reactions to "the news"

jamboree jess · November 2013

I realize that the majority of you probably haven't spilled the beans to too many people yet, but what were the reactions to the ones that you have?

I'm 24 and I own a home with my husband, and I've gotten some upsetting reactions from close relatives.

Quite a few "I'm happy if you're happy" or "That's great if it's what you wanted"

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about that. It seems rude to me. If I'm telling you that I'm pregnant, just give me congratulations, jeez. If I were 15 or something, I would understand that reaction, but I'm on my feet and prepared for children. My feelings are hurt.

I've gotten an equal number of hugs and jumping up and down congratulations, so that's good, but still.

what about you guys?

purpleXdandelion · November 2013

That is hard to get that reply. I got a lot of that with ds since he was very unexpected (we were engaged but not married yet, still in college etc). But after a couple weeks and after we assured everyone we were excited it was so fun and exciting.

This time, we told our families by DS wearing a big brother shirt. My mom, who is usually quiet and reserved, threw her fists in the air and was like "yes!!!" And did a total happy dance. My MIL and dad both didn't get it at first but were really excited once they caught on haha

mrscurlygurl · November 2013

Haven't told that many people yet. Actually telling my dad and stepmother tomorrow and DH's family next week. My friends won't be surprised though as most of them know we were trying.

Were the negative reactions from family or friends? If friends, could it be that you are in a very different place in your life from some of them? If family...I don't know why they would react that way. It's rude.

earichar23 · November 2013

jamboree Jess I'm sorry to hear you are having some disappointing responses to your exciting news. I think I speak for most of us on here when I say Whoo Hoo on your BFP!

jamboree jess · November 2013

mrscurlygurl said:

Haven't told that many people yet. Actually telling my dad and stepmother tomorrow and DH's family next week. My friends won't be surprised though as most of them know we were trying.

Were the negative reactions from family or friends? If friends, could it be that you are in a very different place in your life from some of them? If family...I don't know why they would react that way. It's rude.

The iffy reactions were from my stepmom, uncle, and my boss at work :S

I've definitely got friends that aren't at the same place in life as me and went as far as to say when my husband and I started trying "I hope you don't get pregnant" (my very best friend, btw) but she's at least pretending to be happy for me now. It's all very frustrating. I just want hugs, not to feel bad about getting pregnant.

beccaxrad · November 2013

I'm 25, married 2 years and my grandmother's reaction was, "you could've waited a few more years..." I thought she would be happy since this will be the first great grand child. Some reactions you just have to ignore I guess... :-/

littlesparrow602 · November 2013

Well, I had surgery the beginning of october to get my blocked tubes unblocked, and also to remove a large cyst. I told my mom of the surgery, but only of the cyst, because of reactions like the one she gave me after the fact. She told me I should have had them tie my tubes while they were in there.

I'm dreading telling my mom about this one. She loves her grandkids, but can never just be happy with our choices.

cakebatter27 · November 2013

DH's grandma told me a couple years ago we were too young then. My response was "weren't you 21? So 4 years younger than what we are now?" It'll be interesting to see her reaction at Christmas. We'll both be 28 then and married over 4 years.

Don't let people bother you. This is Your baby, not theirs.

Mungojim · November 2013

I've only told my mom and best friend so far. I was most anxious about telling my mother because she just visited a few weeks ago and she gave me long lectures about how our house isn't big enough for the three girls, etc. But, when I told her we were expecting our 4th, she laughed and she said she was very happy for us and she'll be here for the delivery. She's from a family of 9 kids, and she has 4 kids, so she's very good with family matters of this nature. Instead of being like, "You're fitting more into that house?!" she said, "I think I know what we can do to make this work in your space." So helpful! Her reaction really calmed a lot of fears I was having. I'm very lucky. She's awesome.

I was also slightly worried about my best friend because she had a hissy fit when I told her we were pregnant with #2 back in 2007. I was sad she wasn't excited, but usually, when people react badly, it's for some reason having nothing to do with you. In my friend's case, she was approaching 40, was unmarried, and though she does relish being single, I think sometimes she longs for a family and at that particular time was feeling the clock ticking. I think she had a hard time feeling happy for me when she was feeling sad for herself. She seems to have gotten over it now...or she's just given up on being frustrated with me since now we're at #4.

We're going to wait to tell anyone else though for a little while. The only other person I'm worried about not handling it well is my husband's mother, who, when we told her we were expecting #3 really took it hard. She came around eventually but it was the most awkward and bizarre conversation I've ever had. She was like, "Why?" Haha! I let DH do the talking that time.

HollynLeana · November 2013

I think 24 is a fine time...you know you are ready and that's what matters! I think our parents just want what they think is best for us, which is odd because most of them had us in their twenties!
My story is a bit different. I am married to a lovely girl, so we had to TRY to get pregnant and work with an RE. My moms concern is that I am single kidney'd and that carrying may put too much stress on me. She was all for adoption, or me asking DW to carry (which she would gladly do) but I want a baby of my own, and I thought her of all people would get that. I had to reassure her that I saw a MFM dr a urologist and ob who all agreed that I could carry. There is always that little twinge though, like I should have known better or something. I say, the heart wants what the heart wants, and that is true of most things!
Now, DWs parents....act thrilled, but I'm sure they are thinking, this gold digger just wants to quit working! Hahhaa! J/K (kinda)
It will all work out! I wish I had a baby in my 20s! At 33, I am happy as can be, but a little tired! Good luck!!!
I just got my "behind the scenes" wedding shots, so I have attached one!

sAAmFam · November 2013

Totally know what you mean. I have 1 child of my own and my other 2 are from my hb previous marraige. I have to problems from my family but it seems like everyone else has a problem with it. I don't NEED another kid is what I've heard. We aren't in the position I would like to be in right now but I'm going to be 37 on Monday. The clock is ticking. Our house is too small and I don't even know where a baby will go. People can be pretty rude. They don't realize how much stress you are already going through and then comments like that are added.

Myanswer true · November 2013

We had a few rather disappointing reactions too, mostly because DH and I have only been married for 5 months, but we are both graduated, employed, and own our own home, plus we dated for 5 years before getting married and lived together for about 6 months before, so its not like we needed "time to get to know each other" (reaction from my "best friend" who married her husband after knowing him for 6 months).
But we also got some great reactions, like both our mothers squealing and jumping up and down, or my other best friend who's been saving baby things for me since she had my goddaughter. I say let the haters hate, DH and I are overjoyed for Sprout to be on his way!

1982Babies · November 2013

I think a lot of times when you get the "you should've waited", people are expressing their own wish to have waited longer and gotten more partying/travel/etc. out of the way before having children. That's what I see, in my experience.

And it seems to always be the divorced, miserable women who pressure you to have kids and get married, but then when you do they're all like "whoopdeedoo". Like, wtf is your issue??

Emorylaura · November 2013

I'm just worried about my DH mom. She does not approve of anything I did and everything I do will "ruin his life". But we've gotten pretty good about blocking her out until she comes around. Hopefully she doesn't make the drama public like she did last time and pretty much told everyone in town we were ignoring her for no reason.

HollynLeana · November 2013

Summerlovin314 said:
@SarahCV4... What was flaggable in @HollynLeana's post??

I have not told anyone yet. We are telling family Dec 11, as we can tell them in person, and my first u/s is Dec 10, so hopefully we will have some reassurance that everything is going ok. DH and I have talked about it though.. We have been married almost 5 years and, while our parents aren't pressuring us, you can tell that they are starting to get really excited for grandkids. We think my mom will (happy) cry, my dad will have a huge silly grin and chuckle, and his parents are going to smile and be happy. I'm curious if we are even close to the actual reactions. It will be the first grandkid on each side!

Also curious why my post was flagged?

HollynLeana · November 2013

@emorylaura i have a similar situation with a loon MIL

tealowl · November 2013

HollynLeana said:

Summerlovin314 said:
@SarahCV4... What was flaggable in @HollynLeana's post??

I have not told anyone yet. We are telling family Dec 11, as we can tell them in person, and my first u/s is Dec 10, so hopefully we will have some reassurance that everything is going ok. DH and I have talked about it though.. We have been married almost 5 years and, while our parents aren't pressuring us, you can tell that they are starting to get really excited for grandkids. We think my mom will (happy) cry, my dad will have a huge silly grin and chuckle, and his parents are going to smile and be happy. I'm curious if we are even close to the actual reactions. It will be the first grandkid on each side!
Also curious why my post was flagged?

I am as well.

(You can ask a mod or TB to unflag an unnecessary one fyi!)

HollynLeana · November 2013

tealowl said:

HollynLeana said:

Summerlovin314 said:
@SarahCV4... What was flaggable in @HollynLeana's post??

I have not told anyone yet. We are telling family Dec 11, as we can tell them in person, and my first u/s is Dec 10, so hopefully we will have some reassurance that everything is going ok. DH and I have talked about it though.. We have been married almost 5 years and, while our parents aren't pressuring us, you can tell that they are starting to get really excited for grandkids. We think my mom will (happy) cry, my dad will have a huge silly grin and chuckle, and his parents are going to smile and be happy. I'm curious if we are even close to the actual reactions. It will be the first grandkid on each side!
Also curious why my post was flagged?
I am as well.

(You can ask a mod or TB to unflag an unnecessary one fyi!)

Who is our mod?

mbRN83 · November 2013

@SarahCV4 can you please remove that flag? There was no reason for that.

HollynLeana · November 2013

Thank you @mbRn83

Jennik30 · November 2013

I agree.
But on to the topic at hand. I'm sorry you're not getting the reactions you should be getting, especially since you and your husband are in a great position to have a baby. And 24 is a great age for having a baby. If anything I should be getting your reactions and you should be receiving my reactions.

mrscurlygurl · November 2013

@iris427 is our mod...hopefully she can help with this wrongful flagging issue if @SarahCV4 doesn't return.

1982Babies · November 2013

HollynLeana said:

@SarahCV4... What was flaggable in @HollynLeana's post?? I have not told anyone yet. We are telling family Dec 11, as we can tell them in person, and my first u/s is Dec 10, so hopefully we will have some reassurance that everything is going ok. DH and I have talked about it though.. We have been married almost 5 years and, while our parents aren't pressuring us, you can tell that they are starting to get really excited for grandkids. We think my mom will (happy) cry, my dad will have a huge silly grin and chuckle, and his parents are going to smile and be happy. I'm curious if we are even close to the actual reactions. It will be the first grandkid on each side!
Also curious why my post was flagged?

I bet someone hit the wrong button... or they're jealous of your hot wife. Seriously, you two are lovely ladies.

.... and that's how I got booted from TB... by being a creeper. :P

HollynLeana · November 2013

@1982babies awwww thanks....and hahhahahhaaahahahhahaahhaahhaah

1982Babies · November 2013

@HollynLeana
$:\$ ">

*Embarassed* lol

iris427 · November 2013

Now it's saying I flagged the post too. Grrr. Trying to fix it.

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