WWYD: family drama

Smom901316 · November 2013

My mom and her mom do not talk. Period. My grandmother said something pretty harsh to my mother before last Christmas and they haven't spoken since. Subsequently , being as close with my mother as I am , I have not had much contact with my grandmother either.

My grandmother has tried to reach out to me via facebook , asking to meet Emma. My mom called asking what I was going to do and I told her I didn't know.

I am torn between trying to help mend this or staying out of it completely. What would you do? My grandmother owes my mother an apology.

FeetFirst · November 2013

I would have that conversation with your Grandma. Tell her that you want her to be part of your child's life but that this fight is causing a rift in the family that she needs to repair. See if your daughter is enough to help mend it?

Explain to her that she is not setting a very good example for how you will behave as a mother to your own daughter now.

MommyBolty · November 2013

What happened between your mother and grandmother is between them. You LO shouldn't be kept away from a family member because of drama that's between someone else. I completely understand that you are close with your mom and probably side with her. But don't punish your LO because of it. I would hope your mother would understand that much at least.

Just my 2 cents.

EricaLee2013 · November 2013

MommyBolty said:
What happened between your mother and grandmother is between them. You LO shouldn't be kept away from a family member because of drama that's between someone else.

Just my 2 cents.

This. I have my own drama with my mom, she didn't come to my college graduation, wedding shower, or wedding, but I'm trying to give LO the best. And the best means letting her have a relationship with her grandmother. As much as I hate my mother for hurting me, I know that DD would resent me for keeping her grandmother out of her life for my own purposes.

Ffrey1119 · November 2013

MommyBolty said:
What happened between your mother and grandmother is between them. You LO shouldn't be kept away from a family member because of drama that's between someone else. I completely understand that you are close with your mom and probably side with her. But don't punish your LO because of it. I would hope your mother would understand that much at least.

Just my 2 cents.

This.

Make your own decisions on who's lives you want lo to be involved in. I would stay out of the drama. It just brings everyone down in the end.

sftbllstr87 · November 2013

I agree with the other posts. You're LO and your grandmother deserve to have a relationship. Explain to your mom and your grandma that they need to work out their issues for Emma. It will be much better for her to grow up without the family drama. Maybe that will make them realize an apology is needed and forgiveness also .. Good luck on whatever you decide

TexasGirl81 · November 2013

Yep, it's between them. They are grown women and will eventually figure it out, or not.

kcooper1986 · November 2013

I could have written this myself. Only difference is that I have never had much of a relationship with my Grandma. She is a self-centered, negative person and I have known that since I was young. She has never tried to have a real relationship or get to know me and my sister, and is jealous of my other grandparents (we are very close). She also wrote me, wanting to meet DD (and also complained to me that my Mom didn't call to give her the details on DD til 3 weeks after she was born). I guess it depends on your relationship with your grandma. I told mine that she was lucky my mom called her at all, and that she has never tried to have a relationship with me, so I don't know why she thinks DH and I would allow her a relationship with DD. Harsh, maybe. But I'm over her crap towards my Mom and have been for years.

PB102012 · November 2013

I would let her meet Emma. I completely understand your loyalty to your Mom- I have two aunts (my mother's younger sisters) that do not speak because one posted a horrible comment about the other and everyone saw it. I am super close to one of them and side with her completely. However, my other Aunt (the one I do not side with) is going to meet LO when we go down to see my family for Christmas, and if she wanted to come visit in the mean time I would allow her to do so. Like other PP's said, it's between them, I wouldn't get involved. If she asks your opinion, it's up to you whether or not you want to weigh in.

Smom901316 · November 2013

Thanks ladies. I think that I will meet grandma for lunch and see how that goes. It breaks my heart for them but maybe this is a start.

CaliforniaDream87 · November 2013

MommyBolty said:
What happened between your mother and grandmother is between them. You LO shouldn't be kept away from a family member because of drama that's between someone else. I completely understand that you are close with your mom and probably side with her. But don't punish your LO because of it. I would hope your mother would understand that much at least.

Just my 2 cents.

Exactly this.

Soleil3 · November 2013

What did she say?

tdmklm · November 2013

EricaLee2013 said:

MommyBolty said:
What happened between your mother and grandmother is between them. You LO shouldn't be kept away from a family member because of drama that's between someone else.

Just my 2 cents.
This. I have my own drama with my mom, she didn't come to my college graduation, wedding shower, or wedding, but I'm trying to give LO the best. And the best means letting her have a relationship with her grandmother. As much as I hate my mother for hurting me, I know that DD would resent me for keeping her grandmother out of her life for my own purposes.

Eh. It depends on how BSC your mother/father is. Mine are not only certifiable, they're certified. Best decision I ever made was never to talk to them again, which precludes them from seeing my children, ever.

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