selective hearing and keep playing. We do the same at nap time. Maybe you could try doing something similar? By letting it be their choice (within reason of course) we have totally stopped sleep related meltdowns and things have been going so much more smoothly.
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  • salsa_wifeysalsa_wifey member

    I'm putting my 20 month old down at 8pm. What time does DS wake up in the morning? How long are/is his nap/s?

    Another thing to consider is maybe DS is talking to himself as a sort of way to wind down before going to sleep. Maybe it's a calming routine for him. Consider your nighttime routine. Maybe he needs more to calm down. Do you read stories? You could consider another story or maybe rocking for a bit or singing a song. With my oldest, he was having troubles calming down for naptime so we added in reading stories (at that point we were only doing it at night) and it worked like a charm.

    I always caution myself on what I do for a nighttime routine though. I always make sure it's something I'm willing to keep doing even if we are out-of-town or at someones house. For example, I'm not going to add rocking him for 30 mins on top of stories because that's just too long of a nightime routine for me. I did read somewhere that the nightime routine should be at least 20 mins though.

    GL!

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  • JulyMomma2U2JulyMomma2U2 member
    I'm in the camp of putting them down when they show signs of being sleepy not exactly based on what time it is.. DS1 used to follow a schedule very closely.. bed time, for the longestttt time, was always by 7:30.. now, some nights it's 8 or 8:15.. other nights it still is 7:30.. depends a lot on how well he's napped that day and how active we were.. there are some times, though, when I put him in and I hear him chattering away and I feel guilty like I put him down too early.. but, like PP said.. I don't lay down in bed and immediately fall asleep, either.. it's not like he's fussing or crying.. he's just babbling playing with his book or bear guy until he dozes off.
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  • MickeyM04MickeyM04 member

    Our bedtime routine is about 30 minutes.  We do a bath, then I rock with him in his chair while he gets a sippy of milk, and then I put him down.  The rocking/sippy takes about 10-15 minutes.  So I think he's definitely got a good amount of wind down time.  I would guess he's just not that tired.

    With regard to his wake up time, it's generally 5:15-5:30 but since he started talking to himself until 8:30, he's gotten up at 6:30 or 7:00 every day.  So I guess maybe the later bedtime helps?  I guess we could just go for it and see what happens.  Or just follow his cues more.  Generally he does seem very tired when we start his bath--rubbing his eyes, etc.  Even in the bath he's rubbing his eyes, pulling his ears...then he rocks so quietly with me in his chair, and then I put him down and it's like, "PARTY IN MY CRIB, LADIES!"

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  • hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member
    Peanut2929 said:

    Our bedtime routine is about 30 minutes.  We do a bath, then I rock with him in his chair while he gets a sippy of milk, and then I put him down.  The rocking/sippy takes about 10-15 minutes.  So I think he's definitely got a good amount of wind down time.  I would guess he's just not that tired.

    With regard to his wake up time, it's generally 5:15-5:30 but since he started talking to himself until 8:30, he's gotten up at 6:30 or 7:00 every day.  So I guess maybe the later bedtime helps?  I guess we could just go for it and see what happens.  Or just follow his cues more.  Generally he does seem very tired when we start his bath--rubbing his eyes, etc.  Even in the bath he's rubbing his eyes, pulling his ears...then he rocks so quietly with me in his chair, and then I put him down and it's like, "PARTY IN MY CRIB, LADIES!"

    I say, if you are able to be flexible with wake up time (we HAVE to get up at 6AM, for example) and he seems well rested when he gets up, then let him stay up!  

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