Dreading Chistmas dinner!

LisaLisa1980 · November 2013

My family is insane, we'll start there. We had a family dinner early October when DS was 5 months and it was a complete disaster. Dinner was at 5pm and he goes to bed at 6:30, and because we stayed late (yes, our fault), he ended up having a big meltdown. My family also does not respect babies space. As soon as we walked in the door, he had my Mom, my aunt and my little cousin in his face laughing, clapping away - he was completely overwhelmed and started crying. This was not even 1 minute after we arrived.

Come Christmas, DS will be 8 months. I'm wondering from you Moms with 8 months olds, and STMs, what will his awake time and sleeping habits be like then? yes, I know all babies are different, but at least give me your experiences. Right now at 6.5 months he can stay awake 2-3 hours, and bedtime routine starts at 6 and he's sleeping by 6:30. Since it's Christmas, there will be dinner, gift opening, desserts.... Dinner will probably be at 5 again but I'm stressing out about him melting down before 6 since that's his typical bedtime.

I just do not want to deal with another meltdown again on Christmas eve! What to do, what to do???

littlebean510 · November 2013

OMG, you are singing my song. I too have anxiety about the upcoming holidays, between Thanksgiving and then Christmas. We will be traveling between the two families with lunches/dinners, gift opening, etc. It's tiring for me, and I always feel exhausted afterwards never mind how an 8 month old baby is going to feel. I don't have any advice, just sympathy. You are not alone in your worry. We are going to try do our best with working around LO's napping schedule but we are also going to make sure we are able to see both sides of the family for each holiday. I hope we don't pay for it afterwards with an overtired or cranky baby. Fingers crossed!!

=Lee=B · November 2013

My 8 month old only last 1.5 hours sometimes I can get her to go 2hrs between naps. I will just bring my baby carrier and wear her for naps. Can you bring a playpen and put him down for a nap before he is overtired? I don't know that there will be a huge difference between how long he lasts now at 6.5 months and how long he will last at 8months. My daughter hasn't really changes in that time frame. I would plan to somehow get him to sleep while there to buy you more time without meltdowns! My daughter only needs a 20-30min nap to buy her another 1.5hrs of awake time, even thought she tends to nap for 2hrs at home.

LisaLisa1980 · November 2013

If he has a nap while there, I'm worried it'll make bedtime harder once we're home

=Lee=B · November 2013

Yep...but if you have to choose between harder while there and not enjoying dinner or harder once home...I'd choose harder once home! It will throw things off that night and likely into the next day. But, that's bound to happen with anything that throws the schedule off!

For us, when something like this comes up she will nap while out and be in a great mood. The minute we get home she loses it and has total meltdown and it takes both of us, lots of time, and tons of patience to get her calm and asleep. But...she is calm and happy while we are out so it's all good!

LisaLisa1980 · November 2013

My aunt is telling me that I'm supposed to be the boss of him & that I need to train him to be able to go to bed when it's convenient for US so that we can stay out late & not worry about him getting tired.
WTF?!?!?!

spring_time · November 2013

I feel you on this. Holidays were so stressful with DS. I was always worried about his naptime/bedtime, and my family was constantly in his face trying to take pictures, shouting his name, and vying for his attention. It would stress me out when he would get overwhelmed and tired. A few thoughts:

1. Could you ask to move dinner up? Even an hour makes a difference.

2. Set a time you have to leave and just let family know ahead of time. Don't explain or make excuses, just say you need to go at such and such a time. They can decide what to do with that by either moving up time, speeding things up, or nothing at all.

3. Is it possible for you to host at your own house? We did this last year because we were sick of traveling all over the place to accommodate everyone else. It made life 10x easier.

4. Do not be afraid to take your LO and walk out of the room to decompress a bit.

Another option is to just kind of go with the flow. As I said, I was like you with DS. With DD, we just go with it. We can't always just cater to her needs because we also have DS. If she gets cranky, then I let all those people vying for her attention take her. If comments are made, I just shrug and tell them it is past her bedtime. Have some offhand comments in your bag of tricks to respond to comments from your aunt and others who might be critical.

LisaLisa1980 · November 2013

DS can sleep anywhere too. It's the overtiredness and how overwhelming my family can be that's stressing me out. He can scream like I've never heard a baby scream before. There about 25 ppl & they all speak loud & over top of each other. It's just a crazy time

WeAreSmalls · November 2013

My family sounds a lot like yours - everyone goes crazy when they see a baby. They want to thold them, talk to them, take tons of pictures, etc. I'm a big believer that babies feed off of adults' feelings. If you go into the day stressed and anxious, I think it is more likely that your baby will be cranky and upset. My vote is to mostly go with the flow but there are ways to make things a littler easier. Hopefully your baby is a car sleeper - meaning he will get a nap on the way to the party and sleep on the way home. When DD was that age and we were going to an evening family event we would leave our house about a half hour early to allow for extra driving around time while DD napped (because she had a tendency to fall asleep just as we were arriving to our destination). She would also typically fally asleep on the way home and would usually stay asleep once we got home. Plan on that and make sure your baby is changed, in his PJ's and fed before you get in the car to head home so when you do get home you can just slide him in his crib. If he gets cranky during the dinner, take him out of the room to a quiet place to rock or cuddle. He might fall asleep and if he does just let him sleep. DD slept through most of her Christams day at the in-laws. Depending on who is hosting and how close you are to them, you might want to ask before a meltdown where you could take your LO for some quiet time - that way you're prepared. Pay special attention to his queues for eating - don't let him get over hungry if you are already running the risk of being over-tired. Let family help out if they want. If an aunt or cousing is really good with babies and they want to rock, feed, change your DS let them and try to enjoy the day yourself as much as possible.

pinottoparenthood · November 2013

I completely get where you're coming from, but I also agree that you should try not to worry and go with the flow. It sucks and is stressful when baby is overtired and screaming, but it may or may not happen. Follow baby's cues and try to let him sleep when you can and he seems tired. I agree with @nicb13 that if you aren't willing to kind of go with the flow and roll with the punches, you are chained to your house and your entire life has to revolve around your baby's schedule. This doesn't work for our family.

But take all of this with a grain of salt, because our little guy is not on a schedule at all... we are a total nap when tired, breastfeed on demand kind of family.

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